


To Catch a Smuggler

by sidsaid



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, mandalorian - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bounty Hunter!Rey, Bounty Hunters, Din is Rey’s father, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Mandalorian, Mandalorian AU, Mandalorian Culture, Reylo - Freeform, Smuggler Ben Solo, Smuggler Han Solo, Smuggler!Ben, Smut, Soulmates, future smut, smuggler, what if Ben had given up the Jedi life?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:49:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidsaid/pseuds/sidsaid
Summary: When Mandalorian Bounty Hunter Rey sets her sights on the elusive smuggler Han Solo as her first bounty, she doesn’t quite know what to do when she finds herself feeling a strange pull towards his wayward son.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 73
Kudos: 165
Collections: Reylo Hidden Gems





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends.   
> This is basically a 'what if?' fic – What if Ben had given up on being a Jedi? What if Rey had been found by our favourite Mandalorian, Din Djarin? I’ve been writing this for a fair few months now, so I hope you enjoy it :D.

The first time Rey had seen her father, she had not been scared. 

Rey had smiled at his beskari helm, then looked to her brother; as small as she had always known him, watching her with interest.

Rey remembered the dark. She didn't like to think about it, but it was one of her first memories. Blind, hungry and confused. The memory of why she'd been locked in that box was long forgotten, but she'd never forget the claustrophobic feeling, the smell, the seemingly never-ending gurgle of her stomach and the cracked pain of her lips. 

Her first memory of her father, though, was her favourite. Of being saved. His gloved hands reaching for her, and holding her tightly in his arms. 

That thought seemed to sour now as she looked to her father with her rifle held over her shoulder as he crossed his arms and stared at her – most likely with a scowl beneath his helmet. His weapons were lined up on the table of the large lounge room and he’d already buckled on his beskar for his next bounty hunt. 

'You're not ready for a solo bounty, Rey.' 

She huffed, glad for her own helmet, because she could emote to her heart’s content without retribution, despite knowing that her father wasn't one for punishment. 

'I can go with her,' her brother said excitedly, beaming up at them both from his place perched at the end of the table. 

'Are you crazy?' Their father responded in turn. 

'I'm 75 years old.' 

Rey chuckled and approached him, giving his head a soft stroke. 'And you don't look a day over 10.'

He frowned and she looked to her father. 

'The Tribe wouldn't deny me, father. This is the way.' 

He hesitated and then sighed, resigned. 'This is the way.' 

She closed the space between them, pulling him warmly against her, despite the gleaming beskar at his chest. 'I won't disappoint you.' 

He held her hands softly, both their gloves still discarded on the table. It was nice to feel the warmth of his skin, and to know him through touch despite never having seen his face. 

'I was never scared that you'd disappoint me.' 

Rey smiled, even though he couldn't see her. 'Well I was trained by the most skilled Mandalorian in the system, wasn’t I?' 

He was silent, and Rey chuckled at his humility. Her father could never take a compliment. 

'Maybe you should go with your brother.' He considered. 

Rey looked over at the sibling in question and he shrugged.  _ I can always sneak on after you _ , he thought. 

She acted nonchalant and shook her head. 

'You know I don't like the two of you communicating like that,' their father grumbled. Din turned to grab his weapons. 'How I ended up with two super-powered children, I'll never know.' 

'The Force willed it,' his son perked up. It had become a catchphrase ever since they'd found out what it was that felt like second nature to them both. 

'You both should be doing greater things than bounty hunting.'

Rey grinned, moving towards her father and hugging his back. 'Maybe later.' 

Din turned with a sigh, the forehead of his helm resting against Rey's. 'Holo me if there is any trouble, okay? Ask for the small fry to start with, and watch out for the pretty boys with the nice smiles. They always mean trouble.' 

Rey held back her snort and just nodded. 'Yes, father. I won't take Green Bean here with me, either.' 

'Hey, don't call me that.' Her brother complained. 'I'll know how she is, father, don't worry. I can feel her through the Force.' 

Din seemed to accept that with a nod, and he went back to holstering his weaponry and adjusting his armour.

Rey looked down at her own. It was threadbare. She’d barely had the opportunity to earn her way, so this would be the start, and hopefully one day soon, she’d have a full-set of gleaming beskar armour like her father. Though currently, she supposed that to some extent she preferred the lack of weight. It was easier to move without the armour, and as the years had gone by, she'd found it easier and easier to block and dodge blaster bolts simply by intuition. By the Force, as her brother always said. 

He'd been the one to question her decision to don the Mandalorian helm. She hadn't had to. Rey could have been a bounty hunter regardless, she could have been anything, though she looked at her father and found home with him. The Mandalorians were her home, they were all she knew. Yet even after a year of wearing the helmet, her father would watch her, as if he were deliberating on something. And Rey knew that he wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to be like him – didn’t have to wear the helmet if she didn’t want to, yet he wouldn’t say it out loud. 

'I love you,' she said easily, her smile hidden but beaming. 

He chuckled as he pulled on his gloves. 'It's strange to hear you say that and not expect a request for candy.' 

'Well I'm not a child anymore.'

He paused. 'I suppose you're not.' 

'She'll come back, father.' 

Rey looked immediately to her brother, seemingly having read some anxiety in their father that was even beyond her. 'The Force wills it.' 

'Enough of the Force. The both of you. Rey, you're taking the TK-31. How's the ship?' 

'Good condition. Aren't I the best engineer you know?' 

Din laughed. 'Your humility knows no bounds. The best engineer, pilot, fighter, shooter.' 

Rey nodded. 'I have everything, so don't worry too much about me, because I know you will anyway.' 

'Fine. I left you both lunch in the kitchen.'

She laughed and before he could say anything else, he left them both, and neither moved until they heard his ship launch. Her hands reached to either side of her face, and pressing the release, she removed her helmet, running a hand through her hair and huffing. 

‘If father caught you.’ 

She smiled, sticking out her tongue. ‘You have seen my face before, brother. You aren’t a stranger.’ 

He quietened and Rey moved towards him and picked him up, walking to the kitchen. She watched him eat the stew their father had left and began counting her knives. 

'You're not going to pick small fry, are you?' 

Rey scoffed. 'Kriff no. It’s not really following father's legacy, is it?' 

He laughed and shook his head. 'Oh, I hope you regret it.' 

'Rude. I'll remember you said that  _ Green Bean _ .' 

'The Force has interesting plans for the both of us, I think.' 

'Well let’s hope they involve me and glory. Now behave, I don't want to hear there has been a mysterious case of tripped children when I get back.' 

Her brother grinned and shook his head. 'Bring back something interesting.' 

Rey nodded and slid from her chair. Approaching her brother one last time, she pressed a soft kiss against his cheek and flicked his ear. He grumbled, but she just smiled. 

Putting her helmet back on, Rey checked the vibrosword strapped to her hip and holstered her rifle onto her back.

The Crown Horn sat just outside of their homestead on Dantooine. The gunship had been her father's gift to her on what they had deemed as Rey’s 16th birthday. She’d barely been able to lift ten feet off the ground, but Rey had spent three painstaking years bringing her back to life. Her father had seen about outfitting the hidden compartments for weapons; a bunk room; a brig; hiding spaces large enough for her and her brother; as well as enough power behind it to compete with the fastest ships. 

She climbed the ramp, grinning as she looked over the space. This was what she had trained ten years for, and nothing was going to stop her. 

**#**

'You look like an idiot.' Han said shaking his head with disbelief. 

Ben looked over his clothes, straightening the lapels on the new black sleeveless jacket he'd just picked up from Coruscant. 'Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, dad.' Ben shouted after him. He frowned, rolling up the sleeves of his thick black jumper and pulling the brown glove tighter onto his dominant hand. 

_ It was always something _ , Ben Solo thought with annoyance. 

Ben finished dressing; pulling on his black trousers and then buckling on his thigh holster along with the gun his Uncle Lando had given him a million years ago. Considering it was older than Ben, it still worked well enough and it helped Ben feel a little less like he belonged somewhere else. His dad did that enough for him. 

Looking up through the doorway his father had walked through, he could hear him conversing with Chewbacca and he moved forward, doing his best to listen. Han was gruffly complaining about a message, and Ben breathed a little easier knowing the conversation wasn't about him. 

He sifted through the pockets of his old jacket, his fingers drifting across cool metal before he hesitated. Ben sighed before pulling the weapon out and parsing his eyes over it. 

Ben hadn't ignited it in years. The last time he had, had been the last time he'd seen his uncle Luke. 

When Ben had gotten home after stealing a ship, Han had said 'you'll just go back to Luke anyway, so just this once you can ride with us.' And he still said it, even after six years. Even after over a hundred smuggling operations. 

Luke didn't want him back, Ben was sure of it. He hadn't come begging, there had been no holos, no messages. And even if Ben didn't find smuggling the most stimulating career, it was better than spending days meditating, and communing with the Force. He'd tried it, and it wasn't for him. Rather than making his mind quiet, it seemed to only make the world louder and confusing. 

The lightsaber… Ben wasn't entirely sure what to do with it. He probably should have left it behind, disabled it or even just locked it away, and keeping it as a reminder of an almost future. Sometimes he wore it, more to remind him of where he'd come from, even though it seemed to do little more than confuse him. 

Despite it all, and even if his dad was crotchety, Ben didn't need the Force to know that Han liked him there. Though Chewie liked to say it outright. 

Ben tied the Sabacc dice around his neck, and strapped the lightsaber to the loop on the inside of his jacket. He'd never use it, but it came in handy when it came to threats. He'd liked being known as the rogue smuggling Jedi. 

Han was looking over a star map, detailing the route they'd be taking to pick up and courier a delivery of beskar to a client across the system. Chewie was nodding along, making small calibrations to the ship's navigation, looking nonchalant about it all. 

At least Ben's presence had made Han more reliable. He didn't have angry clients on him anymore from failed transactions, because they hadn't missed a deadline in six years. 

'What do you think?' His dad asked, indicating the route they'd take.

'What's the weight going to be?' 

Han huffed. 'Unknown. Those nerf herders are keeping it a secret.' 

Ben rolled his eyes. 'Typical.' Beskar wasn't a lightweight metal, and even though it was rare, Ben had seen plenty of rare materials turn up on their ship in the tonne range. A large amount would slow down the falcon, making evasion more difficult if they had authorities on their tale. Or worse, a bounty hunter. 'Let's think worst case scenario. It fills the hold, weighs two tonnes: That's gonna take about a parsec an hour from our speed.’

‘Could be worse,’ Han said with a shrug. 

‘Could be the difference between life and death.’ 

Chewbacca groaned and Han gave his son an unamused pout. ‘Stop calculating the odds, you’re just giving me and Chewie headaches. If we needed a pessimist, I would have called old Akbar.’ 

Ben scoffed. ‘That’s why I have to keep saving your ass.’ 

Han waved him away and Ben sighed, following after him. Han and Chewie took the pilot and co-pilot seats while Ben stood behind them, looking out of the viewport. It was a short journey to Socorro where they’d pick up the Beskar. Ben had his doubts considering their contact was a Rodian and they seemed to have terrible luck with them. 

‘Hey kid, have you thought about taking a vacation?’ Han asked casually. ‘I heard Cantonica is a nice place for a break.’

‘Why? What don’t you want me knowing?’ 

Chewie started to laugh, and Ben looked to his father, knowing he’d caught him. 

‘We’re gonna go and visit your mom. Help her out a bit.’ 

Ben smirked. ‘It’s no secret that I’m not with Luke anymore, dad.’ 

Silence reigned for far too long and Ben’s huff of annoyance made the ship stutter, the Force reflexively unsettled by his attitude. ‘Is that why you always talk to her before? Have you been telling her that you’ve been taking me on weekend trips across the cosmos?’ 

‘Well I told her you took a short sabbatical from Luke, which is the truth.’ 

He rolled his eyes. ‘I’m not going back, and six years should have convinced you of that.’ Ben narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. ‘I’m sure Luke has told mom.’ 

‘You know how he is. He talks about more important things.’ 

Ben closed his eyes, his cheek twitching. ‘Then I’m going with you to see mom.’ He refrained from letting his ire build anymore, but he couldn’t help letting out an annoyed snort. ‘Here was me thinking that you hadn’t visited mom in six years. So all those times you carted me off to some cantina and disappeared for weeks, you were off with mom?’ 

‘Hey, you loved every second of it.’ 

He rolled his eyes. ‘There’s more to life than gambling, booze and sex.’

‘Not when you’re in your 20s.’ 

‘I don’t understand how mom tolerates you at all.’

Chewbacca agreed before pulling them out of hyperspace. Socorro loomed ahead of them, and the Wookiee steered them towards the spaceport, landing with some fudged clearance codes and powering down most of the machinery. 

Han got up, holstering his gun. ‘She can’t resist me,’ he said with a wink. ‘Anyway,’ Han continued, pressing the door release. ‘If you ain’t going back to Luke, you should go and help your mom. I know we play spies, but you’d be better up in the air.’ 

Ben didn’t respond. It had been on his mind for years now to leave his dad and be more active with the Resistance – actually be a pilot instead of doing side jobs while hustling for the credits the Resistance always needed. He knew his mom missed him, he could feel it whenever she reached out to him, whenever she called, yet she was too selfless to ask. She wanted it to be his decision. 

‘I think if I leave you to it, old man, you’ll be in a jail cell by next week.’

Han bumped him with an elbow as they moved to the docking doors. ‘I managed for decades before you came around.’ 

‘Barely.’ 

Chewie agreed once more, receiving a disgruntled ‘hey’ from Han in return.

Ben chuckled, but followed after the two of them, his lightsaber bouncing against his ribs on the inside of his jacket. 

**#**

‘TK, you done charging yet?’ Rey asked, flicking switches on her ship.

The droid beeped in the affirmative, and she heard his motor as he approached, flying to land on her shoulder. He wasn’t much heavier than a lothcat, so Rey allowed the droid to rest there as he peeked over her shoulder. This was as much her adventure as it was her droid’s. He’d been a gift from an elder; broken and in need of repair, and Rey had fixed TK-31 herself. 

It had been a short journey from home to the Bounty Hunter’s Guild at the Dantooine central outpost to get assigned a fob and the guildmaster had handed it over with a chuckle, telling Rey explicitly that he expected her to fail, but was impressed by her willingness to do so. 

Han Solo. Famed smuggler, rebel hero and all around scoundrel. Rey could bet that when her father had told her to watch out for the ‘talkers’, he’d had people like Solo in mind. The man had been in the game for almost forty years, and had been successfully brought to the authorities only once, and it had been encased in carbonite. Rey had to say she was impressed. 

While her father preferred carbonite as his method of transportation, Rey had decided she didn’t like the risks it posed. She’d do this the old fashioned way, and regardless, her ship was booby-trapped enough to stop easy escape. TK was also programmed very well. 

The pair of them were in orbit of Socorro, the tracking fob at the helm beeping erratically. The famous Millenium Falcon crested past them, descending and landing in the ship port and Rey followed easily, watching as they collected their next haul. 

Three males. Two human – one Han Solo, and the third a Wookiee. Rey knew that the Wookiee would most likely cause the biggest issue, so she watched them from a distance, considering when to strike. 

**#**

Socorro’s main spaceport wasn’t the worst they’d been to. Unsavoury characters, though of course taking up the majority, weren’t as bad as those that could be found in Hutt space. The people here were more accustomed to bar brawls and pickpocketing than outright murder and slaving. 

Han had the directions, so Ben followed a few steps back, his hands in his trouser pockets; as casual as possible while he read the emotions of those around him. The Force was alive and well, humming gently and flowing through all the living beings there. Ben’s utilisation of the Force like this was the main reason they’d mostly avoided getting into scrapes. It meant preventing getting into brawls at all, because he already knew what was coming. Though Ben wasn’t sure whether the fact that he hadn’t actually had to fight in a while, was good or not. The odd cage match or drunken brawl wasn’t exactly a good source of keeping up his physical training. 

Chewie turned, talking to Ben. The young man nodded in response and slowed down, taking a look-out position at a doorway leading into a mechanics bay. He folded his arms, leaning against the wall. 

It didn’t take much manipulation of the Force to hear what was going on, and he waited as his father spoke with their contact. The Rodian didn’t seem to like Han one bit, and Ben couldn’t say he was surprised. Even if Han Solo was a great smuggler, he was most certainly hated. 

Chewbacca came out a few moments later, pushing a hovercart load of crates. Ben whistled, looking over them all. He’d underestimated the quantity. 

‘Where the hell did they get this much beskar from?’ He asked under his breath. He stealthily lifted the lid, removing a single bar of it, looking it over and sliding it into his back pocket. 

His father was already leading the way and Ben looked about him, gauging the world around them as they headed back to the Falcon. It was a high-value run, so Ben would be surprised if there weren’t to be some hiccough in their plans. It was like the Solo destiny to almost die every single day.

The two older men loaded up the beskar while Ben went about checking the few stalls that ringed the docking platform for anything interesting. He got a handful of skewered meat and as he chewed, he looked over a young Twi’lek’s cart of jewelry, fingering it against the soft velvet backing.

‘For a lover?’ She questioned. 

Ben chuckled, shaking his head. ‘My mom. Something she can wear in her hair should work.’

The Twi’lek dipped beneath the cart and removed a small box, before unveiling it to Ben. ‘Real Nabooian gold in the old Alderaan style.’ It was an ornate clip meant to hold up braids just below the crown. 

‘This will do perfectly.’

She smiled and nodded as Ben handed her a handful of credits and tucked the hair piece into his trouser pocket. He continued eating and began his final turn around the market when he paused, sensing something strange. It made his heart lurch, as if seeking something out and he rubbed at his chest. Heading back to the Falcon, he found his dad bartering over fuel and Chewbacca tying down the cargo in the hold. Even then, the feeling persisted and he moved down the ramp again, trying to figure it out. 

Eventually Han agreed on a price for fuel, looking annoyed. 

‘You ate four sticks and didn’t save me one?’ Han complained.

Ben shrugged and his dad moved over to the food stall to get his own. That’s when Ben saw them. A figure moving in the crowd, hood up and something in their hand. A small droid flew overhead and his hand reached automatically to the inside of his jacket, before dropping to his blaster. 

The figure drew closer to his father and then reached out, though Ben had pulled his gun free, firing it at them. He was a good shot, so when the bolt missed, he was momentarily confused. The person he’d fired at stumbled backwards, though found their feet and looked to him. They were masked. 

Han was running towards him with his gun out and Ben watched his back, his gun cocked and aimed, considering whether the person had been a simple pickpocket or someone with a more nefarious purpose. 

Then before Ben could think about what was happening, he was knocked to the floor; his gun skittering across the ground; a hand at his throat; and a fist flying towards him with force. The hit landed, dizzying him and he rolled sharply, knocking the person off him. The world spun as he looked up, seeing a Mandalorian helm, and beneath the cloak they wore, a Mudhorn signet etched on their threadbare chestplating. At the size of them, they were probably barely out of childhood. 

Ben rallied himself to standing, tasting blood in his mouth, though noting that his father had made it back to the Falcon and the engines were starting up. 

A sword came at him then and Ben barely avoided the sharp vibrating edge, feeling a wisp of hair leaving him as he went about evasively maneuvering past what was clearly the latest in a line of bounty hunters they’d encountered. Though it had never been a Mandalorian before, he was sure of that. Even still, Ben didn’t remove his lightsaber, knowing that it would cause unwanted attention, especially when he was already brawling in a spaceport. 

‘I think this is getting a little out of hand,’ Ben said with a huff, jumping over a low swing. ‘Talking is usually my go to when it comes to getting what I want.’

There was no reply, just static breathing and Ben’s eyes scanned, looking for a weakness in the Mandalorian’s stance. Their armour was practically non-existent below the chest, so he imagined that if he could get it in, a kick to the groin or stomach would probably disable them long enough to make it onto the Falcon. 

He waited, looking for his in and moved inwards. He was surprised to find the kick countered by a palm, though it meant that the attacker’s vibroblade clattered to the floor, leaving the pair of them empty handed for the moment.

Ben saw they were ready to reach for the rifle at their back, and he moved in, swinging a fist and dodging one. It was horribly like dancing with how they knew each other’s moves, able to navigate around them, both trying to get a hit in with very little effect. Ben’s fist glanced off their shoulder, which hurt him more than he thought it would, and then he was kneed in the stomach. He decided on brute strength then, knocking them both to the ground, thighs straddling the bounty hunter’s stomach, hands on one of their wrists, the other trapped under his stomach. His eyes dropped to the insignia on their shoulder – a Mudhorn – and he tried to remember where he’d seen it before, before his attacker spoke. 

‘Get off me.’ 

He blinked, noting the pitch and then his eyes were drawn down and he could see the soft curve of her breasts beneath the chest plating. Her wrist was small, easily eclipsed by his grip and he almost let go, feeling suddenly apologetic. 

‘What do you want?’ He asked.

She huffed and then he felt the tip of a knife against his stomach, and she didn’t hold back, it dipped into him, breaching his skin, and he gasped, feeling blood dribble and soak into his jumper. 

‘I was going to start with wanted smuggler Han Solo, but it seems like I can triple my bounty with you all here.’ 

Ben huffed, holding her still, though he pulled back, trying to get away from the knife. 

‘Not if the authorities get you in binders for causing a mess.’

Her laugh was melodic, tinny coming through her mask. ‘I’d have to be caught.’

‘I’ve got you right now.’ 

‘Have you?’ she questioned. 

It wasn’t the knife, which was what Ben expected, but the droid. A sharp sting rang up and down his spine from a factory-issue stun. He flopped to the side, legs spasming, as Ben attempted to fight it with the Force.

The woman moved towards the Falcon and Ben managed to trip her with a twitch of his hand, and she hit the ground hard, the sound of pinged metal as the base of her helm caught her fall. She shrieked and Ben stumbled, rallying his energy to fight the stun. 

The Falcon began pulling away from the spaceport and she staggered up, moving quickly towards her ship. He hesitated, knowing he should run for the Falcon. It would have been easier to evade her in a ship, yet Ben didn’t, and made the foolish decision of following after her, tripping her once more. 

She turned to face him and he suddenly felt the full force of her emotions, her frustration, and undeniably, the lifeblood itself of the Force, flowing through her veins. She was drenched in it, and Ben was surprised that he hadn’t felt it as soon as she had touched down. Then she paused and turned to him, and it seemed as if the world fell away for a moment, as Ben realised she recognised it too.

‘Get out of my way.’ 

And he smiled. Wide and almost half-crazed, because of course the first bounty hunter that put up enough of a fight would be just as strong with the Force as he was. This was a fight he couldn’t win holding back and being diplomatic. 

The Falcon hovered, and he knew Chewie and his dad were watching him, considering, and Ben knew it already. He could feel his father’s decision made and he laughed outright, gut-busting laughter. 

‘What’s wrong with you?’ She asked sharply. 

And then the Falcon was speeding away and the pair of them were still on the ground, a multitude of people watching them. 

‘No no no no,’ she panicked, and she was running back to her ship, but then so was Ben. He was running after the bounty hunter instead of running the other way. He knew well enough why his father had left – because Ben was more than capable of getting himself out of this – yet it didn’t annoy him any less. 

When she boarded, he boarded with her. She realised, turning around sharply and looking at him with incredulity. 

‘I can’t let you follow,’ he said simply. 

‘I am going to kill you.’

Ben paused, and shook his head. ‘I don’t think you will.’ 

A hollow groan slipped from his lips, and Ben fell to his knees once more, muscles straining and throbbing as the droid stunned him again, and again, and again, until his vision went spotty and then everything went black. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love guys! :D

Rey looked down at the man, unconscious at the top of the boarding ramp. Most of his thick black hair covered his unexpectedly angular features. 

It had been his face that had given Rey pause, distracting her long enough to find herself on her back with him over her. She had felt overwhelmed by the Force; it had drowned out the noise of the port until she could only hear her filtered breathing, and his. Her eyes had scanned his face in that moment, taking in the plush curve of his mouth, the moles splattered across his pale skin and the warm whiskey colour of his eyes. She’d felt his gaze on her, on her chest and he’d stilled as if shocked, which had given her an opening to free herself. 

Her hesitation and the goosebumps that had strewn over her skin under his eyes filled her suddenly with embarrassment. It was a humorous reminder that due to her lack of experience with boys this was exactly the kind of situation her brother had talked about happening. Coaxed into placidity by a pair of pretty eyes, lost in them for long enough to let her guard down. 

It was good it hadn’t been a real fight, or Rey feared she would be dead or heavily injured. The bolt he’d shot at her should have hit her, and when he’d overcome her, even for a moment, he had been able to kill her. 

She knelt down beside his prone form, removing her glove and holding her finger beneath his nose, satisfied when she felt his warm breath against the appendage. Her brow furrowed and she pushed some of his hair back before realising herself, straightening and reaching into her jacket pocket. The tracking fob still blinked as if this were her target, when she knew better. 

Han Solo was a formidable smuggler who had been evading authorities and bounty hunters alike for decades, and she’d almost had him. It hadn’t been as hard as she expected to find him, yet now she saw what had made him so clearly difficult to catch.

The young man at her feet.

She wasn’t blind enough not to notice the similar features they shared. This must have been Han Solo’s child, and he had been willing to be abandoned for his father. To be sacrificed for his father.

Rey shook her head softly, giving him one last glance before shutting the entrance ramp. 

TK-31 had already returned, carrying her sword and the man’s blaster. He sat behind her, chirping with interest, asking what bounty she had found. 

‘I don’t think this counts as fulfilling the bounty,’ Rey murmured in response.

The man shifted, but Rey sensed he was still unconscious. She turned him over, and he flopped onto his back. Her eyes parsed over him, the black material of his clothing, the sabaac dice at his throat, and the petulant pout of his lips. It was almost comical. 

Rey’s eyes dipped lower, seeing that his jumper had rolled up his stomach; revealing flat, blood-smeared planes of muscle at his waist, and the small cut she had given him still bleeding. 

‘What are we supposed to do with him, TK? Use him as bait?’ Rey furrowed her brows. ‘Dad never went through hostage situations with me.’ 

TK suggested putting him in a trash compactor and she chuckled, shaking her head. 

‘Maybe he’ll sell out his dad for the betrayal?’ She considered. 

Rey moved forward, pulling the man up into a sitting position. She heard a tinkle of shifting metal and stopped, her hand drifting over his chest and her fingers catching on smooth metal. Reaching inside his jacket, she pulled the contraption free. 

Frowning, she turned it over in her hand, looking down the shaft and then shaking it.

‘You think this is a grenade?’ Rey asked.

TK beeped in the negative, and then his scanner was out and he was reading the schematics of the device. 

‘Lightsaber?’ Rey asked for confirmation. ‘What? Like a Jedi?’ 

TK agreed.

She turned it over again, and then found the power switch. It flicked awake, the blue light bright and heat emanating immediately from it. Her fingers were close to touching it, when a voice interrupted her thoughts. 

‘Careful with that.’ 

‘You don’t stay down for very long,’ she muttered. 

He shrugged, squinting at her in what Rey guessed was pain. 

‘Since I’m not your bounty, are you going to let me go?’ He questioned.

Rey stood, attaching the lightsaber to her hip and shaking her head. ‘Nah, you’ll come in use I think.’ 

She could feel the discomfort in him immediately and she crouched again, looking into his face with interest. Rey could read him even better than her brother, which baffled her. She imagined she could cycle through all her helm’s sensors and still not figure out what the Force was trying to tell her. 

‘Did you steal this weapon?’ She asked, gesturing to the lightsaber. 

‘What do you think?’

Rey smiled, knowing he couldn’t see the expression. This is when she loved wearing a helmet. The anonymity of her identity; of her emotions. 

‘I would have thought that someone with a lightsaber would actually use said lightsaber.’ 

‘Maybe I wanted it to be a fair game,’ he responded, a smirk on his lips.

‘Hmm,’ she considered. ‘I should have expected you’d be the type. Trying to talk your way out of a bounty?’ 

‘I know what you’re thinking,’ he responded automatically. ‘You won’t catch Han Solo.’ 

Rey cocked her head, looking down at the blood on his stomach. ‘And perhaps you’ll change your mind, and reconsider where your loyalties lie,’ she murmured. ‘Now let’s get you up and comfortable. Tell me about yourself.’

He huffed and resisted, though Rey did manage to get him onto a hover cart, then across the ship, and locked into her brig. It was small, probably too low for him to stand in comfortably, but there was a small cot, a half-walled off toilet and sink. It also had five alarmed locks, so unless he could somehow get through them all in one thought, Rey would be alerted, and the small room would fill with a knock-out gas. 

Rey had always planned on being hospitable when she became a bounty hunter, so she felt that was reflected in her choice of imprisonment. 

TK had been kind enough to put the ship on auto-nav and it took them out into space, where they drifted while Rey watched the young Solo carefully.

‘What do you expect will happen here?’ He asked. 

Rey shrugged and pulled up a chair outside of the cell. He sat cross-legged on the floor, a furrow in his brow. She could feel him cycling through ideas on how to get out, and Rey waited. 

‘I don’t want to hurt you, I know you are untrained in the Force.’ 

‘Is that so?’ She quipped.

He hesitated for a beat, before continuing. ‘I could teach you, you know? It’s not much, but your power...it would be a waste if you couldn’t utilise it.’ 

‘Like this?’ Rey questioned, lifting a hand and raising the glass of water she had left beside him in the cell. She flicked her fingers and water splashed against his face. 

‘The Force is more than parlour tricks,’ he said through gritted teeth, wiping water from his face. 

Rey nodded. ‘I’m well aware of that, you don’t have to explain it to me.’ 

‘If you know so much, then why are you here?’ 

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ 

He looked to the ceiling. ‘No one as Force sensitive as you is out of danger. Your clan cannot protect you forever, Mandalorian.’ 

‘That sounds like a threat.’ 

‘Do I seem like a threat to you?’

Rey knew he wasn’t. He’d had a weapon and hadn’t pulled it on her. Even if he was protecting his father, he seemed to honest. 

‘Then tell me, tell me what I should be avoiding.’ 

He smiled, and it wasn’t particularly malevolent, even though Rey was more than aware that he had her caught. She didn’t know anything. She’d lived on Dantooine as far back as could remember, which was the majority of her life, and even when her father had taken her on bounties, they’d been home within days. He went without her more times than with, and Rey felt uncomfortable that she couldn’t protect her brother from an unseen terror he seemed to imply. Her brother was a child, and her father was sure he still would be before she was middle-aged. The thought frightened her. What would her brother do when their father passed? When she passed? 

‘Why are you scared?’

The voice; warm and quiet, jolted Rey and she looked to the smuggler, frowning. His ability to read her emotions so well, despite her helm, worried her.

‘I’d prefer if you didn’t read my emotions.’ 

‘I am struggling to avoid them.’ His expression turned sour again, and Rey could sense the truth in his words. His eyes met hers, and she hesitated, because he shouldn’t have been able to. Not with her helmet on. ‘I felt something strange when I saw you. Even before I saw you, I’d felt it and I...I’ve never had it be like that.’

‘Had what be like that?’ 

His mouth worked and he pulled a rough hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know.’ 

‘Tell me where your father will be. You can say your goodbyes; I’ll give you that much.’ Rey said, changing the subject quickly. 

He sighed, glancing away for a moment. ‘This won’t work.’ 

Rey straightened her shoulders, deepening her breaths to relax the erratic pace her heart had taken. ‘Then I can’t let you go.’

‘You won’t be able to keep me here forever.’ 

She smiled. ‘Your father will mess up.’ 

A muscle in his cheek twitched and he stood, walking the cell before stopping at the thick glass door. ‘I’ll tell you anything you need to know, except that. You understand loyalty, don’t you, Mandalorian?’ 

‘I have a code of honour, yes, but no matter how much you try to play games with me, there is a reason why you are in that cell.’ 

He huffed and went to the cot, lying down on it. 

Rey’s lips shifted, unable to stop herself from smirking at the petulant action before she left him to his sulking. 

**#**

The prisoner of a Mandalorian. 

Ben shut his eyes, deciding on meditating – despite it being his least favourite pastime – because this would require more thought than he had originally considered. 

His mind was a mess and his body shuddered with phantom aches. He’d never been stunned so many times and when he’d first come around, he’d barely been able to move his arms. Even his head had felt heavy. 

Ben knew he’d put himself in this situation by following the woman onto her own ship, and he’d foolishly thought she’d be less prepared than she was. That was where he’d made his first mistake, in what he expected would be a long line. He couldn’t see her face, he didn’t know how old she was; she could have been doing this for the last thirty years.

Yet Ben knew it wasn’t true. Like a reflex he felt like he knew more than he did. That she was young, human, strong with the Force. Untrained, yet trained. Wild. 

His hands awkwardly tucked into his armpits as he glowered at the ceiling. Ben stayed like that, not meditating, just staring at the ceiling before he felt her presence and she was standing by the glass door of the brig again, looking at him.

‘Do you think your father had a plan when he decided to leave you?’ She questioned. 

‘Probably not,’ he responded honestly. It wasn’t like lying would have made a difference or not. 

She was quiet for a moment. 

‘Not the Mandalorian way, I suppose?’ He questioned. There wasn’t any insult in his voice, even though he’d originally had the intention of adding it. 

She shook her head. ‘Though I was blessed with a singularity for a father. I have never met a man of his type, so I try not to expect much from other men.’ 

Ben laughed, sitting up, and thankful that he had full function of his limbs back. ‘Sounds like your father was more interested in scaring you off men than anything else. You sure he’s not watching you right now, Princess?’ 

‘Princess?’ She hesitated, her tongue turning over the word, and Ben could feel her confusion.

‘How old are you?’ He asked, approaching the glass. ‘Old enough to know the realities of the galaxy yet? Or still living under the sheltered wing of your father?’ 

‘I can see you are trying to rile me up, but it will not work.’ 

Ben shook his head, watching her carefully. Glass was all that separated them, and he stared her down, trying to intimidate her through her mask. ‘You can admire your father, sure. But don’t be blind to what he keeps from you.’

‘You do not know my father,’ she answered simply. ‘Do not displace your own feelings on my relationship with my father. Not when I can see that yours has abandoned you.’ 

He felt something snap in him, and his nostrils flared, because this wasn’t the first time. His father had sent him to Luke without batting an eyelid; had left him behind, and had lied to his mother to keep him from her, and only now did Ben really consider it as something beyond his father’s own personality. 

Her chin raised and her shoulders straightened. ‘Your father does not trust you, does he?’ 

‘Why wouldn’t he trust me?’ Ben barked back, face red. 

She shrugged. ‘He is your father, not mine.’ The Mandalorian disappeared, leaving her flying droid to watch him. The droid took a seat on the chair and beeped idle threats on occasion. 

Ben decided to down the water that remained in the glass by his side and then lay back on the cot again, breathing and trying to settle his anger. It was a reminder of why he had left Luke – Jedi training had been easy, but it always felt wrong. It made him feel out of control, like a puppet being pulled by strings, and even his uncle would give him strange looks on occasion, as if Ben would suddenly snap.

So he left. And after six years, Ben fully believed everyone was better for it. 

He eventually slipped into sleep, trying to free himself of his frustration. When he was out of here, he’d join the Resistance, he’d do something else if that fell apart too. He’d find...something. 

Ben woke in a field. 

He blinked against the sunlight and looked about himself as he sat up. Surrounded by wildflowers; knee high and brightly coloured, he could feel the Force hum away beneath his hands; warm and nurturing. 

‘Ben!’

Eventually he stood, looking around for the source of the voice. His eyes focused on a farmhouse a mile away, and he began walking, revelling in the soft sunshine. It had been a while since he’d last been somewhere this bright. Everyday at the temple had been like this, Ben supposed that was the singular thing he missed.

When he reached the house, he knocked briefly, though the door swung open easily. 

‘Hello?’ He murmured, looking around the door frame.

The sweet smell of berry tarts wafted through the home and Ben smiled, entranced. 

Shutting the door behind him, he went to investigate further, finding the small pastries cooling on the side. He took one, still hot, and he popped it into his mouth, grinning at its familiar sweetness. 

‘Did you just eat one of my tarts?’ 

He swallowed quickly and turned around shaking his head. ‘What tarts?’ 

A woman stood in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes narrowed. She was young – younger than him he expected, with freckles and dark brown hair tied into buns and braids, and dressed in a peach-coloured dress. She reminded him of the wildflowers. Ben searched his memory for her, but he had no idea who she was. Though what he felt when he looked at her was wholly familiar. 

‘Okay, yes.’ He admitted, looking chastised.

She didn’t say anything for a moment, and then she was chuckling and shaking her head. ‘Considering you made them, you do take it far too seriously when I claim them for my own.’

The young woman reached past him for a tart, and chewed on it happily. Ben just watched her in silence, not quite sure what to say. There was something about her that seemed comfortable and warm. 

‘Who are you?’ He asked. ‘Have we met before?’ 

She cocked her head to the side, confused. ‘Hit your head again, have you?’

Ben frowned and intended to ask again, when the dream began to curve away from him, reality pulling him back. 

It was a moment before he realised where he was, and he groaned, rolling over on the cot to face the wall.

‘You’re not hungry, then?’ The Mandalorian’s modulated voice was far more chipper than Ben expected. ‘Are you that comfortable in there?’ 

He sat up, huffing and looking at her. She had a bowl of food in her hand that she took out of view and after several seconds, a chute had opened beside his head, depositing the bowl into his hands. 

‘Eat up, we’ll have to keep you big and strong for your dad.’ She mocked. 

‘Oh Force, I can’t wait to get out of here.’

She chuckled. ‘What? You’re going to ruin my day?’ She questioned. ‘Though do remember that I have your lightsaber.’ 

Ben glared and spooned some of the food into his mouth. It was good, though he had no idea what it was.

‘How’s the cut I gave you?’ 

He hadn’t thought about it, so for a moment he didn’t know what the woman was talking about. She gestured to her own stomach, and he put down the bowl and lifted his jumper. His stomach was smeared with dried blood, and the bleeding had stopped, but it probably needed cleaning. It wasn’t absolutely terrible. 

‘You gonna clean me up?’ 

She was silent for a moment and then shook her head and disappeared. When she returned, she had medical supplies that she pushed through the chute. ‘I probably should have patched you up before I put you in there,’ she admitted. ‘I’ll apologise for that.’

‘Now whoever heard of a hospitable bounty hunter?’ He questioned aloud.

The Mandalorian scoffed. ‘You’re the criminal, not me, so there’s no need for the sarcasm. It won’t score you any points.’ She sat down across from him in the chair that at some point, the droid had left. ‘I looked you up in the system to see if you had a bounty too.’

‘Did you find one?’ He asked, not able to stop the grin on his face, knowing she would have found nothing. It was his proudest achievement of late. 

She shook her head, and tapped the chin of her helmet. ‘You must be very good. With that much talent, I’m surprised you’d work with someone like Han Solo.’ 

‘Well somebody has to keep him out of trouble.’ 

He scooped another spoonful of food into his mouth, before he pulled his jacket off and then his jumper over his head. Ben looked over his injury with a frown, and took out the antiseptic wipes, beginning to clean the blood away. 

‘Was your knife clean?’ He asked. When she didn’t reply, he looked up and she was still, staring at him, though he wasn’t quite sure at what. ‘Uh, hello?’

She spluttered and shook her head. ‘Yes, I hadn’t used them yet.’ 

Ben smirked. Now that was something universal. At least he knew he hadn’t suddenly lost his attraction since being in this cell. He reached for a small bacta patch and attached it to his stomach, before reaching for the bowl again and beginning to eat once more.

‘You’re not going to put your clothes back on?’ she asked. 

He tilted his head. ‘Why?’

Then she was walking away again, and Ben laughed, thinking this entire thing was ridiculous. 

**#**

_ Why? _

A simple question and Rey didn’t have an answer to it. Not one that wasn’t absolutely embarrassing and exposed her absolute naivety. 

_ Oh, I’ve never seen a man naked before – well not really. School books and holos didn’t count.  _

_ This makes me uncomfortable – looking at your naked torso. It makes me feel strange.  _

_ I don’t like how you can read me, and you know how to do it so well. It’s been less than ten hours, this isn’t normal.  _

And Rey was annoyed with herself in more ways than one, because this did nothing to disprove the fact that maybe her father _ had _ sheltered her. Even if it was to protect her, she didn’t know anything other than how to fight, how to hunt, and she supposed, how to cook. 

Sighing, she sat at the ship’s controls, looking up at the stars. Rey hadn’t decided on a destination yet, so enjoyed the simplicity of drifting in space, aimless. 

TK dropped down in the spare chair at her side. She smiled, rubbing his metallic head. 

‘Maybe I should have rebelled a bit more when I was younger,’ she murmured. ‘I feel like I don’t know anything sometimes. What’s the point of knowing all of the planets in a system, if you don’t know what the people are like? I know the difference between a Human and a Zeltron, but nothing meaningful. Do Zeltrons get married? What’s one of their favoured dishes? Do they fall in love?’ 

‘I can help you,’ TK chimed. 

Rey chuckled. ‘It’s not the same when you haven’t lived it.’ 

The comms went off and Rey leant forward, looking over the transmission signature and pressing accept. A holographic image of her father appeared, and Rey smiled tightly. 

‘How is it going?’ He asked. There was no particular emotion in his tone, so he likely suspected that there weren’t any issues. 

‘Setting a trap.’

Din was silent for a moment, before he cleared his throat. ‘You don’t need my help?’ 

Rey chuckled. ‘I’m fine, father. I haven’t got a scratch on me, and my brig is working perfectly.’

‘Then who’s the trap for?’ He asked quickly, and Rey hesitated, realising she had fumbled. It took too long for her to answer, and she could hear his breathing deepen. ‘What bounty did you take, Rey?’ 

She swallowed, glad he wasn’t standing in front of her, because Rey knew he’d be able to sense her trepidation. ‘The Solo bounty.’ 

He groaned. ‘I knew I should have gone with you.’ 

‘I’m more than capable of doing this on my own,’ she retorted, annoyed by her own father’s sudden frustration. ‘Regardless, I cannot grow without failure.’

He scoffed. ‘Failure means death.’ 

Rey was silent, trying not to slip directly into anger, into rage. ‘Thank you for your support, father. Let’s hope that if I fail, I don’t perish as well. I can’t imagine remembering those words will be satisfying for you.’ She ended the transmission, her hand in a fist as she tried to temper her own tears. 

This was her bounty, it was her responsibility. She had chosen to take the Solo bounty because of the challenge. What use was all her training if she wasted it? 

‘Mandalorian, I’ve finished.’

Rey frowned but trudged towards the back of the ship, stopping suddenly several metres away from the glass doors of the brig.

He’d removed his trousers and was sitting on the edge of the cot in just his underwear, the Sabacc dice necklace falling between the wide planes of his mole-covered chest. She swallowed and her eyes darted away.

‘Put your clothes back on,’ she commanded. 

He snorted. ‘Why? What are you going to do? Make me?’ 

She laughed, incredulous. ‘So you’re going to be ridiculous, is that it? What do you want from me? Do you want me to hurt you?  _ You _ got onto  _ my _ ship, remember?’

He worked his jaw and stood. There was something in his hand. 

‘You’re angry,’ he said simply, standing too close to the glass. ‘And not because of me. No, I make you nervous,’ he added with a huge smile. ‘If you let me out, we can have a nice heart to heart.’ 

Rey took several breaths, trying to cool her temper, trying to settle her stuttering heart, which was difficult when she could see so much of his pale skin, and his moles were everywhere. And his body was so… 

He was exhausting and confusing her, and Rey hadn’t considered that he would try and do this, that he would be capable of it. But whatever ability he had that meant he could read her with the Force so well, made her controlling the situation all the more impossible. 

‘When you looked my father up, what did you find out about me?’ His voice was even, his expression still. 

Rey swallowed, straightening her stance. ‘Nothing – you weren’t there.’ 

He huffed and chuckled. ‘So you know nothing about me and you’ve got me in this cage?’ He questioned. ‘Isn’t that dangerous?’ 

‘Stop it.’

‘Your father didn’t teach you better than that?’

‘Stop speaking.’ Her tone was sharper this time and Rey felt tears prick at her eyes, still angry at her father and angry at herself, because maybe she was in over her head. 

‘Hey, look at me, I know you aren’t.’ 

Rey did, despite every muscle in her body resisting doing so. Something tumbled off a shelf behind her and when Rey turned, the room was a mess. She’d gotten too angry. 

‘Please, leave me alone.’ 

Her eyes lifted to his again, and she could feel him there, trying to gain purchase in her own mind. Not via some grand invasion, but tentatively. His eyes met hers in that strange way again, as if he could see beyond her helmet; and he was in her mind, not searching, just there. And so she did the same, seeing into his, like fingers smearing the condensation on glass after a shower. Clearing away the fog and taking a look at what lay on the other side. His mind felt so similar to her own; she felt his anger, almost mirroring hers, and it wasn’t at anything in particular, it was just always present, festering. 

‘What’s your name?’ He asked, and she didn’t need to answer, because he found it, and he took it in his hands, cradling it like a little bird. His own mind repeated her name over and over and over. 

‘Then tell me yours,’ she returned. 

And she knew. Ben.  _ Ben.  _

Rey stepped back, breaking their gaze and closing herself away, pushing him out and retreating. 

‘Let me go, Rey.’ 

She was crying, tears filling her helmet. 

‘I won’t. I will do this.’ 

‘I won’t lose my father,’ he murmured in response. ‘It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t trust me, it doesn’t matter if he left me here.’ 

Rey half-turned away, because she knew what he felt. It made her chest tighten, and she felt his own torment, just like her own. Though hers was phantom, beyond her father, beyond to the before. The before she couldn’t remember, but knew: A family who had left her, who had abandoned her. 

She shook her head. ‘You will leave when I have Han Solo.’ 

‘I don’t want to hurt you.’ 

The words were surprising and then she saw why; because he had lifted his hand and he slammed it against the glass. The door cracked and split, shattering. The alarms went off, the brig filling with knock-out gas and a metal door closing in its place. Rey was stunned, her eyes on the door, smashed glass everywhere. 

‘TK,’ she shouted.

The droid was already behind her and he began to clear away the glass. Rey dialed through to the brig controls and through to the security camera in the corner, where she could see that Ben was unconscious, his blood covering the floor. 

She sighed softly, opening the hatch and stepping through. He’d fallen into the glass and she reached for his hand, a bar of metal tight in his grip. It took a soft knead on the pressure point in his arm and the metal dropped to the floor. Rey lifted it, turning it over and snorting. 

Beskar. 

Tucking it into her pocket, she set about pulling Ben up onto the cot. It took some coaxing with the Force to do it, but she had him up and took the medical pack into her hands, beginning to clear the myriad of cuts; both deep and shallow, that now littered his body. 

TK came through, clearing the glass away before the hatch shut behind him once it was done. Rey sighed, Ben balanced in her lap as she looked at the walls, her hand against his temple. 

He was dreaming, of what she wasn’t sure. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter guys! :D Feel free to drop a line if you have anything to say. LOL.

The woman was there again. Pulling a fishing net from a small lake, releasing the smaller fish and placing the larger into a pail at her side. Ben watched her for a long time, his back resting against a tree some distance away. The sunlight caught in her hair as she worked. Eventually she noticed his presence and waved him over excitedly. 

He stood and approached, quite wary. Ben worried at the fact that he didn’t know her. 

The one thing that his uncle had never stopped talking about was the temptation of the darkside. How it could call with the warmest of open arms, all as a distraction to its true aims.

This could be the darkside, even though this woman felt like nothing but goodness. 

‘Were you just going to watch me forever?’ She asked. 

Ben shook his head, finding that he was smiling. 

‘Fish pie is sounding really good,’ she murmured as she pulled the rest of the net out and began folding it. 

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he murmured. 

She looked at him with a frown. ‘You look like you want to kiss me.’

‘I want to kiss you.’ 

She stood, stepping away from him, and he did not follow, he only watched her. Then she was melting away again and Ben blinked, his eyes opening, and he thought he saw her again, but then it was a helmet. An upside down Mandalorian helmet, and his head was resting on something warm – her lap. 

‘You could have hurt yourself badly,’ Rey commented, her voice heavy and tired. Her bare fingers were in his hair; gently resting at his temples.

‘I think you’re in my dreams.’ 

Rey scoffed, the helmet making the sound harsh. ‘Your strange attempts to confuse me with seduction are noted.’ 

‘Show me your face and we can confirm.’ His body was tired, and he could just about lift his head. Ben knew he could still channel the Force like this, but he had no idea what he would do with it. 

‘You’re quite strange,’ she commented casually. 

Ben realised that her fingers were held in places where she could easily disable him once more, so he just sighed, looking up at her. 

Her gaze was on the metal door that had replaced the glass. ‘You destroyed my beautiful brig,  _ Ben _ .’ 

‘You have me trapped,  _ Rey _ .’ 

Rey nodded, humming to herself. ‘We have well and truly reached an impasse. I’m not after you, just your father. Do you not wish him punished enough to leave him to me?’ 

He snorted softly, closing his eyes, and pretending that their current position was happening elsewhere. Perhaps on a beach. ‘Find another bounty. My father may seem hopeless, but he is dangerous.’ 

‘Hmm,’ he could practically hear the smile in the soft sound. ‘I’m sure I could handle him. I’ve handled you, haven’t I?’ 

‘I would like to see your face.’ 

‘In your dreams.’ 

Ben huffed. ‘Very well.’ He closed his eyes, prepared to fall asleep once more. ‘If we are at an impasse, then I won’t try to escape. My dad won’t come after me and we’ll be stuck here forever. Well at least until you decide to give up on this bounty.’ He then blinked, smirking. ‘And considering how well you’re taking this all, I suppose clothes won’t be compulsory.’

‘If you take off one more item of clothing, I will hurt you.’ 

‘Well I’ll be here for a while, so I should probably get comfortable.’ 

Rey didn’t respond and Ben could feel her considering something, before she laughed, off-kilter. ‘I’m sure my father will come long before that, and that will absolutely not end well, most likely for either of us.’ 

‘He’ll lock you away in your beskar tower, Princess?’ 

‘You joke, but he’d probably drop you in the middle of Nar Shaddaa, naked as the day you were born. No bounty? Then you’re just trash to throw out.’ 

Ben smiled. ‘Good thing I was trained in the Force, then, isn’t it? I doubt your father can fight my power like you can.’ 

Her hand stilled and tightened on his neck. 

‘What do you really know about the Force, Rey? Who taught you what you know, because they haven’t taught you enough.’

‘Maybe I don’t know much, but the Force is in everything. You don’t have to go to a school to figure that out, not when the Force can tell you itself.’ She paused, and her body relaxed again. ‘You can’t meditate, can you?’ 

Ben swallowed, and avoided replying. 

‘Now that’s something I could teach you,’ she murmured. ‘You know if we weren’t at odds, I could imagine us being quite helpful to each other.’ 

He snorted. ‘If you weren’t a Mandalorian, I could imagine something quite different.’

‘I continue to be unsurprised by your responses.’ Rey stood, flopping his head onto the cot and moving towards the metal wall, watching him steadily. ‘The day there’s a fob with your name on it will be a fine day indeed.’ 

The door slid open, and before Ben could even move, it was shutting behind her and he groaned, a hand thumping at the durasteel wall by his cot. 

**#**

Rey set about making another meal. TK was recharging and it was easier to distract herself with cleaning up the mess she had made throughout the ship from her outburst as an attempt to avoid dwelling on Ben Solo.

He’d been out for hours and she hadn’t moved. Why hadn’t she moved?

There was an automatic pull she felt to him that went beyond simple attraction. She’d seen pretty men before, pretty women. But this. When he’d seen into her mind and she’d seen into his, it felt like a notch locking in, and it confused her, because now she felt conflicted about her own decisions. That perhaps she didn’t have to chase after Han Solo. And Rey considered that maybe she could account that to his influence, because he was right. He’d been trained in the Force, his abilities were beyond her own knowledge – he could be capable of anything, and she supposed that thought frightened her more than any potential attraction. He was an unknown quantity and she was beginning to feel as if she had caged a wild animal. 

She pulled at the screen in the small galley wall and flicked it on, the view of cameras around the ship popping up. He was sitting in the cell, cross-legged on the floor, clearly attempting to meditate, though he hit his thigh with a fist, clearly frustrated. 

Rey smiled beneath her helmet, quite amused. It’d been over twenty-four hours since she’d last removed it, and she hesitated before pushing the releases and pulling the contraption over her head. 

The skin of her face was dry and she could feel dried tear tracts uncomfortably sitting on her cheeks. Her hair needed washing, and she needed to eat and drink.

Sighing, Rey hurried about, swallowing down what stew she had left over from before and moving to the refresher.

Her shower was longer than it needed to be, but once she’d gotten out refreshed, she felt incrementally better. Her helmet and armour was back on soon after and she continued her efforts at making soup. 

Removing a stun gun from her cache and sliding it into her thigh holster, Rey slipped the food through the brig’s chute and opened the door once more. 

‘Joining me for dinner?’ Ben asked. 

‘If you want to see it that way,’ she answered.

He frowned, but took up the bowl and began to eat. He watched her over his spoon, though Rey remained still, her eyes on where he kept his arms and legs. 

‘You smell like blba flowers,’ he eventually commented, chewing on the root vegetables that Rey had included in the dish. ‘Dantooine, right?'

Rey scoffed. 'What do you hope to do with that information?'

'Well if you live there, that might be some valuable information.'

She rolled her eyes. 'So what? I get your dad and you're gonna come after me?' 

'Not everything has to be a threat. I've never met a Mandalorian before.' He said with a brief smile. 

'So you want to know about me?' She asked, mocking in her tone. 

Ben shrugged. 'It's not like I have anything to do here. You're my captor, remember?' 

Rey breathed. 'You really should try to stop victimising yourself.'

He smiled wide, and Rey frowned, his face too expressive and open – so easy to look at. 'Well you've got me for a while, so get used to it.' 

'I think it would be best if you didn’t act like this will be a positive experience for you.'

'Hmmm, you say that, but something is telling me that there’s more between us than Han Solo.’ 

‘Is that right?’ Sarcasm coated her tone and she crossed her arms across her chest. ‘Something you learnt from the Force during your last meditation?’ she mocked.

He narrowed his eyes, and if he was offended, he didn’t say the words. ‘We won’t be able to do this forever. Eventually you’re going to have to make your mind up about what you’re going to do with me.’ 

‘No need to worry about my plans, I can assure you that they are perfectly intact.’

Rey opened the door, exited and let it close behind her. Her lips pursed as she went through her next steps. If Han Solo really wasn’t going to come for his own son, then she’d need to start looking for him again. And it wasn’t a wholly daunting thought considering she had the beskar that he’d clearly left behind with Ben.

**#**

Ben stood, searching the pockets on his clothing for something he could use the next time Rey came into his cell. He was almost impressed by her own confidence in her cage that she’d willingly enter with him in it, yet he also was very aware of his own failings. 

He had nothing with him, and using the Force to lift the doors would only set off alarms and have him knocked out again, or potentially stunned. 

Dropping down onto the cot, he laid down, his hands across his chest as he counted backwards from one hundred, trying to think of some way to get out of this without involving his dad. Even Ben wasn’t stupid enough to think he could befriend his captor so that she’d let him go, regardless of the strange sensation he felt in the Force because of her. 

He’d originally thought the feeling was something else, but it stayed constant, and when they were the only living beings within thousands of miles, it was easy to concentrate on her, and her place in the Force. Though her inability to see it herself gave him doubts. 

Ben was sure it was her in those dreams, even if his thoughts were mostly unfounded, and merely based on the strange incompassing feeling that was so similar when he was awake. It felt the same with the woman in his dreams as it did with Rey. He’d know for sure if he saw her face, though Ben was more than aware that she’d never show it.

**#**

Rey couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. It had been two days since she’d last slept; consumed by the need to be constantly alert, especially with a prisoner aboard. But now she'd reached her limit.

Images and stars danced on her vision and she began to feel phantom aches in her body. 

Without a second crewman it was dangerous for her to sleep, yet she couldn't continue like this. 

Moving towards her bunkroom, she set her alarm system on auto and asked TK to be extra cautious while she prepared for a short sleep cycle. 

Keeping her helmet and armour on, Rey got into her cot, pulling the covers tight over her body and found herself quickly drifting away. 

There was something warm pressed against her stomach. Not against her skin, but over the rough material of her tunic. It moved, tracing up over her rib and then curved around her breast. Rey squirmed, fidgeting as warmth filled low in her belly. A warm puff of air hit her throat, and the neck of her tunic was being pulled to expose more of it. She arched into the touch, moaning lightly as lips pressed there, just beneath her helmet. 

A weight loomed over her, pressing her further into the cot, and then she felt a hand against her bare stomach, beneath her tunic. Rey wasn’t quite sure where her armour had gone, but she could only whimper as the hand dipped into her leggings and underwear, a finger running through her, spreading her wetness.

‘Please,’ she murmured, eyes still closed, curving towards the hand and— 

There was a sharp ring as Rey slammed forward, hitting her head against the frame of the cot. Stars ran across her vision and her head immediately ached at the force with which she had hit the rung with her helmet. 

Looking about her, she found she was still dressed in her armour, helmet still on but her underwear damp. Rey hissed under her breath, berating herself because this wasn’t usual, and the dream had felt so real. 

Her head ached, still ringing from the hit she had taken and she felt herself chill as if what she’d dreamed had really happened to her. It made her skin itch and she climbed out of the bed, glancing at the time and feeling some relief that she’d at least had six hours of sleep, regardless of the current state she sat in.

Taking a few more breaths, Rey went to the refresher and changed into a new pair of underwear and pants. She checked her armour in the mirror, and a forefinger traced the shape of the Mudhorn insignia on her shoulder. Feeling guilty over how she had ended their last transmission a standard day and a half before, she moved through to the front of the ship and dialled for a connection to her father. 

‘Where are you?’

She breathed out heavily, her helmet-covered-head in her hands, avoiding looking at her father’s holographic likeness. ‘Savareen system. I’m fine, don’t worry.’ 

‘You have a prisoner who isn’t your bounty. This is why I told you to install the carbonite unit.’ 

Rey sighed, finally looking up. ‘I have his son. I don’t think that’s an absolutely terrible catch, and I’ve told you how I feel about carbonite. It’s dangerous, and I don’t want to endanger real people.’ 

‘Sometimes death is unavoidable.’ 

She hummed, trying not to agree. That was the one thing she always resisted. Her father had killed people, and in front of her. He’d saved just as many, but he’d never been able to instill a killing gene into her. Rey avoided using her blaster on any setting other than stun, she preferred to fight with her hands, and even when her father had tried to teach her lethal manoeuvres, she had always pulled her strikes. 

Yet even for her, there had been times:

Fifteen. On a bounty through Wild Space and her father had said to stay on the ship. Her brother had been asleep when someone had come to try and take him. Their father had returned with Rey covered in the man’s blood, and a gash up her thigh. She considered the scar her penance for the death. 

Seventeen. She’d diverted a blaster bolt on reflex. It didn’t matter that it had hit the bounty, because Rey had still stayed up all night, shaken. Her father tried to calm her by saying the bounty was  _ Dead or Alive _ . He’d thought she was worried they’d miss out on the credits. 

‘I’m coming to you.’

She shook her head immediately, leaning forward. ‘No, I must do this on my own. I cannot be treated like a foundling forever.’ 

‘You are my daughter.’

‘And I was a foundling, just like you.’ Rey closed her eyes. ‘I know it’s different, but I must do this. I just wanted to call to apologise, because you have taught me better.’

He was silent for some time, making Rey stew in her own thoughts, before he nodded. ‘This is the way.’

‘This is the way.’ 

It was her father who closed the connection and Rey sat back in her seat, wondering what she would do next. She’d started up several searches on her system – searching for the Corellian YT Model freighter. Rey had created the software herself to assist her father in tracking ships that passed through surveilled hyperspace lanes, particularly those going through the Core worlds, so she trusted its efficiency.

Han Solo wasn’t the most subtle of criminals, he had just been proven difficult to pin down in a trap. He might have called it skill, though Rey knew it was plain dumb luck, combined with an incredibly talented and intelligent son. 

Rey found it laughable how different the two Solos were – how easily Han had left his own son, just based on the idea that the man was independent enough to get himself out of this mess. Either he thought too highly of his son, or far too lowly of any would-be captors. 

Though Rey was very aware of her own abilities, and she wouldn’t let two scoundrel Solos get in the midst of that. In the midst of her own glory and legacy.

She recalibrated some of her code and set the search running again, rubbing her hands together as she set on making herself and her prisoner some food. This time it was a rehydrated sandwich, barely palatable for her, so she knew Ben would hate it. 

Ben had decided to put his trousers back on when she entered his cell, his legs folded underneath him in his attempt at meditation. She watched him for several moments before he spoke. 

'Even real prisoners are let out to get some fresh air and exercise,' he complained. 

'You've been here for three days.'

Ben sighed and his eyes opened and slid up her body, cementing on where her eyes were. The look alone made her squirm in her armour, but it was him reaching out to her that unsettled her the most. The sensation like fingers made of pure Force energy tentatively asking for access to her mind, which she did not give, despite how soothing his attention felt. 

'Don't do that.' 

'Don't you feel that?' He questioned with interest. 

She shook her head again, ignoring the gentle tug he made as if he had her on the end of a thread. Rey watched him cautiously, realising she really did need to get rid of him, and considered maybe dropping him off at the nearest habitable planet. It would take him at least a few standard days to get back to his father, so she could strike during that time. His father was nearly hers anyway. 

‘Here, eat.’ She tossed him the sandwich.

He looked down at it, sighing heavily. ‘You didn’t want to try today?’

‘No,’ she couldn’t help her chuckle as he chewed unhappily. 

‘I thought we’d become friends.’ Rey scoffed, waiting to hear the rest of his thoughts. ‘I dreamed about you again.’

‘Hmm, is that so?’ She mocked. ‘What was I doing this time? Had you in a chokehold?’

Ben paused, swallowing and tilting his head from his position on the floor. ‘That’s not a bad visual if I have to be honest.’

Rey groaned and he beamed. 

‘I wish I could see the expression on your face. I bet it's excellent.’ 

‘It’s always surprising how many people are obsessed with seeing our faces. What is the need? I can be identified by my armour and my clan insignia. Is that not enough?’

Ben nodded. ‘Yes, but then where would we get the idea that people can fall in love in the six seconds it takes to hold a gaze?’

‘Where did you hear that?’ Rey asked, strangely interested, wondering why he would even say that to her. 

He smiled. ‘There was this girl I met. I didn’t know who she was, but I knew as soon as I saw her eyes that she was going to be important to me. That she was someone I needed to remember. Now even if I forget her face, I can still remember those eyes – hazel, thick lashes, always squinting against the sun.’

‘That’s a pretty way of thinking,’ Rey murmured in response, her brow narrowed, not quite sure knowing how to take this information. ‘But knowing someone, truly knowing someone without having seen their face is different. It’s you knowing their soul first, their spirit.’ 

Ben shook his head, his jaw set. He was disagreeing with her, and Rey was already raring to snap back at whatever he would say. ‘A Mandalorian can say that because loyalty is your creed, you believe in that without hesitation or preamble. But that’s a warrior’s mindset, and what does a warrior do when there is no war?’ 

Rey was silent, only having one answer. ‘They find one,’ she murmured, not quite sure why she said it out loud. 

‘I know you, Rey. I feel it here,’ he said, his hand pressed against his chest. ‘Even if this is a really questionable time to say it. But I know you don’t know me. You’re the one in the mask, yet you won’t see.’ 

She shook her head. ‘I can see you just fine.’ 

His smile was soft, unaffected. ‘You tell me to meditate, but maybe you should too.’ 

'You might think you dream of me, but it's just your imagination.' She squared her shoulders, humour in her voice. 

Ben breathed out slowly, his expression one of resignation. 'Then if you won’t listen to me, can you at least provide me with some entertainment?' 

**#**

The Mandalorian dropped an outdated datapad through the hatch, as well as a notebook with a pencil that had been chewed to death. There were a few drawings in the front done by a child's hand, and Ben looked at them with interest. 

Three people standing and holding hands: A man in Mandalorian armour, a little human girl with brown hair in three buns and a small green creature, Ben wasn't sure of what species. He looked familiar, though Ben wasn't quite sure why. 

The woman had been in his dream again. This time she'd had his lightsaber in her hands, turning it over as if unsure of what it was, though that was until she had flicked the power switch. After that it seemed an extension of her as she curved it through the air with practised ease. 

Ben had watched her in wonder, trying not to attract attention, as she seemed perturbed by him. Frequently ruffled and unsure about his presence. 

He chewed on the rest of his sandwich, turning over the datapad and flicking through the holonovels downloaded onto it. 

'Satisfied?' Her voice rang through the cell. 

'If I say that I have learnt my lesson, will you let me go?' 

She chuckled and was silent for a moment. 'I've decided to drop you off at the nearest port.' 

'Some ice planet?' He questioned. 

The metal door slid open and she stood on the other side, a stun blaster in her hand and her droid floating nearby. She didn't step inside however, and Ben stood, and grabbed the remains of his clothes, confused. 

'I've decided to be amicable if you are willing to cooperate.' She began. 'You were right, you aren't my bounty and even though we are obviously at odds, I am a Mandalorian of honour. Being honourable is letting you go and catching your father on my own merit. If you intervene, well I'll just have to overcome that, won't I?'

Ben listened, slowly nodding and watching her carefully. 

'So you are letting me out?'

The woman nodded. 'Though I will be forced to kill you if you attack me.' 

'I won't attack you,' he responded honestly, then smiled. 'Not when our fates are so deftly entwined.'

If he could see her expression, Ben knew she'd be rolling her eyes. 

'You were the one who shot first on Socorro.' She noted. 'You then broke my cell. Do you know how much it will cost to replace that?' 

Ben snorted. 'You haven't exactly returned that bar of beskar, have you?'

'Touché.'

He grinned, stepping over the threshold. Rey didn't shift. 'It could make a nice addition to your armour.' 

She didn't respond, just watched him move around her and look around the ship. She followed him as he explored, cautious about what he did and what he touched. 

'Mind if I shower?'

She shook her head and he stepped inside the refresher, shutting the door behind him. 

Ben was pensieve as he washed three days of grime off his skin and out of his hair. When he stepped out of the small shower cubicle, there was a spare change of clothes on the side, and he snorted as he felt the material between his thumb and forefinger. 

He hadn’t expected her hospitality and amicability to go so far, and it was almost enough to make him think that there wasn’t more. That she wasn’t avoiding giving him the entirety of her plan. 

After drying off, he pulled the grey-coloured change of clothes on – they were a little tight, but the material had enough give for it to still be comfortable. He found the small space-washer, and put his dirty clothes inside and slung his jacket over the machine. 

There was a plate of fresh fruit sitting on a surface in the small galley and he could see the Mandalorian sitting at the helm of the ship through the small opening in the wall, entering coordinates as they sped through hyperspace. He took up the plate and rounded the wall separating the cockpit and galley, watching her gloved fingers move. 

'Aren't you hungry?' He asked. 

'I will abstain while you are onboard.'

'You Mandalorians and your rules. I could close my eyes.'

She scoffed. 'You have that kind of restraint? You seem far too headstrong for that.' 

He winced, sensing a duality in her meaning. 'I'm not a scoundrel, despite what you think.' 

She laughed. 'Aren't Jedi supposed to be sterile? Is that why you failed at being one?' 

'I didn't fail,' he responded, annoyed. ‘Anyway, I didn’t think you’d be so interested in my exploits. Did my lack of clothes influence the direction of your thoughts?’ 

Rey huffed and tried to glance at him briefly, though paused. Ben guessed it was due to what he was wearing, because she looked him up and down quickly and then she was facing the viewport again. 

Ben didn’t have to read her emotions to know that she was discomforted by the direction the conversation could possibly go, so he decided to save her potential headache by changing course. 

'So where’s my lightsaber?' 

'You can have it back when I drop you off.' 

He nodded in understanding and watched her in silence for a moment more, trying to figure out what she was doing and where they were going. She seemed uncomfortable with him still watching over her shoulder, so he sat beside her, stretching out his legs. 

'I think you should see my uncle. He can train you. He can give you more than this.’ 

She paused and turned to him briefly, and Ben could feel how she tried to burrow deep within his words, to peel them apart as if he were trying to deceive her. Though there was no hidden meaning to find. ‘I want this,’ she murmured. ‘My father...my family. It is important to me.’ 

‘I can sense your dishonesty.’ 

‘Is that what your uncle taught you?’ She asked back, her voice raising.

Ben nodded slowly. ‘Sometimes a path opens for us, and we just need to recognise it.’ 

‘And what about you? You never plan on going back?’

He hesitated but then shook his head and fidgeted in the chair as his eyes went to a hangnail. ‘I was beyond help.’

‘What does that mean?’ 

He shrugged. ‘When I was younger I wanted to be a pilot. I begged my dad to take me on trips, to let me fly his ship, and then I did the same to my mom – begged her to put me in an X-Wing. But I couldn’t ignore my reality.’ Ben huffed, scratching his head and trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. ‘I was too hot-headed; I couldn’t control my power, I was dangerous to myself as well as others, so they sent me to my uncle to control it — and I did. I did, but then now...now I’m…’ He frowned and he could feel Rey’s eyes on him, watching him carefully. 

‘Now you’re—?’

‘Now I’m straddling a line. I felt alone at the temple; even surrounded I felt claustrophobic because my uncle’s expectations were overwhelming but he was constantly disappointed. When it’s just my dad and Chewie, it doesn’t feel as terrible, and I can pretend I’m not alone anymore. The voice telling me I’m making poor decisions gets drowned out when I’m not stuck in one place, when I’m not meditating.’

A strange silence settled over Rey and she turned her chair fully, leaning forward with her arms resting on her knees. ‘You are frightened?’

Ben nodded. 

‘Of what?’ 

He sucked in a breath. ‘My place in everything; the sensation of being trapped; this coaxing feeling that if I go back I’ll — something terrible will happen. And there’s times when I wake up, and I’m ready to go back, half-packed and everything, but then I put my things back down and feel like I’ve already avoided the world falling apart.’ 

‘The Force should be freeing.’ Rey murmured. ‘I’ve always thought that if you can find the Force, see yourself within it, then you shouldn’t have any reason to fear yourself. You tell me to recognise and follow my own path, yet you’ve seemed to diverge from yours.

Ben smiled then, feeling the truth of it stir poignantly in his chest. He shook his head and looked at her carefully. ‘No, I’m sure my path led me to you. I think that even in an alternate reality, if we’d have met, I’d have said the same thing.’

‘Why do you sound so sure about that?’ 

He shrugged, the smile not fading. ‘Something has just felt right since Soccoro. It’s probably why I followed you onto your ship – I didn’t even understand what I was doing at the time.’

She sighed softly, looking out of the viewport. ‘You should stop thinking there is more to this. It’s pointless to continue when I don’t feel the same.’

‘You really feel nothing?’ He asked, his brows furrowing. 

She nodded and slid out of her chair, standing up. ‘I also won’t let you make me forget what there actually is between us.’

‘A bounty?’ he huffed.

**#**

Rey nodded and watched him steadily for several moments, his eyes holding hers. Hers almost flickered elsewhere – to the soft curve of his lips, to the shining tips of his still wet hair, and the gentle shifting of his adam’s apple. All so distracting; enough that the vision of her daydream came crawling back. 

‘Have you decided where you’ill drop me off, then?’ 

She sighed, looking away and moving from the console to leave Ben sitting. ‘Somewhere you won’t be in too much danger.’ 

Surprisingly when Rey left him free reign of her ship – after hiding anything important – he was reasonably polite with her belongings. Even TK seemed to accept his presence with minimal resistance, and so Rey locked down the ship’s controls and went to her bunkroom to rest.

Ever since her eighteenth birthday, when Rey had first donned her helmet, her father had told her to wear it to sleep, saying that there would be times where she wouldn’t have a choice. She avoided doing so when she could, but with Ben roaming around, she supposed she couldn’t, so she sighed as she unstrapped her armour, tucked her blaster beside her and turned onto her side for a timed nap – an hour would have to do until she dropped Ben elsewhere. 

Rey slipped quickly into sleep, feeling the weight of stress fall away and she sighed gently, feeling lighter and relaxed. 

Shifting in her cot, Rey stilled when she realised her tunic was gone. Her hands ran up her stomach and to her neck and she moved to sit up, but stopped when hands slipped up her thighs. 

‘What—’ she started, but was cut off by a warm and wet press of lips against the inside of her thigh, and a weight pressed forwards on her legs. She felt the mouth smile and then she was squeezing the sheets in her hands as the mouth set itself at the apex of her thighs.

Rey moaned, the pleasure unexpected. A string of expletives fell from her lips as they curled their tongue inside of her and then licked and sucked at the bundle of nerves at her peak. Her fingers moved to feel a bare and expansive back and then soft hair slipped between her fingers. 

The muscles strained beneath her hands and she was pulled closer, her thighs falling over their shoulders. Rey felt the heady pull of her orgasm coming quickly, and her groans drew louder from her, her calves cramping as her toes squeezed—

Rey jolted, her body covered in sweat as she breathed heavily, eyes on the ceiling, the alarm beside her blaring loudly. 

Another dream that felt so tantilisingly real, and for reasons unknown to her. It was frustrating in more ways than one and she squeezed her hand into a fist, trying to figure out where it had come from. 

While she wasn’t a fool when it came to her own pleasure, this wasn’t something she had real experience in, so why did it feel like she did? Why did it feel like she knew what she wanted and needed and that it was within her reach?

Even still, as Rey tried to talk herself out of it, she could feel a swirling in her lower stomach that wouldn’t abate, and she reluctantly slipped her hand into her pants, taking a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her wetness. 

The dream had riled Rey up enough that it didn’t take much, and she stifled her own groan against her pillow, her toes and fingers curling in sweet relief and for a moment, her mind going blank to her current predicament and the phantom of her dream able to take a hold of her. Trailing wet kisses against her throat, her chest, and between her thighs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Me again!  
> Sorry for not responding to comments yet, I'll do it! I just am a mess. LOL.

Since her lapse of judgement, Rey resisted taking anymore naps in lieu of full sleep cycles, and was yet again nearing a standard day of no sleep just to avoid her dreams. 

Her biggest frustration was that Ben seemed to sleep peacefully. Whatever dreams he had, the ones he claimed to involve her, didn’t seem to rile him up at all, and he only looked at her more intently after them, clearly trying to identify her, and place her in his dreams. 

Rey felt eye bags beginning to pull down her cheeks, and her unwillingness to remove her helmet while he was out of the brig was beginning to make her irritable. 

Ben seemed to watch her continuously, and she knew he was wondering why they hadn’t stopped somewhere. Why she hadn’t thrown him off the ship yet, and Rey couldn’t even understand herself. Every time they had set on a hyperspace lane going toward a somewhat safe planet, she’d decided against it on reflex. 

‘I’m going to sleep,’ he said eventually when thirty-six hours had passed since she’d let him out of the cell. He paused and his eyes narrowed. ‘You can lock the door on the brig if you’re that frightened of eating when I’m around. The nutrient IVs are unnecessary.’

She worked her mouth, but didn’t say anything.

Ben had taken to washing up in the refresher and using the grey change of clothes she had given him to sleep in, and then changing into his own clothes – now clean and blood free – while he was awake. Rey would watch him do this – finding it peculiar that he had gotten into this pattern so quickly – and her heart only stopped thundering in her chest when he had crawled into the cot in the cell. 

Rey still waited until she could feel sleep descend over him before she closed the cell’s metal door and breathed out a sigh of relief. She removed her helmet, showered and ate two days worth of rations. By the time she was reviewing her search parameters for the Millenium Falcon, she was stuffed and nodding off in her seat, the soft whirring of her helmet lulling her into an unwanted sleep. 

‘Rey?’ 

She blinked, shifting. 

A deep chuckle. ‘Rey?’ The voice repeated her name. 

She hummed and concentrated on the nav calculations, her fingers flying across the keys as she stood, leaning over the comms panel. Rey found herself smiling at the approaching presence, though decided not to turn. Her smile widened when hands slid over her shoulders and lips pressed against her neck, beneath her helmet. 

‘So this is where you were hiding?’ The voice said against her skin. 

‘Working isn’t hiding,’ she responded. 

Fingers pulled the zip on her tunic down towards her navel, and then a hand slipped inside; warm and gently cupping her; a thumb drifting over her nipple and squeezing gently. Rey felt a clenching between her legs and she panted as lips dipped over her shoulder; the fabric being pulled away. 

‘You work too much.’ 

She grinned, lifting her hands away, and they slipped over the hands on her body. Straightening and leaning back slightly, she met resistance against a solid wall of muscle. 

‘Of course you would say that,’ she grinned. 

Hands were on her hips and she felt something hard press against her backside. 

‘I’ll try not to be offended by that.’ Another smile against her shoulder and the hands were beneath the skirt of her tunic, lifting the material and pulling down her leggings and underwear. She stumbled at the large expanse of the finger, but she was caught. ‘I would like to bend you over right here, though.’

She moaned, her hands falling to hold against the console. ‘I can’t complain about that,’ she whimpered, feeling another finger press into her and curl, making her cry out. 

Her hand reached back, feeling for the button holding back what she really wanted. Finding it and pulling it loose, her hand slipped inside and the pads of her fingers stroked over the warm velvety length. She heard a hiss and Rey grinned as she was freed.

‘You’re impatient today,’ teeth scraped her skin and then it was soothed by a tongue. 

‘I want you inside of me.’ She groaned, white-knuckling the keyboard, the figures becoming a mess. 

There was a warm chuckle and then an advance, and Rey was tilted forward until her ass was pushed up against their crotch and she could feel the solid, thick length between her legs, waiting to be lined up.

She huffed, her arousal tipping over into delirium at the thought of what was about to happen and she grabbed their hand, guiding them towards her apex. A twitch forward had the tip slipping forward between her folds and hitting her soft peak and she twitched, moaning. 

‘I don’t think I’ll last long,’ she panted.

Another laugh. ‘Then I’ll make it extra special.’ 

‘Kriff.’

Rey woke up, resigned to her seeming fate. 

Nothing she could do would stop the dreams it seemed, and even though she had heard the voice of the person who seemed to want to do nothing else but pleasure her in her mind, she couldn’t exactly place it in reality. Though that didn’t mean she didn’t have her assumption. One that made her uncomfortable and confused. 

She couldn’t tell whether it was a good or a bad thing that in her dreams she’d never gone...that far. It was almost like if it happened in her dreams, then it was just the same as happening in reality, and Rey didn’t like the idea of her first time being with a phantom character from her imagination. 

Refraining from finishing up and satisfying her aching, Rey took several deep breaths and finished what she had been doing before she’d been launched into a sleep that had lasted three hours.

**#**

With the door on the cell closed again, Ben felt alone. With the metal door shutting out the noise of the engines and of the artificial air regulator, it was just him and his thoughts with his hands on his stomach as he lay back on the cot. 

He could sense Rey’s constant apprehension and confusion like it was something he could touch or smell, and it made him feel the same way. It made him think that maybe he was alone in what he felt, that she truly couldn’t see the connection between them. Yet still she had let him out. She had instead trusted that he wouldn’t try and harm her to escape. 

Ben huffed, pulling a hand through his hair before his fingers dropped on the sabacc die at his throat. He pulled them along the chain, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he reached out tentatively towards her. Not enough to be noticed, but enough to wander. 

It was how he fell asleep. 

‘Rey,’ he murmured tiredly, eyes blinking awake. 

Sitting up, he noticed the warmth of a fire by his side and he rolled towards it, inhaling charcoal and burnt wood as his eyes squinted against the light. 

He glanced up when he heard a chuckle and she was there, sitting across the fire from him, toasting something in the flames.

‘You’re like a cat, falling asleep before the embers.’

‘What’s that?’ He asked, eyes on the skewer. 

She knelt up and passed him the food around the flames, before sitting back down and preparing another. ‘Mallow. I picked some up the last time I was in the village.’ 

Ben’s eyes were on the sticky white glob at the end of the skewer and he touched it, frowning at the heat, before he blew on it. She already had another on a skewer and Ben watched her for a moment before he took a bite. 

‘Good?’ She was grinning.

He nodded, catching another when she threw it over the fire. He skewered that one and held it in the heat. 

‘Were you dreaming again?’ she asked. ‘Of something nice?’ 

Ben smiled, meeting her eyes. ‘This is the best dream that I could imagine.’ 

She snorted and picked at her melted mallow, then waved at her tongue when she took a bite too soon. Ben laughed and then they were both filled with mirth, and he took the moment to move closer to her. She watched him move easily and chewed on the rest of the confection. 

‘You look like you’ve got something on your mind.’ 

His lips twisted in unsurety, but he nodded, holding her gaze. ‘Everytime I see you, I feel like the universe is shouting something at me that I can’t possibly understand.’ His brow furrowed. ‘It doesn’t make sense.’ 

‘Why doesn’t it make sense? Isn’t that what fate is?’ 

‘The universe has never put much thought in me.’ 

Her eyes shifted, a crease deepening between her brows. ‘The universe has never put thought in you?’ She echoed, eyes glancing to the fire. 

Ben watched the fire-made shadows crawl across her face while his chest ached. And it didn’t make sense; it made him feel even more lost. 

‘I don’t think I can agree,’ she murmured. Her eyes reached him again and then she smiled, wide and all teeth. ‘The universe brought you to me, didn’t it?’ 

When Ben blinked again she was gone, and all that remained was the four walls of the cell and his own pacing heart. 

‘Ben?’ Rey’s voice was small, nervous even, and Ben immediately sat up. ‘Are you awake?’

‘Yeah.’

And still the relentless beat of his heart continued, like his heart was the one knocking on the door. 

**#**

Rey took a breath before she opened the door to the cell again. 

She’d spent hours now training her thoughts not to stray, meditating and even praying to the Force to just let her be. 

She knew it wasn’t working, because her breathing wouldn’t ease and whenever she thought about what was just a few metres away, she felt ready to hyperventilate, which was very unlike her. 

Though still, she’d let him sleep a full sleep cycle, and had a promise to keep: To get him off her ship.

Rey couldn’t delay it any longer and if she could have, she would have chewed on her thumbnail, but took to tinkering with loose nuts and bolts around the ship, before she eventually reached the door to the cell and had knocked. 

Ben was sitting on the bed with sleep in his eyes. His hair stuck up at every angle, and Rey thought he looked every bit the rascal she expected he was. It irked her to think about it – that he was probably the type her father always spoke about. A scoundrel. A womaniser. 

Though then he looked at her – silent, intrusive and intense. Like he was trying to peel layers away from her with a single look, and Rey squirmed beneath it. It was overwhelming.

‘Are you hungry?’ she managed through a dry throat. 

‘I could eat,’ he murmured in response, eyes still on her. 

Rey nodded and turned, closing her eyes and hating that she was so preoccupied with her speeding pulse. The dream had truly done a number on her. 

Ben followed her into the galley and Rey set about preparing a small meal from the assortment of rations and canned food she had on hand. He watched her work, amused by her deft hand at creating something that looked great out of barely palatable portions. 

She presented him with a dish of stewed mystery protein and sat down, while Ben sat at the opposite side. 

They ate in silence for some time, taking curious glances at each other, though Rey used the excuse that it was her Mandalorian training – that she always had to be on her guard. 

It was Ben who spoke first. 

‘Are we calling this a truce now?’

Rey blinked and narrowed her eyes. ‘A plate of food doesn’t mean that I’m letting your dad go.’ 

Ben scoffed. ‘You just want me healthy for when we face off again? Will you be satisfied when you’ve taken me out in a real fight?’

‘That and getting the bounty on your dad,’ she murmured, making sure the smile was clear in her tone.

‘If it wasn’t so sad, I think I’d laugh at how easily you pretend that I mean nothing.’ 

Rey sighed, looking to the ceiling. ‘For someone who has known me for less than a week, you are quick to guess what I think and feel.’

‘I know what you feel; like it’s happening to me,’ he huffed, standing and rounding the galley counter. ‘And you look at me as if it’s not true.’ 

She hesitated, watching him move and brush past the discarded meal. 

He had her cornered then, and Rey suddenly regretted ever letting him out of the brig. Not because he was any particular physical threat, but because it gave him the freedom to do as he wished. To confuse her more than she already was. It was uncomfortable. The feeling in her chest was growing more unbearable the more intently he looked at her, and her dreams were slowly looking to leak into her waking thoughts and influence her actions. 

She should have left him in the brig. 

‘I see you when I close my eyes. I know it’s you,’ he murmured. 

‘You make yourself a fool,’ she answered, slipping from her stool and readying to escape his shadow, but taking too long, and being too slow about it. 

Ben shook his head, sighing gently and then he was leaning forward, his eyes closing and his forehead resting against her helm, breathing heavily. 

His hand reached to her waist and Rey sucked in a breath, the action making tingles break out across her flesh, and she let out a reluctant shudder. 

‘See, do you feel it?’ He asked, eyes opening again, staring into hers once more. This impossible thing he did, as if he had the ability to do more than just see her, but see into her soul as well. 

‘I won’t take off my helmet,’ she murmured, and Rey wasn’t even quite sure what she meant by it. It sounded like an invitation she realised, and she wasn’t quite sure whether it wasn’t. He didn’t smile though – there was no cockiness left in his expression or in his tone. 

‘Tell me you feel it too?’

Rey was lost, falling into his whiskey-coloured eyes, revelling in the warmth of his hand against her, even when it didn’t touch skin. She was still in her armour, she could have fought him off her, yet she didn’t. 

‘I feel it,’ she finally admitted, feeling terrible for holding it in for so long. What was the use? ‘But that doesn’t mean that it’s right, that we should do anything about it.’ 

‘Fate can’t be ignored.’ 

Rey closed her eyes, breathing deeply, her voice modulator compensating for it. She sucked in another breath and reached to remove his hand from her waist. She jolted, realising that her gloves were still on the kitchen counter, and her skin was against his. She could feel the steady thrum of the Force flowing through him and to her; their hearts beating in tandem. 

Ben’s eyes widened as he watched her, a breath releasing and his hand turned, fingers folding between hers. Rey hesitated for too long, his hand warming her own; calloused and right. Her heart rate sped, finding that they’d somehow gotten closer, and Rey wasn’t used to this – she didn’t know how to handle this. 

‘Don’t,’ she murmured, closing her eyes to try and remove herself from the moment. ‘Don’t confuse me.’

He let go of her and took a step back, bowing his head slightly. ‘I don’t want to…’ Ben sighed softly. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you so anxious. I didn’t realise.’ 

‘I’m going to drop you off at the nearest outpost,’ she decided, her voice levelling out. 

Rey found she wasn’t angry; that she couldn’t be angry. It wasn’t something he had caused in truth, no matter how much she disliked him and this situation, it wasn’t his fault. 

Ben nodded, squaring his jaw. 

Rey readied herself to step away from him – he was standing so close she could feel the heat emanating from him. 

‘This won’t make it disappear,’ he murmured. ‘We’ll still feel this way, even apart.’ 

‘What do you mean?’ 

His brow furrowed. ‘It’s a connection that’s forged by the Force. It can’t just disappear.’ 

‘Then teach me how to ignore it.’ 

He looked at her, looking anxious. ‘I don’t know how,’ he said honestly. ‘Maybe my uncle knows, but I...this doesn’t happen. I don’t know why or how it has.’ 

‘I can’t have you in my head for the rest of my life.’ 

He huffed. ‘There are worse things.’ 

‘Not when you’re a criminal.’ 

‘Everything we do is for the future of this galaxy.’ 

Rey scoffed. 

‘The reality of the world around you clearly hasn’t clicked in yet.’ He bit back. ‘The world is not black and white. There isn’t simply the predator and the prey. People have reasons for the things they do.’

‘Anything to justify your criminality, yeah? Perhaps I have been sheltered, but are you going to say your dad got into smuggling to pay the bills?’

Ben paused, his brow furrowing with annoyance. ‘You’re an asshole.’ 

Rey laughed, her head knocking back. ‘No,  _ you’re _ the asshole. You can’t always win, especially just because you deem some causes higher than others. Smuggling for the greater good? You should go back to being a Jedi, though considering what I know about you, maybe there’s a reason they’re all dead.’ 

‘Bring your father here.’ 

She paused. ‘Why?’ 

‘Bring him here. Clearly you need an adult.’ 

Rey didn’t have time to think before she was lashing out, her fist flying from her side and connecting with his jaw. Ben hit the edge of the counter, winding him momentarily, and then Rey could see rage cross his face and she was launching herself at him. The two of them fought, though Rey had the upper hand considering Ben was pulling his punches, and was trying to wrangle her rather than hit her. 

She tripped him to the floor, her fists swinging and being deflected as she held him down with two knees to his stomach. His lip split and he huffed at being fully winded and Rey slowed, her anger flailing until she finally stopped, him still pinned beneath her legs but looking worse than when she’d first thrown him in her brig. 

Ben was breathing heavily, staring up at her, his hair a mess and a drop of blood leaking from his lips; painting them ruby, and distracting Rey completely. She was transfixed by the steady lift of his chest as he breathed deeply, and the gentle flutter of his lashes. His pulse was thundering and she shifted, ready to get up, when she felt something hard between her legs. 

Looking down, she could see his trousers were slightly tented and when she looked at his face again, he was a deep shade of red, completely embarrassed. Rey didn’t know what she had expected, but it wasn’t this. Not his reaction to it either, and not her own silence. 

His eyes hit the ceiling and then his hands were over his face and he groaned, seemingly in pain. ‘This is the worst moment of my life.’ 

‘You’re sick.’ And even though there was vitriol behind the words, they came out of her more like a panicked laugh, and it caught his attention, because then suddenly she was laughing. As if this was just a practical joke; as if she had any experience beyond a handful of low-budget holovids and novels, and her own imagination.

‘Just get off me,’ he groaned and Rey felt inclined to rebel for some reason, beyond any logic. 

And perhaps she would have, but then the lights began to flicker and the entire propulsion system gave up, sending the two of them scattering across half the ship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to drop me a line ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for all the lovely comments <3 :D

Ben stumbled up, his vision blurry and his side and head aching. He’d been unconscious, though he couldn’t tell for how long. 

The lights were flickering and it sounded as if only environmental systems were still running. Whatever had hit them had been able to take out the electrics, so they wouldn’t be able to flee or fight back before the ship system rebooted itself. 

If he hadn’t distracted her...

‘Rey?’ 

The ship was a mess – anything not strapped down was scattered on the floor. He felt the telltale pull of a tractor beam and an unsettling energy in the Force. A warning.

Ben found Rey beneath a cargo container, struggling as she tried to push it off herself.

‘Are you hurt?’ He asked once she was able to slip from underneath the container with his help. 

She shook her head, but her hand lifted upwards towards his temple, though before she touched him, she pulled it back. Ben touched his head gingerly, wincing and feeling the sticky sensation of blood against his fingertips. ‘It’s fine,’ he murmured, as he moved towards the front of the ship to look through the viewport. 

‘Who is it?’ Rey asked, coming up behind him. 

He saw a familiar flag ship and swore under his breath. ‘Do you have business with the Guavian Death Gang by any chance?’

‘I think my father has taken a couple of them out.’

Ben grimaced. ‘Well either they are looking for me, they’re looking for you, or your ship has caught their eye.’ 

‘You really are just causing me a thousand problems, aren’t you?’ She asked, and he could hear the wariness in her voice. Her fingers were ghosting over the sleeve of his jumper, her gloves still discarded, though likely lost in the mess. 

Ben groaned, rubbing his hand down his face. His father had caused a thousand issues with a thousand gangs, but of all of them, the Guavian Death Gang knew Ben; they’d seen his face; known he’d destroyed five of their ships getting his father out of their last scrape; and had ‘confiscated’ about 5,000 credits they were owed. 

‘I don’t like your silence,’ Rey commented. She was sifting through the mess. ‘I suppose I should get you your lightsaber.’

‘No,’ he murmured, searching through his head for an excuse. A reason as to why he didn’t actually ever use his weapon. ‘That will make it worse. A blaster will do.’ He frowned, looking at Rey carefully. Even though he couldn’t read her expression, he could sense her fear and hesitation through the Force, despite her stance being one of control.

Even still, she watched him for a long time, Ben not sure what to say. She put more distance between them when she moved toward the interior wall between the galley and cockpit, and when her hand touched over a panel, it popped free. Rey reached inside, removing his lightsaber, and she held it out to him. 

The ship shook again. They must have been tractered into the hold of one of the gang’s larger vessels.

‘Where are the rest of your weapons?’

She sighed, and began sifting about for them, the lightsaber still tight in her hand as she tossed him a blaster and two knives. 

‘If this goes wrong, I’ll be the one to kill you.’ 

Ben couldn’t help the half-smirk, half-smile. ‘At least you’re positive that we’ll survive this. 

‘Odds of a fight are always high when a Mandalorian is involved,’ she muttered. Rey ducked under the ship’s helm and pulled free a medical kit. ‘Though even still, I’m a little out of practice against a whole death gang.’ Her words drew quieter and Ben felt his chest strain again, filling with discomfort at the fact that he’d put her in danger. This was his fault, some way or another.

Ben watched her sift through the medkit and she removed a bacta spray. Gesturing for him to kneel down, she held a hand over his eyes while she sprayed a thin sheen over his injury. It felt better, though itchy, and he nodded his thanks to her. 

‘I should have called my father,’ she muttered to herself. Even though her fear was palpable, there was a steady confidence coming from her, which he was thankful for. It made him believe that they would make it out of this. Still, he hadn’t been this frightened in a while. 

‘Now take this,’ she said again, holding the lightsaber to him.

Ben ignored her request, standing and attaching the blaster and knives she’d removed from her armoury to his hip. He strapped the thigh holster and Rey handed him his own gun to slip inside. Plainly avoiding the lightsaber, he moved across the ship to where a crew was currently trying to wrench the entrance ramp door open.

He held the blaster up against his chest as he took position in a nook near the brig. Looking across the ship, he saw Rey do the same, the lightsaber hooked to her belt while she crouched just outside of her quarters. 

‘We are commandeering this vessel,’ the voice broke through the screech of metal, and the entrance ramp doors gave way. 

Rey took several breaths, hearing the ship being approached by booted feet, distantly hearing charged repeater rifles in their hands.

‘Surrender this ship, your possessions and your service. Perhaps we’ll take pity on you and not sell you to the Hutts.’

Ben suddenly had the strange feeling of being inside of Rey’s mind come over him, where Ben knew what her response would be:  _ I’d rather perish _ . And he stopped her, interrupting her thoughts. ‘If we go willingly, will you leave my wife unharmed?’ 

There was a chuckle. ‘Oh boys, we’ve happened upon a nice little married couple. Do you suppose they’ve got littleuns too?’ 

Ben grimaced, his hand sweating on his blaster. A ship large enough to fit Rey’s in the hangar meant that at least fifty crew were on board. They’d need to fight not only the handful who were trying to board the gunship, but those in the hangar bay and the ship at large. Then the potential entourage. He swallowed at the thought, and looked once more at Rey. At least she had beskar armour. 

Taking a moment, Ben closed his eyes and tried to gently test how far he could reach out, trying not to overwhelm himself with the Force as he counted the gang members advancing on them. Rey’s gunship was tiny and they could possibly use it to their advantage. 

**#**

Rey glanced at Ben briefly, and it filled her with more fear than before. His eyes and soul were screaming an apology to her. Any of his usual confidence was gone – it was the expression of the plan man being without one. All Rey could think to do was squeeze the blaster more tightly in her hand, hoping that they were smart enough to find a way out of this together. It was her ship and she would die before letting someone else take it. 

From her position, she could see the shadows of three men and they were noisy, salivating at the prospect of the ship, its contents and two people to sell. She grit her teeth, suddenly missing her father, wishing she had given him their coordinates, or at least wishing she was a Foundling again, able to fit into his arms and bury her head in his cloak. 

She supposed it was too late for memories. 

And it was no place to berate herself for being distracted, either. She hadn’t even had TK activated for evasive manoeuvering. 

Cocking her gun, she closed her eyes, calling the Force to her, feeling it building within her chest. When the shadows drew closer, she looked to Ben quickly, nodding before they stood in sync, blasters aimed and letting out a foray of bolts, with only a handful being returned. 

The men dropped to the ground outside of the ship’s doors with dull thuds, and there was silence in The Crown Horn. Rey rushed toward Ben, pulling him toward her safe room. She grit her teeth, the door locked and masked to the unknowing eye. According to the readout on her wrist datapad, the system restore was still at 50% and without power, the safe room would stay locked. 

‘We’re fucked,’ Ben groaned. 

‘You always know the perfect thing to say,’ Rey said mildly, standing against the safe room door, the gun firm in her grip. ‘Perhaps I’ll kill you myself.’ She looked over her shoulder and he was smiling. 

‘That wouldn’t help either of us.’ 

‘Stop being so pessimistic, then,’ she sighed, helm knocking against the durasteel, making a clanging that was too loud in her ears. She stopped quickly and Ben’s hand had slipped between them, his fingers knitting through hers. 

‘Work with me here,’ he requested. 

Rey sighed, having prepared her complaints, but they fell dead on her tongue as she felt the strange tingle of their connection between them. It was easy then to let everything fall away – to feel the Force encompass them both. Perhaps it would give them a path, maybe it would do something. 

When she took the moment to concentrate on the power lying between them, connecting them like a bridge of fate, she felt a settling within her. Her eyes blinked open and Rey was silent, her gaze on the cockpit, frightened and yet finding some semblance of inner peace. Ben’s steady breaths beside her felt like something to weight her down and she thought with some relief that at least she wasn’t alone here. 

‘Tell me more about before,’ she found herself asking. 

Ben smiled softly. ‘You want to hear about my bad memories? Now?’

She nodded. ‘I don’t remember mine,’ she answered. ‘I remember when my father found me, but not before.’ 

‘And you think before was bad?’ 

‘He found me in a locked box, almost dead.’ 

Ben squared his jaw, his expression darkening and his grip on her hand grew tighter. ‘Maybe it’s better that you don’t remember.’ 

Rey shook her head and Ben looked to her, waiting for her to speak, but she couldn’t. Even her father didn’t understand what it felt like for her. To feel as if she were living someone else’s life, with no memory of how she got to where she was. How she knew how to do the things she did, even before her father had taught her. 

Ben’s gaze held hers, looking through her and Rey was ready to say something – to joke so that the air between them wouldn’t be so thick any longer, and then the sharp sound of a blaster bolt jolted them, knocking pans off the shelf in the galley and causing them to clang on the floor. 

Another firefight started, this one more on the side of the gang just due to the sheer numbers of aggressors; now eight rather than three.

Rey slammed her hand on the emergency release for the side exit and they slipped through quickly, escaping to the hangar bay and its array of cargo that was large enough to use as cover. Even still, the gang cottoned on quickly, and the pair of them were barely able to shoot back or divert bolts that came their way, as they took separate positions. Rey was bad at utilising the Force in this way – only copying what she saw Ben doing, and being too new at it. She felt inadequate and a waste – having used the Force as little more than for parlour tricks rather than for defense. 

The lightsaber at her waist felt warm, as if it was demanding her attention, and Rey’s eyes quickly snapped to Ben, and at the sweat beading against his forehead. 

‘Stop shooting,’ she called out. ‘You have lost more than you ever would have gained by taking this ship.’ At the very least, they’d managed to take at least ten more of the gang out. 

Another shot went off and Ben shouted out, hitting the floor and holding his thigh, a scorch mark tearing through it. Footsteps drew closer and Rey lifted her blaster to cover him, but Ben already had a figure looming over him, stepping onto the wound, and then the man without a helmet, and clad in red laughed ecstatically. 

‘Boys, look who we have here. Ben Solo.’ Bala-Tik intoned with a grin. 

There were sniggers of satisfaction and Rey felt her heart straining in her chest, sorting through what to do next as she moved to conceal herself behind displaced cargo boxes. 

‘Where’s your dear old dad? Finally kicked the bucket? Or is this your lady love, and you’ve gone off for a jaunt?’ He mocked. 

Ben growled, a hand reaching up and knocking the man away with the Force, though a minion just as quickly kicked him while the leader recovered, expression even angrier than before. There were more flying limbs and Ben was turning onto his back, semi-conscious and groaning as blood leaked from fresh bruises and cuts across his face. 

‘Now what should we do with him?’ 

‘Kill him, boss.’

Bala-Tik shook his head. ‘Could teach Han a lesson, though Force users do fetch a pretty penny.’ 

‘Go Rey,’ Ben called, his spittle red. 

‘Your lady love still here?’ Bala-Tik asked with a grin. ‘Rey, is it? Come on out Rey. We’ll take good care of you.’ 

Rey’s hands shook as she looked at the bodies around her, at Ben’s prone form, and to the blood that covered his face. The computer in her helm told her that her heart rate was too high, and she tried to settle her breathing and concentrate; tried to remember her training, but it was like her past: escaping her quickly, and hiding itself from her. She felt like a little girl again – trapped and confused. 

A hand was on her shoulder then, pulling her upwards and across the stretch of ship the gang stood within and she was knocked onto her knees, Bala-Tik looking down at her with interest.

‘A Mandalorian?’ he questioned. ‘You’re playing a bit meek considering you’ve taken out fifteen of my men.’

‘Maybe she’s a fake, boss?’

He smiled, the edge of his blaster lifting her chin. Rey looked to Ben, seeing that he was attempting to reach for his blaster again, but a boot stepped on his hand, and he screamed out. 

‘You almost had us, you know?’ Bala-Tik commented. ‘And I’m very thankful for you bringing this scum to us,’ he said, poking Ben with the toe of his boot. 

‘Stop that,’ Rey said through gritted teeth.

He laughed. ‘Perhaps we should take off her helmet boys; see what she’ll fetch in the slavers market. You didn’t become a Mandalorian because of your face, did you?’ He questioned. The man reached for her helmet release, and Rey pulled away, pushing him with the Force and pulling at the lightsaber at her waist. 

They all seemed to freeze at the sight of the weapon, and Rey glanced at Ben once more as she felt resolve settle in her. Enough that when she struck, it was with purpose. The men didn’t attack at the sight of the blue blade, most of them ran, especially considering Bala-Tik lay dismembered at her feet. 

Once the hangar had been emptied, most of the men lying dead, Rey put the lightsaber away and turned to Ben. He was unconscious and she pulled him, using whatever energy she had left to drag him the fifty metres back to her ship while the men had fled to distraction.

It didn’t last long, however, and she felt a blade breach her flank and a braver red-armoured gang member was there, her blood dripping from the steel. She reached for the lightsaber again, finding herself against a worthy opponent. Ben’s weapon was different from her own sword, it was lighter – almost weightless and the Force thrummed through her when she held it. As if it were an extension of herself. 

The ship shook and Rey stumbled, almost impaling herself on the soldiers weapon, and then there was more gunfire; from outside. The air-pressure dropped; signifying the hull had been breached somewhere on the ship. 

It was distraction enough and the soldier took the lightsaber to the chest. Rey immediately went back to Ben, pulling him the remaining distance, putting an emergency lock over the doors and then telling TK to get them out of there. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends. Sorry I'm taking so long between updates. Working from home really is a chore that seems to somehow consume more of my time when it comes to writing than I realised.

Sapir tea. A favourite of his mother’s. 

Ben swallowed the too-hot beverage, and smiled at the familiar taste. 

‘How did you know this was exactly what I needed?’ 

The young woman smirked and poured him more tea once he set his mug down on the low coffee table they sat at. ‘You’re the most obvious man I know, Ben,’ she answered easily. ‘You were fighting in your dream, I think. Had another face off with the Guavian Death Gang?’

Ben grinned. ‘How did you know that too?’ He paused then and looked at her carefully. ‘I’m not dead am I?’ Then his expression dropped further and he stood immediately, reaching for the woman and taking her hands in his. ‘You’re not dead, are you?’

She snorted. ‘What do you think?’ 

He frowned, seeing that she wasn’t going to reply how he needed her to, so his fingers slipped to her throat and his breathing settled at the thrum of her pulse. Strange. He’d never thought that his dreams could be so detailed, and that didn’t help convince him that he was in fact, still alive. 

‘Ben.’

Their eyes met again and she smiled widely. ‘Have some more tea.’ 

He let her sit him back down and the tea was at his lips once more. He felt marginally better. The dull pressure in his head had eased and once they reached the end of the tea pot, he finally opened his eyes.

It was a concussion if Ben didn’t know any better. Probably helped along by the beat down he’d taken from Bala-Tik and his cronies. Ben didn’t need to look into a mirror to know his face was a mess, and that the dull ache in his nose was due to it being broken. It had happened a few times, so he got it back into place with little effort and he groaned as he crawled up, seeking the med kit Rey had discarded earlier on.

Rey had managed to drag him just inside the entrance of the ship, and he’d woken up curled on the floor there. All the ship’s mechanisms had been reset and they were already jetting through hyperspace, seemingly being navigated towards somewhere safe by TK. 

Rey’s pulsing presence was close and Ben dragged himself towards her. She’d collapsed against the pilot’s chair, a small pool of blood trailing beside her. Ben sped up his movement, fighting the pain as he found the med kit nearby and took it with him.

**#**

Rey woke up when they were hovering somewhere near Yavin, her back drenched in blood, and weakness overwhelming her. Hands were on her and she fought them, before Ben hushed her, and she eventually saw what he was doing.

He’d bandaged up his thigh, though his face was a swollen mess. Both eyes were deeply weighed down by bruises; his nose seemingly having been broken and reset and his lip was split on the opposite side to where she had split it when they’d fought. His shirt had been discarded at some point, probably covered in the blood that had gushed from his nose when...

Then Rey was crying. Glad for the privacy of her helmet, but crying all the same; even as Ben eased her up from the pilot’s chair, and took her into his arms. He held her firmly, and closer than he really needed to, but it helped calm her. 

He’d told her to run. Even after everything she had put him through, he’d told her to go. Perhaps it was what had shaken Rey out of her fear. It wasn’t usual for her to freeze, though she wasn’t blind to the reasons why: The before still constantly held a corner of her mind, influencing her subconsciously and bringing fears to light that she wasn’t fully aware of. 

Death...all that death. It had overwhelmed her, and she was reminded of the scar on her thigh, and the blood that had coated her hands that day. She’d never been able to properly describe to her father what had happened; the gash, the knife and the dead body were the only evidence of what she had done. Now, the event no longer lived properly formed in her memory. 

Despite Ben’s limping, he managed to get them both to Rey’s bunkroom and to sit her on her cot. 

‘Can I take off your armour?’ He requested. Her medical kit sat beside him and Rey nodded, her helmed forehead pressed against his shoulder, fingers clinging to his bare arms. 

He undid the straps, pulling her breastplate away and then he was cutting through her shirt beneath it. The wound felt like it was on fire, and Rey was thankful for his cool hands, and then for the relief of bacta salve. 

‘I’m going to have to close it up.’ 

‘There’s glue in the pack,’ she murmured.

Ben nodded, and she felt him force her skin together before he applied a bacta patch. 

Rey lay on her front on her cot for several moments before she sat up, looking at Ben, while his gaze was on the floor. 

‘You should have left me there. It’s not like I didn’t bring this on myself; the smuggler’s just desserts.’ 

Rey wasn’t sure what to say. Her eyes scanned the swelling across his face. The cut she had bacta-ed closed was open again, and blood streaked across his forehead. 

‘I may not like what you do, but it does not mean I wish you dead.’ 

He looked to her, and she felt a strange reluctance in his gaze: A heavy weight over him as he met her. Ben’s eyes glanced down at the lightsaber still attached to her hip and Rey pulled it free, placing it in his hands. 

‘You should not turn your back on fate,’ she murmured.

‘Neither should you,’ he returned, reattaching the weapon to her belt-loop.

Rey sighed softly and she looked over the rest of his body.

‘I’m fine, it was just the bolt wound on my thigh,’ he answered without a question. ‘Worry about yourself. I am your prisoner, remember?’ 

‘I remember,’ she muttered, not truly believing that his pain stopped at his thigh. She’d seen the gang beat him relentlessly and her chest still tightened at the memory. It could have all gone so differently. ‘Yet, I also remember explicitly saying that I’d drop you off at the next neutral post.’

Ben smiled wryly. ‘There is one thing I got from this experience.’

‘What’s that?’ 

‘We make a hell of a good team.’

Rey snorted. ‘If almost dying makes for a good team.’ 

Ben chuckled lightly, but it petered out when his eyes began looking through her again, and then his brows furrowed. ‘I don’t want…’ He shut his eyes and breathed heavily. ‘This isn’t right, this isn’t what the Force wants.’ 

‘Do you regularly do what the Force wants?’

‘No,’ he huffed. ‘Though sometimes we are in agreement.’ 

Rey scoffed, smiling to herself. ‘And when is that?’

‘Like right now.’ 

‘And what is the Force telling you?’

‘That I should kiss you.’ 

‘Do you like the feeling of beskar against your lips?’ Rey jested, trying to ignore the dampness of her hands. He was too close she realised, and if she didn’t wear a helmet he could have kissed her. Though even still, he was close enough to take her hands, and to touch her elsewhere. 

Ben’s expression was passive, not finding any humour. ‘I could get used to it.’ 

‘You joke too much.’ 

‘Would it be so terrible?’ He asked, a seriousness in his words.

Rey swallowed, knowing that she should lean away, but finding that her own body resisted the idea. She realised how exposed they both were – their clothing cut away, bloodied and torn. Her bralette wouldn’t have been particularly risque on many planets, yet it left an intimacy to the conversation that neither had intended. 

Her eyes drifted to his lips, and she remembered her dream; how easy it had been to find satisfaction in them pressed against her skin. It would be easy now, and Rey knew that it wouldn’t be wrong. She was an adult, and there was nothing in the Mandalorian code that included celibacy. Though she supposed those were also excuses. This was Han Solo’s son. 

‘You have a one track mind,’ she said, her voice small. 

Ben shook his head. ‘You...you’re like a word I want to say that has slipped from my tongue. But I feel like I’ve been searching for you for longer than a moment; for my entire life.’ 

‘Stop.’ 

He shook his head. ‘What good is it to ignore the truth of it? I’ve dreamed of you and of how right it would feel without really knowing what that rightness would mean.’ 

‘I will drop you nearby,’ Rey said quickly, exerting herself to stand, even though her back shrieked and her muscles were heavy weights. 

Ben was silent, his hands in fists as he looked at the floor, and Rey could feel his distress as poignantly as her own. He frightened her. He was all of the things her father had always told her to avoid. 

This had to be a trick. The universe was playing a game with them. 

Rey made it several steps, before her strength gave up, and Ben was easing himself up, helping her reluctantly back onto the bed. 

‘Let me at least take care of you until you can move around,’ he murmured. 

She grimaced, but it did not deter him. He was limping up, collecting a canteen of water and helping her drink it back before he looked over her for any more injuries. Rey was silent as he did, watching him carefully, eyes always falling back to the movement of his muscles beneath his skin. Watching how the skin of his stomach pulled taught, and measuring the wide expanse of his chest with her eyes. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, which irked her wholly. With the both of them like this, it was hard to deny that her heart wasn’t beating faster, that even if she could push thoughts of their connection away, she couldn’t hide her natural attraction to him. 

‘Thank you,’ she finally said with a sigh. ‘Even if it’s your fault.’ 

Ben paused, his hand in hers while he looked over the abrasion at her wrist, and he smiled. ‘You’re welcome.’

Rey looked over her shoulder at the screen in her bunkroom, which showed the ship’s navigation, and she pursed her lips. She looked back at Ben to tell him she’d drop him now, that she’d had enough, but he was looking at her with such intensity that the words slipped from her grasp. 

‘This pursuit of oftentimes petty criminals means nothing in the face of galactic unrest. And your power...your acuity with the Force...it shouldn’t be ignored.’ 

Rey sighed again. ‘You really do pull out all the stops just to try and convince me to stop chasing your father.’ 

He huffed, seeing right through her diversion. ‘You can feel that, right? That ebbing and flowing in the Force? That energy passing between us? Do you really think it means nothing? That this isn’t strange and prophetic?’ 

‘So you wish me to become some sort of Jedi disciple? If we are so similar, why should my fate not be the same as yours?’

That answer left him in silence and he seemed to be considering it. ‘Then we will do it our own way.’ 

Rey laughed. ‘ _ Our _ ?’

He nodded, clasping her hand in two of his and eclipsing the appendage. ‘I’ve never felt something more necessary in my life.’

‘And you still wish to kiss me?’

‘I wish to do more than just kiss you.’ 

Rey didn’t miss the glitter in his eyes at his vulgarity, and she pinched his hand, making him let go of her. 

And yet still, she wanted the same. Even if she had to be tortured to say it out loud. 

‘Some people would think it unwise to make those kind of statements without having seen a person’s face.’ 

Ben smiled wryly. ‘Maybe, but then some people can’t feel the Force. When I close my eyes, I can feel you here—’ His hand fell to his chest as his warm eyes settled over Rey. ‘—warm and right, and I know you. I know I’ve dreamed of you, even if you think I’m crazy.’ 

‘Dreams are deceptive things. It might be nothing but your carnal desires.’ 

He chuckled, his thumb drifting across the skin beneath her knuckle. ‘Do you think I’ve been having sex dreams about you, Rey?’ 

‘So are you telling me that you haven’t?’

‘Are you telling me that you have?’

He smiled at her lack of response, and despite the blush in her cheeks being invisible to him, it was as if he knew it anyway. Eventually he placed her hand back down in her lap, and looked carefully at her.

‘I will go if you tell me to, but it’s the last thing I want.’ 

Rey huffed and turned away from him. ‘You’re unreasonably annoying.’ 

Another staccato laugh left him and he stood up. Rey listened as he went sifting through her things, handing her a fresh set of clothes, cleaning up the mess and rearranging things wherever he wanted. Her heartrate wasn’t slowing and she closed her eyes, trying to act as if there was nothing wrong. 

‘You know, considering I kidnapped and imprisoned you, you should be far more interested in escaping me,’ she called to him. 

‘Do you want my forgiveness?’

She groaned, knocking her helm against the durasteel wall, while Ben chuckled and walked off.

The communicator went off as Rey finished pulling on a tunic. She sat up, easing out of the cot and making her way across the ship to the pilot’s controls. Ben looked out from the refresher, interested. Rey approached, flicking the panel and a holographic Han Solo popped up on screen. She couldn’t help smiling. 

‘Finally giving yourself up, Han Solo?’ Rey asked.

Ben was behind her then, and the man’s face seemed to change. 

‘Seems like we saved them for nothing Chewie – Ben looks like he’s having a great time with the bounty hunter. Was wondering why you weren’t turning up at the usual places. Didn’t want to escape? Fallen for a Mandalorian?’ Han questioned, looking gruff – at most annoyed. 

Ben huffed. ‘Come to rescue me then?’ 

‘You ran off after we dealt with the Guavians.’

‘—That was you?’ Rey interrupted, suddenly feeling rather confused.

Han nodded. ‘Tracked the beskar and there you were.’ 

Ben grinned. ‘Well Rey, it looks like you owe my father for saving your life.’

When Rey turned he was standing far too close, looking down at her with a cocky smile. He involuntarily licked his bottom lip, seeming to look directly at her as was his supreme skill. 

She glowered, knowing that her emotions were strong enough for him to feel, even without seeing her face. Yet he was also right and Rey wasn’t quite sure of what to do with that information. If her father were here, Rey was sure he’d know what to do – he knew better than her what it meant to have a life debt. Her hands made fists and Rey so badly wanted to fight Ben again, because at least then she could pretend that this hadn’t all gone horribly wrong – that if he escaped the ship, she could say it was because he bested her, not because she let him go. 

The ship shifted as the Falcon docked onto The Crown Horn, and Rey sighed, wondering whether to cut her losses at this point. Ben’s hand touched hers briefly, and she turned to him, his face passive as Han entered the ship. 

‘Do we have a parley?’ Han asked. 

Ben cocked his head to the side and Rey sighed, nodding. ‘For the time being,’ she answered, already reaching for her closest blaster. 

It was a few minutes before they were all standing in the mess of her ship, Rey’s hands on her blaster and knife, Ben beside her as Chewbacca and Han stood across from them. Han looked wary, his hand near his thigh holster, while the Wookiee seemed satisfied enough with his hands. 

‘Got cozy with your captor?’ Han asked his son.

‘A bit more complicated than that.’

Rey was watching them carefully, silent. Her bounty was in ruins; her father had been right to tell her to take an easy bounty for her first go, now she’d just be known as big-headed; trying to do more than she was cut out for. The thought cut her, and even in a room filled with people she considered enemies, she could only focus on how much of a failure of a Mandalorian she was. How hard she had tried to live up to her father’s expectations, just to fail him. 

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the men around her. 

‘Rey?’ Ben’s voice was soft, close and the ghost of his fingers was almost against hers as he spoke. He repeated her name and she felt coaxed into looking at him, finding his face strangely serious, especially considering he’d won. She hadn’t ended up with taking neither his dad nor him. 

‘Maybe you shouldn’t aggravate the Mandalorian?’ Han questioned, looking wary. ‘You can keep the beskar,’ he added for good measure.

‘Come with us, Rey.’

Han’s face filled with unrelenting confusion and Chewbacca loudly questioned Ben’s suggestion. Yet Ben was solely concentrating on Rey and she could feel the fast beat of his heart as he said it, because it was the same as hers. 

And Rey did everything in her power to pull herself away from the compulsion – of how right it felt in her chest to want to say yes – and to keep her father and her brother within her mind. Anything and everything else was selfishness, and she struggled to fight her pacing pulse.

‘Please leave,’ she murmured.

‘You don’t have to tell me twice,’ Han mumbled, already turning to return to his ship.

Ben didn’t move. ‘I’m not letting you go just like that, Rey.’ 

She laughed sardonically, thinking that if she willed him away, he’d eventually disappear. ‘It’s another impasse then?’ 

He huffed and closed his eyes. 

‘I’m not sure what kind of theatre show you guys are acting out, but can you please finish it up? I’d like to get some sleep.’ 

Rey moved back to the pilots controls and began flicking switches, though Ben followed behind her, watching what she was doing. 

‘At least come to talk with my uncle? He could take in your brother too. Train him; train the both of you.’

‘I thought you said that you wanted  _ us _ to go our own way?’ she questioned. Rey had attempted adding malice to her tone, but had failed, and it became more like a conscious effort to correct him. 

Ben frowned, studying her helmet carefully. ‘I suppose I just don’t want to leave you here alone.’

And Rey understood – she could read it in his eyes and in his heart, and it made so much sense to her, because she knew she felt it too. The longer she spent with Ben, the more she seemed to realise. Even with her family she’d felt alone, but now, now it was different. It was like a part of her had been left behind in that box, and now that she was aware of what was missing, it called to her. It was a longing that grew deeper and more poignant the longer she tried to avoid it. 

Ben was that missing piece. 

He swallowed, and Rey could see his hand drift towards the controls that she still clutched, moving closer to her, yet also restraining himself. Rey felt as if she were being studied and hated it. He was far too interested in discovering what she was thinking than she would have liked. 

Rey turned, her mouth opening to speak, though she didn’t know what to say. A sensor went off in her helmet and Rey glanced away from Ben and down at the controls, watching the ship approaching on the nav, and she sighed, her head knocking on the durasteel and a groan leaving her.

‘What is it?’ Ben asked.

‘Prepare to enter the atmosphere,’ Rey said, taking her seat and flicking more switches.

‘Uh, we should really go, kiddo,’ Han shouted from beneath the dock, while Chewbacca climbed through the hole. 

‘Just land, dad. Give me some time.’ 

Han frowned, though immediately dashed back up the docking entrance, grabbing for Chewie.

Rey could feel Ben’s trepidation as he watched her, though eventually he sat down in the co-pilot chair as they waited for the Falcon to disengage. 

‘What’s happening?’.

‘My father is more of a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy, so I’d prefer if we were on land. My ship has taken enough of a beating.’ 

‘He’d have that in common with my dad, then.’ Ben grimaced, though his tone was more strangled. She almost laughed; he was scared of her father, as he should be. 

Rey scanned the closet planet, and started a landing sequence. They entered the atmosphere and Rey took manual control, directing the ship to land in an empty grass field on the mostly arable planet. 

Razor Crest came into view, and as was her father’s speciality, he had landed and the entrance ramp was open within thirty seconds. She could feel the familiar presence of her brother, and Rey frowned, not knowing whether her father had decided to come for a fight. Considering he’d locked onto her ship while it had been boarded by the infamous Millenium Falcon, it was likely. 

The ship in question had landed some distance off, Han and Chewie armed to the teeth as they slowly approached.

Sure enough, Din Djarin’s blaster was in his hands once he’d jumped down from the ship. His son was perched on his back and peering over the Mandalorian’s shoulder with a hand held out threateningly.

‘Stand down, father,’ Rey said with a sigh, standing at the foot of her ship’s entrance ramp. 

Ben was laughing beside her, and Rey restrained herself from hitting him. ‘Who would have thought I’d meet your family so quickly?’

‘Shut up.’

‘What situation have you gotten yourself into?’ Her father asked with no preamble.

‘I told you it was about a boy,’ her brother commented. ‘Is he the one who hurt you?’ He asked, gesturing to the wound at her side. ‘I could feel you get injured.’

Rey looked to the ground, feeling her father’s silence. ‘We were attacked by the Guavian Death Gang.’ 

‘I told you to keep your visits to Wild Space short,’ Din responded, agitation in his voice, and his gun still pointed at Ben. It filled Rey with a cold chill just seeing it. ‘Well done for catching your bounty regardless, daughter.’ 

Han snorted, coming up from the rear, his gun cocked towards the Mandalorian. ‘ _ We _ just saved _ their  _ asses from the Guavians.’ 

Din looked to his daughter and she gave a slight nod, though he still did not lower his weapon. ‘And you have now given yourself up?’ 

‘I think we’re calling it a parley,’ Ben murmured, distracted by the green alien peeking over the Mandalorian’s shoulder. The child was looking at him far too deeply, before he smiled, seemingly knowing something that Ben did not. 

‘They are not a threat.’ 

Rey looked to her brother, finding that he had his look of mischief plastered on his face. The words were enough for Din to lower his weapon and look to his daughter once more. Rey felt a profound wave of shame, as her gaze fell to the ground. 

Han lowered his own weapon, though kept his eyes on any cover they could use to get back to the Falcon. ‘Are you coming, Ben?’ 

‘Rey,’ Ben murmured. 

Rey felt like launching herself into her garbage compactor. Even without looking up, she was aware that all eyes were on her. Her jaw tightened and she heard the gentle movement of her brother towards her. Then he was pulling at her hip, and she felt the lightsaber unclip. 

‘Where’d you get this?’ 

‘A lightsaber?’ Din asked, stepping towards Rey, and making Ben hesitate. 

‘It’s mine,’ the young man said with a sigh. 

Din was silent while he looked Ben over. ‘You’re a Jedi?

‘Was a Jedi,’ Rey amended. 

‘On Jedi hiatus,’ Han chimed in. 

When Rey glanced at Ben, he was rolling his eyes before fixing his gaze on her brother and the lightsaber in his hand. Her father’s focus was still on him and Rey could feel Ben’s apprehension towards the Mandalorian, yet he stayed beside her – close enough that he could grab her hand. 

‘I…’

Din’s gaze moved to his daughter, though she avoided meeting his or even just looking at her brother at her feet. 

‘I think she must go with the almost-Jedi,’ her brother interrupted. 

Rey frowned, looking up at him. 

_ Don’t speak for me.  _

_ If I don’t, he’ll misunderstand.  _

‘Why?’ There was anger in Din’s tone and Rey kept her stance passive. ‘You are a bounty hunter and they are criminals.’ 

Rey trembled, not knowing what truth to give her father. That she owed Ben Solo her life; that the more she thought about it, the less she wanted to be a bounty hunter. Though that only made her consider whether that thinking was solely due to the connection she had with Ben. 

For as long as Rey could remember, she had wanted to follow after her father and in the space of a few days, those dreams had begun to melt away, and she wasn’t quite sure what her new liquid desires would be forged into. 

Was it truly her desire to be a Jedi, or was it to be with Ben? 

‘He is a powerful Force user, Father.’ Her brother spoke for her, catching her eye. ‘You said so yourself, she should be doing greater things.’ 

Din was silent, contemplative; only looking at Rey and not at the man beside her. ‘Go to where?’ He finally asked.

‘His uncle is Luke Skywalker,’ Rey responded, her voice low. She couldn’t quite believe that she was saying this. 

Ben’s eyes were on her, his gaze warm. She could feel his satisfied excitement, and it frustrated Rey because this was her life being unpacked and not his, and she couldn’t even blame him for it. She wanted this as much as he did. 

‘Ben says that he could train me; that I could learn to fight with these abilities, and to help others with them.’ 

Her father was quiet once more and he nodded. ‘I understand.’

‘She could be like Tarre Vizsla,’ her brother stated, passing the lightsaber back to Rey and approaching their father again. ‘Back when the Jedi and Mandalorians weren’t at odds.’ 

‘You talk too much,’ Rey mumbled, sighing. 

He stuck his tongue out and Rey’s gaze moved back to her father. The set of his shoulders told her how unsettled he was by it all and she wished that she could have had this moment alone with him. 

Ben met her eyes, and Rey felt an understanding pass through them both. He stepped away, moving towards his father, and leaving the small family together. 

‘You’re upset,’ Din murmured, sensing Rey’s confusion. 

‘I am a disappointment, father,’ she answered, trying to remove the distress and tears from her words. Her brother was at her leg, clutching it in comfort. ‘I said that this is what I wanted.’ She choked out a sob and her father’s free hand reached for her forearm, holding her securely. 

Din was silent for some time. ‘You could never disappoint me. If this is your path, then I will support you.’

‘It can’t be that simple.’ 

‘Why can’t it be? I am your father, you are my daughter. I will only ever be on your side.’

Rey shook her head, her vision fogging. ‘And if I take my helmet off to become a Jedi?’

‘You will still be my daughter.’

‘But it won’t be the same.’

‘No,’ he answered honestly. ‘Though denying what you want because of me would be unacceptable. Taking off your helmet will be an end to one journey and the beginning of another. Just like finding you and your brother were part of my path.’

Rey closed her eyes and sighed. She could hear her father holstering his weapons and his gloved hand took hers, squeezing them tightly. ‘Even without your helmet, we are still your family–your clan. And you are still the best fighter I know.’ 

Din looked to his son, whose expression was passive. ‘You can come back and teach me the ways.’

‘You won’t come?’

He shook his head. ‘I think it’s your journey.’

Rey chuckled, the sound filled with her tears. 

‘Do what you think is best, Rey.’ Din reached to grip her shoulder and squeezed it tightly. Rey knew what he had intended – he had stroked her hair when she was younger, and she knew that’s what her father had wanted to do now. ‘Remove your helmet only for yourself.’ 

She nodded and the three of them embraced, Rey kneeling to squeeze her brother in her arms and rearrange his cloak. ‘I will visit soon, so don’t worry.’

‘I would wreck your room if you didn’t.’ 

Rey poked her brother and stood again. Briefly looking over her shoulder, she could see Ben watching her carefully, but maintaining his distance. She concentrated on her departing father, however, swallowing down her remaining tears as her family alighted the ship and bid her goodbye. 

Once they were away Rey didn’t turn, she simply walked back to her own ship and sat at her pilot’s controls, staring at the darkening viewing port as night began to fall. Her hands were still bare and she scratched the durasteel with a nail, considering what her father had said. 

‘I’ve been selfish,’ Ben murmured. He stood at the opposite end of the ship, his eyes on Rey. ‘I — I’m sorry, Rey.’ 

Rey shook her head, closing her eyes. ‘This is just as much about you as it is about me.’ She turned slowly, and looked at him. ‘We are connected, no matter what we both think about it. Even against my better judgement, I see you and I feel—’ Rey huffed, laughing lightly. ‘I feel like my life is starting, like what’s happened before now has led me to this moment, and this is the beginning of something bigger than me.’ 

Ben’s expression was tense, his mouth curving downwards and Rey could feel despite not seeing why. His heart was beating too fast and he suddenly seemed worried. 

‘You can’t see your place in this, can you?’ 

He was silent and Rey stood, approaching him carefully. 

‘I left Luke — I told you so and I told you why.’ He frowned, his fingers pulling through his hair. ‘I was so toxic, it was like I poisoned everything I touched. Most of his students hated me, I can’t go back—this is just for you, Rey.’

Rey snorted. ‘You talk so much about me; you tell me exactly what we are to each other, and then so quickly want to exclude yourself when I’m finally agreeing.’

He huffed, seeing the humour in it, though he only looked up when Rey’s hand lifted softly to his jaw. 

‘You’re voluntarily touching me?’ 

‘It’s so you can’t pretend that I didn’t say it explicitly.’ 

‘What?’ 

‘I see you, so deeply within me that I wonder how I didn’t know before. I feel like if I’m with you, I’ll never be alone.’ Ben closed his eyes, breathing deeply, his hand reaching to take Rey’s where it held against his jaw. Her thumb stroked across his cheek. ‘We’ll work it out together?’

He breathed, nodding, his hand tightening on her own. 

‘If you could see my face, you’d see that I’m smiling.’ Rey said, and Ben’s eyes opened, a smile lifting his expression. 

‘You waited to use that against me, didn’t you?’

She nodded and straightened, taking a step back and releasing Ben’s face. He was looking at her carefully, and she could see the frustration in his face that he didn’t know her expression, even if he could feel what she felt. Rey waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. 

‘It’s not so bad,’ he started, taking a seat again. ‘Now that I’ve seen your brother, I’ve got a good idea of what you look like.’

Rey burst out laughing. ‘Don’t make jokes at my brother’s expense.’ He grinned and Rey found herself staring at it easily, glad that she wasn’t hindered from seeing it by a mask. ‘You said you saw me in your dreams anyway.’ 

Ben smiled, nodding. ‘I suppose it’s the only way I can imagine kissing you.’ 

‘You can kiss my helmet.’

He rolled his eyes, faking a laugh. His hand reached for hers and he looked it over carefully, before bringing it to his lips. Ben kissed her middle knuckle gently, looking up at her to gauge her reaction by the shape of her shoulders. The action was too slow, too tender, and Rey felt her heart speed up and nerves spread through her body, down to her stomach, making her almost queasy. 

‘I can kiss every other part of you instead.’

Rey hummed placidly before clearing her throat. ‘Perhaps you should go onto the Falcon and I’ll follow after you.’

He laughed, grinning. ‘I didn’t think I made you nervous.’ 

‘You’re evil.’ 

‘I’ll be back in five.’ 

Ben stood, hurrying back down the ramp and Rey set herself the task of cleaning up more of the ship, ignoring her shaking hands and how warm she felt. The helmet wasn’t helping her cool down at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave comments.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I might have cut this one a little short, so may have to adjust chapter count accordingly. I'll know by next update :)

When Ben had gotten back onto the Falcon, Han seemed to breathe in relief at not seeing anyone else following behind him, and Ben snorted as his father moved to sit in the pilot’s chair.

‘It’s not like Rey’d just come along and abandon her ship.’ 

‘Rey, is it?’ Han grunted, shaking his head. ‘I never thought you’d inherit your mother’s diplomacy. How on earth did you manage to talk yourself out of imprisonment?’

Ben grinned. ‘Good looks and great hair.’ 

Chewie threw some trash at Ben and called him an idiot, though the young man’s smile didn’t falter. 

‘You look like you’ve been steamrolled by a bantha. Do you really think he’d have been capable of seducing a Mandalorian with his face like that, Chewie?’ 

The Wookiee considered it and Ben chuckled, grabbing for the backpack that sat on the dejarik table. They at least hadn’t left it on Socorro. Ben sifted through it, finding his sparse belongings were in reasonable order. The hair ornament he’d bought for his mother – which he’d thought had been lost on the port – was tucked into a side pocket too. Even though he hadn’t been with Luke for six years, he hadn’t quite fallen back into ownership of many possessions.

‘Buckle up, we’re getting out of here.’ 

Ben looked back to his father, who was ready to set off. ‘I told you, I’ve got to get Rey to Luke.’ 

Han sighed and turned in his seat. ‘‘Fraid you’re gonna have to go on your own then, kid. Your mom called while you were with the Mandalorian. There’s something big going on with the First Order, and it looks bigger than they had anticipated.’ 

Ben frowned. ‘Shouldn’t we let Luke know?’

‘I think your mom wants to hold off on involving him just yet. Though if Force users are involved on the other side…’

‘Kriff,’ Ben murmured, brows furrowing. ‘I want to be there.’

Han nodded. ‘You know where they are?’

Ben nodded. ‘Ileenium system. D’Qar.’ 

‘What if the Mandalorian wants to stay with Luke?’ 

‘I’ll borrow her ship, then,’ Ben answered, though the words burned in his throat. The idea of leaving Rey behind alone wasn’t exactly satisfactory, even if he had been suggesting it for days now. Saying it to someone else made him realise how much he actually disliked the idea.

He didn’t know what would happen, but this wasn’t his decision to make alone. 

‘Let me change and pack a bag and I’ll get out of your hair,’ Ben said. 

Han nodded and watched as his son moved into the back of the ship, his backpack in his hands as he went through stuffing clothes and credits inside. He jumped into the refresher to wash the blood and grime from his body, before slipping into fresh clothes and taking one last glance at his cot. Ben had a feeling he wouldn’t see it for a good while. 

‘Anything you want me to tell Luke?’ Ben asked as he ducked through to the cockpit again. 

His father snorted. ‘Just take a picture for me. I want to see what the old fart looks like now after six years.’

‘You’re older than him, dad,’ Ben laughed and his father waved him away. ‘See you when I see you.’

‘Take care. No more Death Gangs.’ 

‘Smuggler’s honour,’ he promised as he slipped out from the Falcon. 

By the time Ben reached the Crown Horn, the Falcon had set off and Ben felt himself relax. 

It was just him and Rey again. 

**#**

Rey felt some relief at seeing Ben’s small backpack slung over his shoulder. She still wasn’t sure she was completely sold on them being a travelling duo, so the fact that he hadn’t brought absolutely everything he owned with him made her feel like she still had some control over the situation.

Her questions regarding why he’d taken so long were also answered, as Rey noted that he was dressed in fresh clothes, and his trousers were definitely tighter than before. 

‘I hope you’re alright with me staying here.’ 

Rey grimaced, wishing she didn’t have to speak her grievances out loud. ‘I only have one sleeping quarters.’

‘I don’t mind sharing.’ 

She groaned and moved past him as she continued to clear up.

‘Is sleeping in your helmet comfortable?’ He queried, following after her, and placing his bag on the counter. 

‘You ask far too many questions.’ He grinned and Rey turned to him. ‘You live for this, don’t you?’ His nod just left her releasing a loud groan and she closed herself away in her refresher, trying to drown out Ben’s laughter.

‘I’ll set us off, then.’ He called through the door.

Rey sighed, staring at the wall for a moment before deciding to have a shower. She eased out of her clothes and removed her helmet, looking over her wounds and removing the dressings. Selecting an anti-bacterial solution, she had a long shower in the stinging water and put a fresh set of clothes on. The gash at her back needed bandaging again, and she walked out with a sigh, trying to make this situation as simple as possible.

Ben, however, was already sitting on the edge of her cot in her bunkroom with the medi-kit in his lap, sifting through the supplies and removing bandages and bacta-gel. It left Rey feeling some apprehension as this time it was highly unlikely that they would be suddenly interrupted if things turned...unprofessional.

‘How’s your leg?’ She questioned, sitting beside him.

‘Not as bad as your side.’ He answered, a frown on his lips as he concentrated on the tube of bacta-salve. 

Rey was silent again and she turned her back to him, lifting her tunic up. Eventually she felt his cool hands on her waist and the gentle application of bacta. It was soothing and she sighed softly, feeling the stinging swelling beginning to abate again. Ben worked quickly and then he was wrapping her side in bandages, his breath warm on her shoulder as he held her closely to wrap it around her front. 

‘Why do you really think it’s me?’ She asked quietly. ‘In your dreams.’ 

‘Intuition, maybe?’ He considered, and Rey put a little space between them. Ben turned her forearm in his hand, his thumb tracing a vein and then dropping to a small cut at her wrist. ‘Though I think it’s this. How it feels to be near you, to touch you like this.’ 

‘Am I beautiful?’ 

Ben chuckled. 'The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life.’

Rey scoffed. ‘Then it’s definitely not me.’ 

He smiled. ‘I’ll never get you to believe me, will I?’ 

‘You’ll eventually ask me to take my helmet off.’ 

‘Why do you think that?’

His hand tightened and then slipped down to her hand, his fingers gripping her own, and his expression serious. 

‘I am being realistic.’ Rey huffed, though did not pull away from him. ‘This situation is out of our control, but I won’t forget or ignore reality.’ 

‘And I won’t let you speak for me, just like I won’t speak for you.’ 

Rey grimaced and he seemed to sense it as he smiled and looked directly at her. 

‘Your attempts to push me away won’t work. I don’t have to see your face to know you, so you’ll have to walk away first. It won’t be me.’ 

And Rey found herself glowering, knowing that even if she tried to fight it, she was already too far gone. She wanted to be able to hold his gaze; wanted to be able to kiss him, to feel the pad of his thumb draw over her lips—her cheeks. To feel her eyelashes brush against his face and for him to see her own smile strain in reaction to his. 

‘You’re beautiful, Rey. In every way possible.’

‘You’re ridiculous.’ 

Ben grinned and she watched him lift her hand again, but she pulled it away before he could kiss it. 

‘I know what you’re trying to do, Ben Solo.’ 

He chuckled. ‘You know I don’t think that’s fair, I don’t even know your family name.’

‘Djarin.’ 

‘I didn’t expect you to give that up so easily.’ He looked at her carefully, seeing right through her. ‘Though I have the distinct impression that you like me. Tell me if I’m wrong.’ 

She pinched the inside of his upper arm and Ben jumped, laughing. 

‘You want to kiss me just as much as I want to kiss you?’ He jested, smile wide. 

‘You’re such a headache.’ Rey should have stood but didn’t and Ben watched her carefully, his eyes drawn to her shoulders once more, and she realised that he had very quickly found her tells. ‘I’m clearly looking for death by keeping you here.’ 

‘The best things aren’t far from a little death.’ 

Rey scoffed. ‘I hope those lines haven’t worked for you before. Can you do anything but try and seduce me into my own bed?’ 

He smiled. ‘Well we are already sitting on it.’

She looked down and hissed through her teeth, pushing him up and off it, and forcing herself to stand too. 

He was grinning at her though, and when she decided to flee from the enclosed space of her bunkroom to the enclosed space of the galley, he followed her. 

‘Can you at least do something constructive and put your uncle’s coordinates into the nav?’ 

Ben skipped past her, but was back within minutes. ‘If you want to sleep I can watch over the ship.’ He paused, looking at her carefully. ‘If you trust me to do it, that is.’ 

‘No, you should sleep,’ she answered. ‘You’re running around like your face doesn’t still look like a Thalasiren’s tit.’ 

He grimaced. ‘I’m taking full offence, and they are udders.’

Rey snorted, rolling her eyes despite Ben unable to see the expression and she pushed him towards the brig. He sat on the edge of the cot, looking up at her. She hesitated by the door, though she didn't close it. 

Rey began to silently pick through the remaining rubble the Guavian’s had caused, sending broken things into the trash compactor, while making notes on things she needed to get replaced. TK flew around her, fixing small things that he was capable of, and it was only an hour or two before the ship was in some decent shape. 

There were soft snores coming from the brig and she peeked inside to see Ben sprawled on the cot, arm hanging off the side and the blanket on the floor. 

Something tapped her shoulder before she felt the cool wind of TK’s rotors. He was carrying the medical kit, and Rey almost laughed as he dropped it in her hand. 

‘What are you trying to do?’ she asked the droid.

‘You said his face looked like the udder of a water mammal. Does he not require medical attention?’ 

Rey snorted. TK didn’t speak much, but he tended to be shockingly astute when he did. Still, she found herself moving into the cell and kneeling beside Ben. Sleep did nothing to disguise the mischievous air he seemed to carry all the time, though Rey was somewhat satisfied that she could look at him without being interrupted by his comments. 

It was relaxing to see the lift of his chest, to hear his soft breathing. Rey wasn’t sure how long had passed before she had the medical kit open and was sifting through her dwindling supplies. 

The shower he’d had before he’d come back had cleared most of the blood from his temple, and the cut there had closed for good, so Rey removed some cooling pads, and placed them over his swollen cheek and brow, trying to settle the purple beneath his eyes. The cuts on either side of his mouth were red raw still, and she pulled a mostly empty tube of bacta-salve from the kit and applied some to the cuts at his mouth with a cotton ball. 

Ben seemed to shift, but he did not wake, and she watched as the bacta did its work sealing the splits, her eyes settled firmly on his lips. It didn’t take much to visualise them in motion, to imagine his tongue slipping out to wet them when they were dry. To imagine how they would feel against her own. Against her skin...

Rey stood, closing her eyes and clenching her fists together. The heat of her own making was overwhelming her and she found herself at the end of her tether, unwilling to hold it off for any longer.

Swallowing back thoughts of how much of a bad idea this was, she moved through the ship back to her bunk and closed the door behind her, locking TK out. Rey didn’t take off her boots, her armour or her leggings before she was dipping her hand beneath the waistband of her underwear, and drawing her fingers through the building wetness there. 

She sighed, her head hitting the pillow as she pleasured herself to the thought of Ben: Of his hands on her thighs, opening her wider and lapping at her. The dreams had always felt too deftly poignant and real, as if they hadn’t just been her imaginations, but were solid fact. Somehow, Ben had made her feel those things in some reality, though if it was this one, Rey didn’t quite know what to do with that information, and what it meant for them now. Ben was no phantom of her dreams; he was whole and real. 

Her hand cramped at the too-fast pace she was forcing herself through – wanting to get this over with so she could regret it faster – so that Ben wouldn’t know what she’d done. Not when her thoughts were focused solely on him. 

Rey slowed, dipping a finger, then two into her slick entrance and groaning at how unsatisfactory it was in comparison to something as substantial as Ben’s own fingers would be. Though even then, maybe the size of him was a product of her own desperate imagination.

Her forefinger flicked over the bundle of nerves and Rey twitched, barely containing the moan that left her. His name...she moaned his name. Rey did it again and had to roll onto her side and clutch her blanket with her free hand as she continued, finding herself pulled further towards the end of it all. It didn’t take much more, and she was gasping, falling before she had realised how close she was.

Turning onto her front, Rey knocked her head against the pillow, cursing her lack of impulse control and wondering what she was going to do with her soaked underwear. 

**#**

‘Let’s play a game,’ the woman said, hands clapping together. 

Ben groaned, leaning back against the earth and the warm fire. ‘You’ve made me drink a whole bottle of rum without a game, so why do you want to play one now?’ 

Even in a dream he could get drunk. Go figure. 

She grinned. ‘I think you’ll like this one.’ 

He blinked and the fire seemed to grow brighter for a moment, before he was looking at her once more. Her smile was wide and she seemed eager. 

‘You remember the steps to the Futana waltz, right?’

Ben narrowed his eyes. ‘Barely, are you asking me to give you a performance?’ 

Another smile. Blinding. 

‘Dance with me. If either of us misses a step, we owe the other a favour.’ 

‘What are favours between you and me?’ He asked. 

The young woman snorted softly and stood, holding her hands out to him. In some way it was a legitimate question, and Ben was a little peeved that he couldn’t get an answer from her. So many half-explanations, as if the truth wasn’t readily available. Like he needed to unlock something first to hear it. 

When he was standing, somewhat shakily, she positioned their hands – one in hers, the other at her waist, while her free one took his shoulder. Then she began humming a tune for them to dance to. 

It was difficult enough without the proper music, and she laughed as they stumbled; counting out loud how many favours they both owed. It was too easy to lose time, but Ben felt his heart glowing as he closed his eyes and held her. Her familiar weight, the slight shape of her waist and her calloused hand in his. Though, as they slowed towards the end of the dance, Ben felt his skin continue to warm until heat began to bleed into his senses, wrapping around him and sinking into his stomach; deeper and lower. 

‘Ben.’ His name was a whisper, though the voice was clear. He knew that voice. 

A hand slipped into his pants and he groaned, a tension releasing at the touch. 

‘Ben.’

His name again, calling to open his closed eyes, while the hand was burning hot as it wrapped around his now hard length. The sudden onset of his arousal overwhelmed him and Ben groaned, his forehead falling against a shoulder as another hand stroked the skin of his stomach. 

‘Ben.’

This time he shuddered. He wasn’t sure if it was simply his name or the steady moving grip over him. Then he distantly heard a groan match his before he was awake, eyes up on the durasteel ceiling, his hand in his underwear, and his heart pacing steadily as it usually did after he’d come. 

Blinking down at his wet hand, he sat up, not quite believing what he’d just done. In his sleep of all things.

The door to the brig was still wide open, though he couldn’t hear anything but the whir of machinery. He reached for the pile of paper towels that sat in the corner of the room, cleaned himself quickly, and tried to think of something other than Rey’s voice and that hand. 

Once he had changed into fresh underwear, he moved through the rest of the ship to find that TK was at his charging port and Rey’s bunkroom door was still closed. The floor was much clearer, and the ship was almost how it had been before the Guavians attacked. Ben stepped through to the cockpit and he sat in the pilot’s seat, eyes looking over the star charts. 

He hadn’t put much thought into where they were going and why. Ben hadn’t taken the time to consider how strange it was that he hadn’t had a complete breakdown already about going back to the academy. Though now, with nothing but the galaxy speeding past, he realised how unprepared he was to face his uncle.

It wasn’t as if he had ran away without a word, nor snuck away on a ship never to return. He’d had to contact his father to collect him, and even though Luke had glowered about it all, Ben had still left a letter. 

Ben still couldn’t understand it. The mood his uncle had been in those last few months. It was bad enough that Ben had slept poorly, had constant nightmares that had only ended once he’d left the academy and pushed the Force to the peripheries of his mind. It was why Ben thought it had been for the best. If he wasn’t causing his uncle any troubles, he’d be better off. 

His hands gripped the steering yolk and Ben took a breath, trying to work through possible scenarios of how this would play out with his uncle. Even now he realised that the suggestion that Rey should visit Luke was simply because Ben didn’t know what else there was to do. He had quit. Against the wishes of both his uncle and father, he’d ran away because he’d been weak. No good. A disappointment. 

The thoughts overwhelmed him, and it was suddenly like he’d never left the temple. The words cycled through his mind, affixing like glue to wounds he’d thought had long ago become scars. 

He was going to fuck this up, he just knew it. Going back was a mistake. 

Pathetic. A quitter. A weakling. Legacy trash. 

It was like being thrust into an ice bath; and the arctic fears and dread he’d left frozen in time felt colder than even the freezing expanse of space.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh. It's been a long while since my last update. Sorry guys!! I have been super busy - changed jobs and all that jazz.  
> Here it is. I hope you enjoy. (I also sincerely apologise for any mistakes - I wrote so much delirious, that my edits were crazy extensive, so things will defo have fallen through the cracks. lol)  
> And also thanks for people sharing this story on twitter and facebook. It has filled me with oodles of happiness. :D

Rey’s nap had been brief. 

She was surprised she managed that much after changing into fresh underwear and berating herself the whole time over her actions. 

This wasn’t a common occurrence for her – to pleasure herself, and yet this was the second time in a week. There wasn’t a time where she’d felt any true yearning to do it; to give herself some relief, but now there was and she was embarrassed about it, despite knowing her embarrassment was unnecessary. All the textbooks said it was natural. To have urges was to be human. 

Though what had in fact woken her from her short nap was a strange cloud of anxiety that had pooled around her; covering her shoulders and tightening around her neck like a cowl. She rubbed her eyes as she sat up, and could hear the squeak of her pilot’s chair.

Pulling herself up, Rey moved out of the bunkroom and could see Ben curled over himself in her chair, the lights still dimmed to simulate a night-time cycle.

‘Ben?’

He didn’t answer so she moved closer. 

His distress was palpable: All sober melancholy. Rey reached for him, as she gently placed a hand on his shoulder and bent over to look into his face. 

‘Tell me,’ she murmured. 

‘What if it’s the same?’ 

Rey blinked, taking a moment to consider what he meant.

‘When I go back. What if it’s like I never left and it’s...?’ 

She crouched beside him, turning the chair gently. ‘Then you’ll tell me exactly what’s wrong and we’ll fix it together. We’re a team, aren’t we?’ Her hands slipped to his forearms and she squeezed them both tightly. 

‘I know,’ he closed his eyes, breath whistling from him. 

‘It’ll be different this time,’ Rey added. ‘I’ll be there, and you know now how well I can fight.’ Ben looked to her, and Rey hoped he could hear the mirth in her words. He was shaking under her grip and she held him still, trying to share some semblance of calm with him. ‘You have me,’ she said lowly. Her hand reached to his cheek, and her thumb drifted over the already yellowing bruises across his cheek. Rey’s eyes dipped briefly to his lips, and she was satisfied to see that the cuts were almost fully healed due to the bacta. 

‘Do I?’ 

Rey sighed softly and nodded. ‘I’m not going to run, I promise.’ Her hand fell away from his face to grip firmly onto his hand, before she placed it gently against the sternum of her armour, so his hand could splay over where her heart was. 

Ben watched her in silence before eventually nodding. 

‘Help me clean the rest up,’ she requested. Her hands were out to help him up, and when he took them, she pulled him to his feet, looking up at him once he’d reached his full height. 

There was a discomfort in his eyes that Rey caught, and though it was joined by a tinge of pain, he did not follow it up with any words. Instead he began to pick up the remaining scattered furniture, leaving Rey to her thoughts once more. 

She’d finally managed to tidy away what she had done into a small compartment in the back of her mind, and it was replaced with a sweeping feeling of regret. 

**#**

Ben took a deeper breath, closing his eyes and bracing himself for the beginnings of their descent. TK was hovering close by, looking through the viewport of the lush planet below them. 

The pair had managed to clean up most of the ship – except the things that had been destroyed, and the array of blaster bolt damage that covered most of the ship. Ben had felt his trepidation retreat from him under Rey’s warm touch, and he couldn’t stop looking to her, watching her, as if she had performed a magic trick. Even if it would be momentary, she had brought him respite and he was thankful for it. Though he then remembered once more that this was his uncle Luke, and they hadn’t left on the most perfect of terms. 

‘Maybe this isn’t a good idea.’

‘This again?’ Rey snorted. ‘Is he that bad?’

'He's just...set in his ways. Rigid and sometimes I wonder if I'd have been better off studying from a book than from him.' 

Rey was silent for a moment and then nodded. 'He doesn't sound too different from my father, then.' 

Ben sighed and he stopped when he heard Rey's light tinny chuckle. 'You're acting as if I've already promised myself to the Jedi cause.' She turned fully to him and her head tilted in question. 'All that talk about us being stuck together, it’s starting to sound like you were planning on leaving me behind.’ 

A frown drew across his face automatically. 

He could tell her. About the nightmares he’d had, and the real reason why he’d pushed the Force out of his everyday life. Though Ben knew he was still as unbalanced as he was when he’d left the temple six years ago. With or without the Force he was an unbalanced mess, who couldn’t meditate or wield a lightsaber. Hopeless.

‘You’re worrying me, Ben,’ she murmured. He looked to her briefly, before looking back out of the viewport. ‘Whatever it is you’re running from, you don’t have to keep it to yourself. I remember what you said; that you were worried that if you were to go back, something would go wrong; that the world would fall apart. But I won’t let that happen.’

'You sound as if you want to fix me,' he murmured. 

'Ben.' He looked at her once more. 'You're not broken.' 

He had kept tightlipped about his experiences before, but with Rey it was like having a weighted blanket placed over his shoulders. He felt comforted and understood by her, even when there was only silence between them. 

Before he could refute her words despite knowing that she was right, Rey shook her head. 'You're beautiful and whole, and this is your destiny too. You are mine to protect just as much as I am yours, and I would like that you wouldn't forget that.' 

His throat bobbed as he swallowed and he felt her comforting smile, even if he couldn't see it. The connection between them was strong enough that he knew and felt the honesty in her words. 

Up ahead the temple and the surrounding huts came into view, and Rey pulled the gunship over towards a flat patch of worn grass. Raised voices echoed from outside and Ben huffed as Rey unbuckled and gave TK an order to protect the ship. 

'Did you leave any enemies?' 

Ben laughed. 'Absolutely.' 

Rey poked him and she sheathed her sword to her hip before taking one last look around. 'Maybe we should have warned your uncle we were coming first.' 

Ben stood and shook his head. 'Either way he'd be annoying about it. I should probably go out first, though...you look like a threat.' 

'I think I should take offence to that.'

'You have full battle armour on.' 

Rey huffed and Ben grinned as he grabbed for his belongings, leaving his lightsaber sitting on the piloting controls where Rey had left it. 

As he walked over to the exit ramp, Rey pressed the button for it to open and he stepped out into the humid air first. Several of the older students were standing at the end of the ramp, training sabers held aloft. Ben descended and watched as a person pushed through the crowd with a huge smile, which then immediately melted when his eyes caught on Rey. 

**#**

It became very noisy once Rey had stepped out of the ship and bypassed Ben to stand amongst the sword-wielding jedi in training. He caught up and overtook her when she stopped in front of Tai who had his hand on the hilt of his weapon. 

'This seems like a threat, Ben.' Tai said with a raised brow. 

'Hardly.' 

'I take full offence, thank you very much.' Rey scoffed, and she looked around and then over at the smaller children who had only wooden swords. 

The grouping of children and young adults was disturbed by the appearance of Luke, who came running toward them and stopped when he saw Ben. 'So my good-for-nothing nephew returns?' 

'Under duress.'

'That's what happens when you decide to break galactic law with your father in tow. Is she your jailer?' 

'Not quite.' Ben responded, though looked chagrined. 

'You're a Mandalorian, aren't you?' One of the smaller children asked Rey.

She nodded. 

'I think you need new armour.' Another murmured. 

Rey sighed loudly and the children seemed to back off, not knowing her tone was full of humour. 'You are welcome to share your beskar supplies with me.'

Luke was silent as he briefly watched Rey before looking back at Ben. 'You are linked.'

Ben nodded and then cleared his throat, attracting the attention of Rey. ‘Rey, this is my uncle, Luke. The bald guy is Tai.’ 

‘I’m not bald, I shave my head,’ the man grumbled.

‘This is Rey.’ 

She held her hand out and the two men shook it. Luke still seemed to be examining her, and Rey felt herself becoming self-conscious, which wasn’t easy considering her helmet was a perfect means of hiding herself away. 

‘Come inside, we’ll have some tea.’ 

Luke’s small office within the larger temple building was sparse, and Rey looked about her before she sat in a proffered chair. There were a selection of books on a single shelf, though there didn’t seem to be anything particularly special about them. 

The Jedi Master began to heat water in a small fireplace in the corner and Rey calmed as the relaxing smell of sapir wafted through the room. When she glanced at Ben he was sitting with his back straight; completely immovable as he stared at some point on Luke’s desk. His nerves were palpable, even though Rey couldn’t fully understand them. His uncle didn’t seem to hold any ill will towards him, or at least that’s what she guessed from the older man’s easy smiles. 

‘So, nephew. What brings you here again?’ Luke asked as he lifted the kettle from the fire and placed it on a tray. ‘And with a guest?’

‘Rey is Force sensitive,’ Ben began. He nodded, waiting for Ben to continue. ‘And we...we have this connection, but we can’t quite figure out why and I thought that...I thought that it might be good that you train her.’ 

The pair watched as Luke brought the tray and set it down on the desk. He poured out three servings of tea and passed them around, then chuckled to himself, realising that Rey couldn’t drink the hot tea unless through a straw. He then sat and put a hand to his beard, stroking it softly as he thought. ‘I would think that considering the Mandalorian are the greatest fighters in the galaxy, that there would be little to learn from me.’

Rey smiled, encouraged by Luke’s words. ‘Training with the Force.’ 

Luke looked to Ben with a raised brow. ‘Ben was my finest student, did he not offer to do the job?’ 

‘Uncle,’ Ben murmured. ‘Just...I get the sarcasm, and I deserve it, but please can you just be straight forward?’

Luke chuckled. ‘Oh, that wasn’t sarcasm. I’m sure you’d be perfectly capable of training Rey.’ 

Rey looked to Ben. His fingers were gripping the hot tea cup, and she knew he must be scalding himself. She reached for the hand that rested in his lap and folded her bare fingers with his. 

‘Is that your way of rejecting me?’ Rey asked, lightness in her tone. 

Luke smiled and shook his head. ‘Assisting you in making your decision, and I suppose giving Ben an in.’ He sipped at his tea and leant back against his chair. ‘Choosing to stay here...it is no little thing. The world does not stop; it keeps turning, and we miss so much here, and even at times I doubt the usefulness of this school. There is still so little we get to do, yet the pair of you, I’m sure you could stir up more good than not out there.’

Rey smiled again, her hand squeezing Ben’s. 

‘The Force is not your enemy, Ben. Closing away the Force is not a means of finding answers, it is only hindering you.’ 

‘How?’ Ben’s brows were furrowed. ‘How am I supposed to find answers to anything?’

Luke smiled. ‘Patience and practice. The Force has its secrets and has its ways, yet can also aid in finding what you seek, no matter what that is. Whether that’s your belief in yourself, or Rey’s memories.’

‘You—How did you know?’ Rey asked, sitting forward and letting go of Ben. 

‘Something tells me that even if things were different, we would have been fated to meet, and not just because you are Force sensitive. Plenty of people have the affinity, but very few are like you two.’ He smiled and clapped his hands together. ‘The question is do you want to see your past and face it? Or move forward and think only of the future.’ 

Rey blinked, looking down into her lap briefly before looking back at the man. He made it sound so simple, despite her mind completely warring between the two paths. She’d always considered that getting her memories back was something she needed to do to truly live, even if it were to completely ruin her. And yet here Ben’s uncle was, telling her that she didn’t have to. She could choose to look only forward. Rey didn’t have to pretend that her future didn’t contain Ben, but how would her memories alter it? For the better? For the worse? 

Rey glanced at Ben, who had since relaxed his hold on his tea. His mouth was twisted and his brow was furrowed with uncertainty. 

‘How is it done?’ Rey asked, looking back to Luke. 

‘There’s a special meditation. It makes you relive memories like dreams. It isn’t technically dangerous, though the memories that resurface can be damaging in many ways. Though this is of course your choice to make.’

‘Must I make it now?’ She asked, voice tight.

He shook his head and drank more of his tea. ‘You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.’

**#**

The pair walked out of the temple in relative silence once Luke had excused himself to prepare another lesson. Ben wasn’t quite sure whether it was his place to broach the subject, but he was also aware that he’d promised his father he’d meet him sooner than later. 

Rey’s helmet was angled to the ground and he imagined she was watching their feet move through the grass and thinking. 

They only stopped when Rey halted around a small campfire and she sat on a flattened boulder.

Ben stood awkwardly beside her before she gestured for him to sit with her on the wide rock. He then lifted a stick to shift through the burned wood and ash. 

‘Was it really the Force that frightened you away from here?’ Rey asked, turning to him. 

He blinked, though struggled to find an answer that was a believable lie. It would have been easy to blame it all on the Force, yet he knew it was a foolish endeavour. The Force was the Force. It was pure energy; present and unable to take a side, or make an opinion.

‘No, though I suppose without the Force, I wouldn’t have known what had frightened me.’ 

She breathed, and it was a shuddering, nervous thing. Something that Ben hadn’t expected from her, and he was lost when Rey reached for his hand in both of hers, and held it in her lap. ‘What was it?’

Ben closed his eyes and sighed. ‘Myself, I suppose.’ He breathed through his nose. ‘That I’d become someone I didn’t recognise, and purely out of fear and loneliness.’

Rey was silent and he could feel the pain that tightened in her chest like it was his; it felt so similar to his own. Being on this planet, at the academy, it just reminded him of the night before he’d left. He’d woken from an especially vivid nightmare of him killing his uncle and his friends, and a voice in his head had been willing it to happen and had promised Ben that it would be for the best. The thought of it still chilled him. 

‘Is that what I am?’ She questioned. ‘A product of fear and loneliness?’ 

Ben shook his head. ‘That wouldn’t be possible. Not when you’re so full of goodness.’ 

‘I’m impressed that you think that way considering the amount of times I’ve beaten you.’ 

He touched his healing lip and pouted. ‘You’re also benevolent. Otherwise I imagine I’d be dead or frozen in carbonite by now.’

Rey grinned, amused by his continued compliments. ‘True. I am not as ruthless as my father.’ 

‘Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll get some food together and bring it to you. It must have been a while since you last ate or drank.’

‘I’m fine.’ 

‘I know you’re tired.’

‘But do you really want to be left on your own?’ She asked.

Ben looked over his shoulder, seeing a group of students practicing formations. He knew they’d eventually want to know why he was back. His departure had been sudden and he hadn’t been kind to those he’d left behind. Though Ben could barely remember what he’d said, only that he’d done it quickly to cut himself out of their lives. 

‘Let’s find something to eat together.’ Rey said with finality. 

Ben frowned, though he followed Rey once she was standing. Her fingers passed gently against his as they walked with Ben leading the way to the outdoor clearing which served as a canteen. The evening meal was already being prepared by Tai and an older student Ben didn’t recognise. 

‘You’re still here, then?’ Tai asked with a grin. ‘Master Luke set you up with somewhere to sleep, yet?’

‘We can sleep on my ship,’ Rey murmured, stepping closer to the pots of congee and the huge bowl of fruit salad. 

‘Hospitality says we should provide you with a place to sleep that has real air.’ 

Rey was barely listening, though, and was instead grabbing several bowls and balancing them all on a tray. Ben had never been a particular fan of Tai’s cooking, but after weeks on space food, he was desperate for something fresh and hot. 

‘So, Rey is it?’ Tai started again, and Rey’s head tilted upwards. ‘How did you have the misfortune of gaining Ben as a companion?’ 

Ben rolled his eyes, and gave Tai a firm look. Six years ago he’d been the best telepath of all of Luke’s students, so he could probably read both of them like books. Ben didn’t like the idea of Tai being able to expose their emotions when Rey and he hadn’t even shared them between themselves. 

‘A bounty gone wrong,’ Rey said with a sigh. ‘Your friend has become a criminal since you last saw him.’ 

‘Not surprised,’ Tai said simply.

Ben faked a laugh and reached for two bowls, letting Tai fill them. Tai filled all of Rey’s numerous bowls and she disappeared to remove her helmet and eat without interruption. 

‘You have the same heartbeat.’ Tai started, brows raised with interest. ‘Your emotions flow at the same pace. Is that why you’re here?’

‘You didn’t grow out of being a busybody, then?’ 

He shrugged. ‘I don’t have to try very hard to feel your emotions. They are just there, floating over you like a second skin.’ Tai paused and Ben took a bite of the hot congee. ‘You’re fated, then?’ 

‘That adds a layer of drama to it all, doesn’t it?’ Though Ben couldn’t deny it. He supposed they were. 

Tai snorted. ‘Linked then? Connected?’ 

‘Six years and still all you want to know is what’s going on with me.’ 

‘You talk as if you aren’t special,’ Tai noted, and spooned himself a bowl. He gestured to the benches and sat down, and Ben followed him. ‘You’re special and she is too. So I’m guessing you have brought Rey here because you’re still struggling to accept who you are, and if you leave her to Luke, you can continue to dismiss the path the Force has set for you.’ 

‘Thank you Master Tai, I feel humbled by your insight.’ 

Tai smirked and ate more. ‘I know you’re happy, Ben. You have somebody who you can look to, and someone who can look to you. Even if you need Luke to tell you that.’ He raised a hand, stopping Ben before he could complain. ‘And yes, you are doing just that.’ 

Loud conversation drifted towards them and Ben turned as students began streaming into the small shaded clearing and began to serve themselves. Tai finished his meal quickly and got up, helping the much younger students and leaving Ben to try and forget what the man had said. 

Rey appeared some time later with her empty bowls and was immediately swarmed by students, who showered her with questions about Mandalorian life, and requested to see the weapons she had. She was patient with them all, though by the time she got back to Ben, the place was empty and she huffed tiredly as she sat. 

‘Do you think you’d want to stay?’ Ben asked quickly. 

Though Rey wasn’t able to answer as they were interrupted by Tai returning with a bottle of whiskey, followed by a handful of older students who had graduated to knights since Ben had left. 

**#**

Tai pointed to an empty hut before he fell unconscious; slumped against Rey’s arm. 

Rey and Ben had taken great efforts to drag the half-dozen students back to their abodes, despite them all being drunken messes who clearly didn’t have the opportunity to drink often. Rey had watched amused as they lost in games and drank back more alcohol, while Ben was left relatively unscathed. His gait was only slightly off, though Rey had enough of her faculties to know what Tai had meant when pointing to a closed door.

Ben pushed through and there were two futons placed a metre apart. A small table with two chairs, a crate and a pail of water also sat in the corner. 

Rey stopped in the doorway as Ben went sifting through the crate and pulled out two sets of plain robes. He handed one to Rey and moved out of the door. She quickly removed her armour and changed into the plain linen clothes, before taking a seat at the table.

There was a knock before Ben came back in dressed in similar robes and he sat across from her. His hair was a mess, and she smiled, warmed by the simplicity of this night. 

‘I’ll sleep in the temple.’ He paused. ‘So you can sleep comfortably.’

Rey chuckled. ‘I’m more than capable of sleeping in my helmet. I do it all the time.’ 

‘I’m being polite.’ 

‘Is that so?’ She paused. ‘I do trust you, Ben.’

‘Why?’ 

‘Because you saved my life.’

‘It felt more like you saved mine.’ 

Rey snorted and quieted again, watching Ben carefully. His eyes flitted around the room, nervous, and she followed his gaze for several seconds. ‘Why do you never ask me about being a Mandalorian?’

‘It seems rude.’ 

‘You don’t want to know anything?’

Ben considered, then nodded. ‘How long has it been? Since you got your helmet.’

‘A little over a year. It takes a lot to be a Mandalorian, regardless of how...lax I am with completely following the code. I trained for eight years to get this helmet.’ 

Ben grinned, his fingers traveling in circles across the table. ‘Well I didn’t exactly think you went to a market and picked it out.’

Rey snorted softly and scratched at the edge of the table. ‘I picked the beskar, the shape, the colour. I’d been waiting for that day for so long, the day I would make my father proud of me.’ She looked at Ben, at his patient gaze, and to the warmth shining in his hazel eyes. ‘And now…’ she sighed and settled her hands onto the table. 

‘I’m sure your father hasn’t stopped being proud of you. He doesn’t seem the type to change his mind easily.’

Rey chuckled and nodded. ‘That’s true.’

‘Are you worried about what my uncle said? You know you don’t have to go through with it.’ 

‘It’s not exactly brave to be unwilling to face your own past.’

Ben frowned. ‘Your decisions don’t have to be made on the basis of bravery, Rey.’

‘But I can’t let fear stop me.’ 

He took a breath and reached for her hand, the calloused palm and fingers gripping hers and squeezing tightly. 

‘I know it won’t be good. Whatever I see won’t be good, and it’s not that I’m scared of that; that it will be bad. I’m scared that I'll lose myself. That somehow I’ll disappear and this person...this child I don’t remember being will drown me out.’ 

‘I don’t think that’s possible. Nothing could ever dull how brightly you shine,’ Ben said, his other hand joining theirs.

She sighed, looked down at their hands and watched her thumb graze his. Rey measured the difference between the size of their fingers and counted the scars that graced Ben’s knuckles. Like hers. Almost identical to hers. 

‘What are you looking at?’ Ben asked. 

‘Nothing,’ she responded easily. 

Ben grinned and he leant forward, lifting their hands so his elbows rested on the table. ‘I should ask Luke if this connection of ours makes it possible for me to read your mind,’ he commented, bringing their joined hands closer to him. ‘Then I’ll know exactly what dirty things are circling through your head.’

‘Sounds like deflection to me.’ She thought about pulling her hands away, but was distracted by the way he was looking at her. It was the expression the Ben of her dreams had used right before he’d—she shook her head, but Ben’s lips were gliding over her knuckles. 

‘We still need to talk about those dreams of yours.’ 

Rey groaned and Ben smiled wider. ‘It’s okay, you can be honest with me. At least if you change drastically tomorrow, you can pretend that it was a different you.’ 

She laughed hard enough she spluttered and had to take her hands back to hit her chest. ‘What will you do if i tell you?’

‘Whatever you want me to do.’ 

‘That is very ambiguous, Ben.’ 

His smile became gentle. ‘You know how I feel. I would do pretty much anything – within reason – for you.’ 

Rey was silent and she wondered if Ben could sense her doubtful smirk, but he laughed then and scratched the back of his neck. ‘Fine then, I would absolutely do anything for you.’

‘Stop,’ she murmured. 

‘I can’t, I inherited my honesty from my mother.’ 

‘I hate you.’

He chuckled. ‘No you don’t.’ Ben watched her carefully. ‘Maybe you hate how I make you feel, but that’s the extent of it.’ 

‘Fine, but you have to tell me about yours first.’ 

Ben grinned. ‘Easy. Very wholesome homestead life, with plenty of baked goods, fishing and fire-side sweet treats.’

‘Really?’ Her tone was one of confusion.

He nodded. ‘Though I definitely woke up covered in cum the other night.’ 

‘Ben!’ She had already reached across the table, covering his mouth with her hands. Perhaps he’d drunk more than she had thought, though in her effort to protect the ears of the sleeping children in the huts that were at least fifty metres away, she momentarily forgot to compute what he had actually said. Ben’s eyes were alight with mirth and they pulled Rey in, making her forget herself for some time. The thought that he’d...to dreams of her…

Before Rey had the thought to protest, she had rounded the table and was sitting sideways in Ben’s lap, her hands still covering his mouth, and her helmet-covered eyes solidly drawn to his. He was waiting for her to say something, and Rey felt warmed as his large hands slid to her waist and thigh, holding her solidly. 

‘They were horrible.’ She murmured, her breathing too loud in her helmet. Even the machinery wasn’t able to lower the sound when it escaped through the mouth vent. Ben’s brow furrowed in clear confusion. ‘It was like having a kebab dangled in front of me. A constant tease; like my mind was telling me what could be, but deciding to make me frustrated instead of giving me what I wanted.’ 

She dropped her hands, and they fell to his shoulders as he watched her.

‘I could give you what you wanted right now.’

‘Shut up, Ben.’ She sighed, and her eyes turned to his lips. Ripe and full. 

‘You don’t have to avoid it, Rey.’ He smiled. ‘We’re both adults here, and I want you to know how much I want you.’ 

‘I remember our fight well enough.’ 

Ben closed his eyes and groaned. ‘Look, sometimes they happen at the most inopportune times.’ 

‘What about now?’ She looked to his lap and Ben fidgeted. 

‘You have way too much ammunition against me.’ 

Rey chuckled. ‘What are Mandalorians if not utterly dangerous?’

‘Cultists in strange uniforms?’

‘I’m so tempted to sneak back to my ship and abandon you here.’ 

Ben smirked. ‘You wouldn’t. You can’t get enough of me.’ He was laughing again, the hand that was on Rey’s waist having floated to her lower back and his fingers drew slow shapes there. 

They had drawn closer together without Rey particularly realising and it was when she saw his breath fog her helmet that she swiftly stood. 

‘I’m going to sleep now.’ 

‘So you can dream of me?’ He suggested. 

Rey glared, annoyed for once that he couldn’t see her expression. He moved towards the wooden door, though and she made a step towards him. Before he could slip through, he paused. ‘Can you stay?’ He hesitated, and Rey could see him cycle through questions that she knew she couldn’t answer. She wanted him here, that was all she could say. ‘Only if you want.’ 

He shut the door, and turned the lights down so that only the moon shining through the skylight of the hut. 

Rey slid into one of the futons, pulling the sheet around her and watched Ben as he did the same. 

‘You’re going to be with me, aren’t you?’ Rey began. ‘Tomorrow.’ she clarified. 

‘Do you want me there?’

She nodded and he reached for her hand, his arm cold against the stone floor as he grasped her fingers. Rey leaned towards him a little more, holding the appendage firmly. 

They were both silent and Rey watched as Ben’s eyes gently fluttered until they closed and then he was breathing heavily in sleep, their hands still connected. Utilising the Force, she slid her futon closer to his until they were touching, with his arm against the soft and warm cotton, and their hands still clasped together. 

Everything could change tomorrow, so Rey stayed awake just a little longer, hoping that it would only be for the better.

**#**

Ben squinted against the sunlight that poured through the skylight of the hut. He went to turn onto his side, when he noted Rey’s fingers were curled around his and she was almost lying on his futon, curled into a foetal position beside him. 

Ben rubbed at his face as he sat up, taking a few moments to clear the fog of his sleep and grumble at the headache several glasses of whiskey had caused. His thoughts went to his uncle. He knew the Master Jedi would already be up, leading a morning meditation before breakfast. A part of Ben was jealous of the students who had remained, who seemed to feel nothing but peace out of this life. He wondered whether it would have been better if he’d stayed, but it seemed a needless thought. Too much time had passed, too much of his life had changed and he couldn’t go back to it.

He hadn’t gotten an answer out of Rey on whether she wanted to stay, though he’d been wrong to ask. Not when they hadn’t even gotten her answers. Everything could change after that – everything _would_ change after that, and Ben was sure of it. 

Closing his eyes for a moment, Ben concentrated on the gentle thud of Rey’s heart. He followed its beat like a song and it only confirmed to him that he would follow her anywhere. Even though he’d promised his father he’d go to the Resistance, it couldn’t be without Rey. 

Ben was still waiting for the ball to drop with Luke. waiting for him to berate him for leaving. Surely after six years he’d have something to say? He huffed, thinking about the eventual argument that he’d have with his uncle when Rey shifted beside him, her grip loosening on his hand before she sat up, looking at him. 

‘Did you dream of me?’ He jested.

Rey was still for several moments. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking, though he could feel her mix of emotions, bubbling headily to the surface of her mind.

He held her hand more firmly, then folded their fingers together. ‘I’m here. You’re stuck with me and we’ll see to it together.’ 

‘Promise?’ 

Ben laughed and loosened his hold on Rey’s hand before turning their pinkies together and shaking them. Before he could comment, Rey had breached the space between them and her arms were around his neck as she hugged him tightly, pressing him further into the futon with her full weight. 

It was brief and Ben blinked at her in confusion while she stood, bypassing her armour and weapons and gunning for the door. 

She looked just like a Padawan. 

**#**

Rey couldn’t remember encountering something more unnerving before. Not when she had faced down criminals, guns blazing and with her father in her ear, attempting to correct her when they were in the middle of getting shot at. 

Yet this. It was like a strange calm before the storm. She anticipated something was going to change profoundly, and she felt her trepidation settle deep within her like a stone in her gut. There were many things to be fearful of, but the worst thought Rey had, was that this would change her beyond recognition. The person she’d built herself to be would suddenly cease to exist, and no matter how much Ben told her it wouldn’t happen, she still felt it would.

‘Are you comfortable, Rey?’ Luke asked.

He was sitting across from her on the soft rug, the atmosphere warm and light. She could faintly smell pastries wafting in through the windows and the gentle droning of the students preparing dinner outside helped Rey to settle her shoulders and give the old Jedi a curt nod. 

Rey and Ben had spent most of the day shadowing Luke’s lessons after the older man had told them they’d have to wait until the late afternoon. Watching the Jedi Master exhibit his skills had eased Rey’s worries that this proposed meditation to retrieve her memories would go terribly wrong. 

She glanced at Ben, who stood in the corner of the room, watching them both carefully, and she thought, not for the first time, that she wished he were closer. Holding her. 

‘Now this type of meditation is usually only used for recalling a single memory, so do keep in mind that you have no obligation to take more from the well than that. It’s important to focus on something that can help pull you out. Perhaps looking at your hands, pinching yourself, or even looking into a mirror. I can help you if you struggle, though it will be less of a shock if you’re able to get yourself out.’

Luke took a breath and his hands squeezed hers. ‘Rey, this is the past. It has already happened and cannot change the present, it can only change your actions in the future. You will still be who you are, just remember that.’ 

She nodded, and closed her eyes. Her grip loosened on Luke’s hands, though their palms stayed connected between them as she carefully slipped into meditation, and Luke spoke: 

‘Your life is like a river. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. A journey that may split into streams, pour into huge lakes and cascade down waterfalls. Though in the end, there is always a meeting, always a conclusion; that big ocean of life. Without the snow on the mountains, trickling down into the river, streams, springs and lakes, there would be no end. 

‘This journey then, upstream and back to the source of our lives is difficult, and can be a fearsome journey, but remember that you should not fear yourself, even if you fear your past.

‘We find ourselves at a lake; wide and deep; full of life. Full of everything you value in this world, full of your deepest emotions and the memories you hold most dearly onto. It is everything that fulfills you, but also everything that hurts. We must sift through those feelings, and find something that ties us to the past, and follow it back upriver. What is the first thing you remember that you want to follow?’ 

Rey saw it before her. The wide blue of the water. How expansive it was, despite her fears that her life was too small, that she had so little. Yet it was full of so much love and joy, that she felt tears prick at her eyes. And there sat her fear, that fear that had always followed her, and was the first thing she could remember: How scared she had been in that box, how lonely and powerless she had been. 

‘The box,’ she murmured. ‘Loneliness.’

‘Let’s follow that. Find that trickle of water, make it solid and pull yourself against the tide as if it is a length of rope. There was a before the loneliness, there was the causation. Can you see it?’

Rey’s eyes shifted beneath her lids as she concentrated on that emotion, despite how it ached, and knowing that it had not been a singular occurrence. There was so much of it, that Rey thought that perhaps all she’d ever been was lonely before her father and her brother. The box she imagined eventually transformed, becoming a lavish room with a bed that was drenched in emptiness. 

No friends. No one to love her. To hold her. She’d cried in that bed, night after night, though silent and shaken. Outside of that room there had been pain – bruises, broken bones and frustration, annoyance. Not her own. Emotions that did not belong to her, though stagnated within her chest. Fetid and festering. 

Rey tried to look away from it, but she kept pulling. This was important. This was what she needed to see. 

‘What else do you see, Rey?’

She hadn’t realised she’d been recounting what she saw out loud. The river seemed to be pouring from her, slipping down her cheeks. 

His hands were pale, old. Always instructing, always punishing and correcting her again. And she never left that room. Cold and alone. Always alone. 

‘Who are they to you?’

Her mouth moved, mumbling and stuttering. ‘M-my master? My gr-grand-grandfather.’

The word seemed to shine a light and Rey could see where the river had split into streams, flowing from her pain and anguish. The further she went, the more potent the agony. The room slowly housed thoughts consumed by violence – that she was meant to kill, that she existed for harm at the behest of this unknown man with pale, withered hands. That she was his secret weapon. And still she screamed as he beat the fight into her. She fought against it, though the images still flowed – of ships burning up in the atmosphere, of stormtroopers screaming, of that power living within her. Being hers one day, when her time came. A future mapped out for her. 

And then she ran. That was the path Rey followed when she looked back, and turned toward the natural current of the water. She had hidden herself in a shipping container, flown for days and days until her father had found her. 

Rey felt comfort in the warm embrace of her father, of that love. She could open her eyes, though a heavy force weighed her down, sinking deep into her chest. 

Luke and Ben were looking at her with wide eyes. Ben had come to kneel beside her, his expression a picture of grave worry, and Rey felt foreboding added to the weight. Felt her own life slipping from her without any words.

‘Palpatine?’

Rey’s eyes snapped to Luke. The name was familiar. She knew the name. ‘Who?’ she asked.

‘You repeated his name.’ He murmured. ‘When I asked your name, when I asked for the name of the man with the pale hands.’ 

She shook her head. ‘I don’t remember saying that. I didn’t, did I?’ She looked to Ben, who nodded. ‘Who…’ she didn’t finish as Ben stayed silent. 

‘Sheev Palpatine became Darth Sidious. The Emperor of the Galactic Empire.’ Luke sighed softly. ‘The man who I thought my father killed, but…’ Luke shook his head, frowning. ‘He must have survived it. Must have found a way to bide his time to regain his power.’ He looked to her, his piercing gaze assessing Rey. ‘And you ran. It would not surprise me if he has been looking for you this entire time.’ 

Rey looked into her lap, eyes squeezing closed and listening to the gentle whir of her helmet, trying to sort through her thoughts; through the memories she had just retrieved. They were sparse and had almost not felt like her own, yet they tugged like they belonged, like she couldn’t unpick the thread that had sewn them to her mind. 

A hand touched hers then, rough and familiar and she breathed, opening her eyes again. 

‘Do you remember at all what he has planned for you?’ Rey shook her head and Luke sighed. ‘Nothing good, I’m guessing.’ Luke looked to the ceiling briefly before looking back at the pair of them. ‘Rey can’t have been his only option. You spoke of star destroyers?’ 

‘I saw drawings once, are they not from the before?’

Luke shrugged. ‘There’s no telling. He may have an army at his disposal. It’s already been thirty years.’ 

‘Would he not think Rey dead?’ 

‘I’m not sure,’ Luke responded. ‘His connection to her may be as strong as mine to your mother’s. If he shares her DNA, if he knows her within the Force, then maybe. Though maybe not.’ The older man pulled lightly at his beard. ‘You called him master before grandfather. For all we know, he may have seen your potential within the Force, and taken you from your family.’

Rey stood abruptly, letting go of Ben’s hand and looking down at them both, her chest aching. ‘I’m going to take a walk.’

‘Are you sure?’ Ben spoke up. ‘I can go with —’

‘ — I’m fine Ben. It’s just a walk.’ Rey added a steeliness to her words, despite the shudders that tried to take a hold of her. If she was further from Ben, then wouldn’t he know less of what she felt? How powerless she felt now. All those years, and she’d forgotten. Forgotten the danger she had ran from, and may have led to her family. To Ben. 

By the time her feet hit the solid earth, she was crying, but walking steadily. Speedily towards the nearest copse of trees. Rey looked to her hands, and now seeing the scars and calluses that covered them, she knew what had made her so adept at fighting. She knew what violence sat deep within her heart, even if her memory of its formation was limited. 

Rey broke off into a run, trying to work herself into some other emotion that wasn’t a black shroud of melancholy. Something that didn’t feel like heartbreak. 

**#**

‘This is just the beginning isn’t it?’ Ben murmured, fists clenched as he looked to the floor and tried to burn Rey’s retreating figure from his mind. 

Luke sighed softly. He pulled the chair from behind his desk and sat, hands clasped on the surface. ‘I would hope that it would be the end. Finally the end, but who are we to know?’ 

Ben looked to his uncle and sighed. He could feel Rey’s distress, and it weighed heavy in his heart. ‘There’s no chance she could be confused or there’s something missing?’

‘Something like the danger already being over?’ Luke’s mouth twitched into a wry smile beneath his beard. ‘We can hope.’ 

There was silence between them for several seconds before Luke spoke up again. ‘What are you going to do?’

‘I don’t know.’ He murmured. ‘Whatever will mean there’s a world where Rey is safe and can live without fear. That there’s no possibility of some spectre shrouding her life, whether alive or dead.’ Ben’s thoughts went to his dreams; how effortlessly peaceful he had lived. Where it had all felt so real. ‘I want her to be able to live her life however and wherever she likes.’ 

‘Then that’s the answer. With enough hope you can drive out any fear.’ 

Ben met his uncle’s eyes. ‘Will you come if we call?’

He smiled and nodded. ‘Always.’ 

The young man nodded and he stepped out from the office, making his way through the temple and searching for Rey. They could do this. They could make things right. It had been the two of them against the Guavian Death Gang, and they’d made it out. This could just be another fight. 

His feet led him meandering around the grounds, following the pull of the Force. Ben retraced Rey’s tracks through the trees and then among the huts, trying to send comfort to her along the chord that connected them. 

In the end, he found Rey back in the hut, sensing her pain through the walls as he stopped outside of it, debating whether to go inside. 

It was the weak cry that made his decision for him, and he pushed the door open, stepping silently inside. 

Ben frowned as he watched Rey’s shudders from the door. He didn’t know why she hadn’t been honest; nor why she had preferred to hold it all in.

He moved towards her and the padded futon she was lying on. She stilled for a moment, sensing him and he laid beside her, pulling her against his chest. They were both silent until Rey began to cry again and he squeezed her more tightly. 

‘I’m here,’ he murmured. ‘I’m here.’ 

‘I should have died in that box, then he would have lost. There wouldn’t be this possibility, this fear.’ 

Ben hissed through his teeth, trying to keep his own thoughts and feelings to himself, but every part of him revolted against Rey’s words. ‘Do you think so little of your life that you would retrospectively end it?’ She was ready to say something, but he interrupted. ‘I know you’re scared. I’m scared, my uncle’s scared, but that doesn’t mean we have to give into the fear. You’re here now. You’re alive. I can feel you breathe; I can feel your heart beat even now, and it’s too strong to be quieted.’

‘But what am I supposed to do? I’m just...I’m just me.’ He smiled, knocking his forehead gently against the back of her helmet. ‘And I can’t expect you or your uncle, or anyone to just...to put themselves on the line for me. You need to go somewhere far away from me.’ Her breathing quickened and she fidgeted. ‘If he finds me, won’t he see you? He’ll use our connection against us both.’ 

Ben chuckled softly, and she paused, keeping several moments of silence, before she turned gently in his arms. He could feel her eyes on him, and he could taste her confusion at his mirth.

‘I remember something someone said to me.’ 

‘What?’ She asked, sniffling. Her tears had still not halted.

‘You're beautiful and whole, and this is your destiny too. You are mine to protect just as much as I am yours, and I would like that you wouldn't forget that.’ 

‘It’s not the same.’

‘Why is it suddenly different now? Have a few memories changed everything?’ 

Her head dipped to his shoulder momentarily and her fingers and thumbs picked at the sleeves of his borrowed robes. 

‘You don’t have to.’

‘I want to.’ 

He could hear her shaky breaths – not dissimilar to those she had made while she cried on the ship and he had held her. It had been like she was tearing a piece of him away. Even the memory of that pain and suffering still caused an ache in his chest unlike any he had felt before. 

Rey was important to him. And he’d meant every word he’d said to her. He couldn’t just let her walk away, he couldn’t just pretend that the Force hadn’t brought them together. Hadn’t given them this connection. 

Even still, she kept her gaze on him as she cried, and then reached forward. Ben half expected that she’d strangle him, but her fingers slid to his stubbled jaw, and then her warm, calloused palms were against his cheeks, her thumbs running along his skin. He knew she was holding his gaze, and in that moment Ben desperately wanted to hold hers. He’d told her he’d never ask her to remove her mask, but in that moment it was all he wanted.

And it was in that moment that he knew he was in love with her. Inexplicably and irrevocably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I bumped the chapter count. Oops.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, I've been looking at this for weeks!! The words began to fold into one blob HAH.  
> That's because the smut is incoming (I didn't warn you about that, did I?) Hmmm. Well here's a taste. Hope you enjoy!!

Rey woke up with the sun streaking across her visor and the gentle murmur of voices drifting through the hut’s skylight. She turned, burrowing against the wide expanse of Ben’s chest, her fingers clawing at the waist of his borrowed robes, and her legs curling more tightly around his. 

Rey was at least thankful that her dreams had been inconsequential. Though, that was until she paused and felt something hard pressed against her stomach. She was well aware that the best course of action would be to move; to get up and think about something that wasn’t Ben’s morning erection sitting between them, pressed against her. Instead she simply and suddenly found herself wide awake. 

For the few moments before Ben woke, she looked into his face: The softness of his sleeping expression and his rouge and full lips. He hadn’t shaven since she’d met him, and stubble drifted along his jaw, chin and below his nose. Without any conscious effort or thought, Rey’s fingers were ghosting across the thin hair, until her fingers stopped over his lips and her curiosity got the better of her. She touched them carefully, drawing a line down from his top lip to his bottom, and then along its expanse. 

Ben’s partially opened lips turned into a smile and he blinked awake. 

‘Are you feeling better?’ 

‘Not as good as you’re feeling,’ she murmured.

Ben closed his eyes, letting out a long breath of annoyance and Rey chuckled. 

‘Kriff, sorry. But as you’re back to mocking my ill-timed erections, is that a yes? Though I’m beginning to think you like them.’ 

‘Don’t be silly,’ she murmured, but didn’t slip from his arms nor from being pressed against him. Her hand had not moved away either, and it slid from his chin to his jaw and then her thumb was tracing the shell of his ear and her fingers were combing through the mess his hair had become. 

Ben found her hand and took a hold of it, pulling it down to their side as he looked at her. His fingers were reading the pulse at her wrist and Rey knew what he was trying to figure out. Her thoughts and feelings were so easily concealed behind her helmet, despite the bond between them.

‘You are...better?’ While it had been posed as a question, Rey could see that he wasn’t asking with the expectation of a verbal response. 

‘Is this a new power of yours?’ She asked. ‘Able to tell my mood by my pulse?’ 

He smiled lightly. ‘Well I have to find other ways, don’t I?’ 

Rey huffed softly and she began to extricate her wound limbs from Ben’s body, but he held fast onto her, his expression not giving anything away. Even though the bond connected them and their emotions, it wasn’t wholly nuanced. It was like stop and go lights – the more extreme the emotion or feeling, the more distinctive they felt. Like this; with them both wrapped in each other, Rey couldn’t untangle her own emotions from Ben’s. It was all just a warm amber, gently simmering within her chest. 

‘We didn’t decide,’ Ben said eventually, tone sober and his fingers still studying her heartbeat. ‘What do you want to do?’ 

Rey paused, forcing her fear back down and away from the forefront of her mind. It was easier with Ben’s hand on her pulse, grounding her and reminding her that she was alive, that he was alive, and there was so much that they both still had to do. 

‘We’ll find him before he finds us,’ she murmured, heart spiking. ‘And I’ll make sure he pays for what he did to me.’ 

His gaze drilled through her and he nodded, lifting her hand to kiss at her wrist briefly. Rey’s mouth went dry as she watched him and her mind yet again drifted to the erection that still sat between them like a proposition. Though she supposed it was. 

‘You know there’s a strange contrast between me speaking about taking out my supposedly dead supposed grandfather and you still pressed against me.’ 

‘Do you want me to move away?’ The hesitation was enough for Ben to grin. ‘I knew you liked me.’ 

‘Don’t get carried away.’ 

His smile relaxed and his thumb rubbed the skin of her knuckle. ‘I told my dad we’d meet him at the Resistance base. I think it’s a good start, and it gives us the chance to get whatever intel my mom might have and go from there.’ 

Rey nodded. ‘Do you think it’s all connected? The Ex-Emperor...those ships...and the First Order?’

‘I don’t know.’ He swallowed and his brow furrowed, though he didn’t speak straight away.

‘Tell me,’ she said quickly. ‘I know you’ve been avoiding saying something.’

Ben snorted softly, eyes bright. ‘You could tell?’ 

She nodded and waited. 

‘I’d thought that...well now I’m almost certain that your memories are real; that the Emperor is alive.’ He began, and he chewed on his bottom lip. ‘When I was here at the academy...even before I was here, and before I’d pushed the Force to the extreme periphery of my existence, I’d felt like someone was in my head. Someone coaxing me into doing things and trying to lead me down this path, and manipulate me. Well I say that in retrospect.’ He closed his eyes, frowning. ‘At the time I’d thought it was my grandfather. At least for a bit. I thought he was leading me towards some greatness, some higher power, and was showing me what my uncle didn’t know and couldn’t teach me. But I’d have nightmares constantly, so I was always terrified and tired and when they eventually leaked into my lessons I’d say horrible things... I’d do things I shouldn’t have, and all because I was scared of myself and the things I saw when I slept.’

‘And it stopped when you left?’ 

He nodded. ‘When I stopped using the Force, when I ignored that hum until it was just dull sensation, the compulsion left me too. The voices stopped, the pain stopped. I hadn’t considered that it could have been something else outside of my own making. That perhaps I wasn’t the mastermind behind every terrible thought I’d had, but now...now I think it must have been him. It must have been the Emperor.’ 

‘Then why not me too?’ Rey thought aloud. 

‘Maybe he truly thinks you’re dead? Perhaps you cut yourself from him without realising, or he never had a hold on you to start?’ Ben paused. ‘If you can’t feel him, then there’s a chance he may not be able to feel you either.’ He swallowed. ‘He — the Emperor has been a poison to my family for decades, so perhaps it was easy for him to sink his claws into me, perhaps even into my uncle. I made myself vulnerable, I made myself an easy target’

‘Why would you say that?’ 

Ben sighed. ‘I wanted to be led. I wanted to be influenced.’

Rey chewed on her lip, silent for some time and the pair of them listened to their soft breathing, Rey’s slightly affected by her helmet. 

‘Your mother...you said she leads the Resistance?’ Ben nodded and Rey repeated the action. ‘Then I think you’re right. That’s where we should start.’ 

Ben nodded, and Rey could see his relief. He hadn’t wanted to part ways with her. He wanted them to do this together.

‘You’ve got to get this under control, though,’ she said, pointing to the front of his pants. At least  _ that _ had eventually simmered down.

He snorted and his arms tightened around her, his face pressing into the space beneath her helmet and at the slice of exposed skin at her clavicle. Rey felt his lips there and she almost melted into a puddle at the sensation. 

‘We should put eachother out of our misery,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘I’ll give you what your dreams have rudely been preventing you from having, as well as my unlimited devotion.’

Rey laughed. ‘Do you usually only offer devotion with a limit, then?’ 

‘You think so badly of me,’ he groaned, pressing his lips to the base of her throat again.

‘Aren’t there rules against fraternising here? I thought Jedi were celibate?’ 

Ben snorted. ‘My uncle gave up on that concept years ago. Tai used to joke that perhaps the original Jedi order wouldn’t have fallen if they’d all at least gotten to bone once in a while.’

‘And he’d approve of this?’ 

He glanced up at her, raising a brow. ‘Do you want my uncle’s approval?’

‘I wouldn’t say I want his disapproval,’ Rey said with a confused frown, trying to make sure the expression could be heard in her tone. 

Ben backed up, loosening his hold on her until only a hand remained on Rey’s waist. ‘Just tell me when, and I’ll give you everything you want.’ 

‘How do you know what I want?’ Rey asked with a snort. 

He smiled, more widely than she’d ever seen him smile, and Rey knew she wouldn’t like his answer before he’d even said it. ‘Just a hunch. I think the situation with the cum in my pants didn’t come out of nowhere. I think I’m fully prepared to blame you.’

‘I didn’t think conspiracy theories were your style, Ben.’ Rey answered, trying to sound nonchalant as she spluttered.

His expression turned devilish; his smile shifting into a smirk. ‘How many times have you touched yourself since you met me?’ A hand reached to her wrist again and Rey felt her own heart rate spike, so knew he could too. ‘I thought so.’

‘That doesn’t mean anything. You can’t make a conclusion from that.’ Her voice was just a little too tight. 

‘You don’t have to be dishonest with me, Rey. I want what you want, remember? This isn’t a trick, you must know that.’

Despite hesitating, she nodded. She did know that. Just like she knew that Ben wasn’t just some stranger, and that when she thought about being with him in that way, there wasn’t any fear in her heart. Not of him, not of that. 

‘I know, I trust you,’ she murmured. ‘I’m just not used to this.’ 

He smiled warmly, his palm rubbing along her arm comfortingly. ‘Neither am I.’ 

Rey couldn’t prevent the tightening she felt in her chest at the simplicity of it, at his expression and the gentleness in which he’d held her. Not just now, but the days before. Holding her despite everything that had passed between them previously. He knew her heart, and she knew his, and Rey found that it was all that mattered.

‘Let’s get breakfast and then get out of here?’ 

She nodded and they fully untangled themselves. 

**#**

Ben, for the first time in years, began consciously taking deeper breaths, almost as if he were trying to meditate as he stepped out from the hut. After what felt like an eternity, his erection had finally calmed down. It had been surprisingly persistent, though he imagined it was partly due to the way his heart was pacing. 

He’d never thought that his own emotions would overwhelm him. Ben had gotten quite used to having an understandable level of expectation when it came to his own feelings, so he struggled with clearing his thoughts as he made his way through the complex and to where he knew his uncle was – overseeing the breakfast line.

Luke watched as the students spooned heaping moundfuls of oats into their bowls, and he merely blinked at his nephew as he approached. 

‘You’re going?’ He questioned, reading the determined expression on the young man’s face. 

Ben nodded. ‘Rey’s coming with me.’ 

‘Good.’

‘Good?’ Ben raised a brow. 

‘I’ve done a lot of thinking over the years since you left,’ Luke murmured. ‘My way isn’t the only way, Ben.’ He sighed and his hands slipped in front of him, clasped together. ‘If the Force calls you elsewhere or otherwise, who am I to stop you?’

Ben was silent, not quite sure how to respond to the unexpected words. 

His uncle smiled gently, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. ‘Your going gave me a reminder that the Force was here before the Jedi ever were. It’s here that matters most,’ he poked the young man in the chest, making Ben wince. ‘The Force will take you where you need to be.’ 

Ben swallowed, thinking of Rey. ‘I need to be with her.’

Luke chuckled. ‘And what are you going to do?’

‘We’re going to follow her memories.’ 

The older man nodded, and without Ben consenting, pulled his nephew into a tight hug. ‘You know, you don’t need to be a jedi to wield a lightsaber.’

Ben leased a breath and pulled out of his uncle’s grip. ‘Is that a hint?’

He looked down as his uncle lifted his hand and dropped something warm into his palm. Three glittering stones shone back. 

‘Just in case.’ 

Ben couldn’t help smiling as he looked at the crystals and then back up to his uncle. ‘Thanks.

‘Don’t mention it.’ He had turned away with one final smile, and then was immediately hounded by several students.

When Ben turned himself, Rey was approaching, newly dressed in her armour and tilting her helm expectantly at him. He slid the crystals into his pocket and met her halfway, smiling once he stopped in front of her. 

‘You’ll have to tell me what your expression is saying,’ he murmured. 

‘That you’re acting very suspiciously.’

Ben hummed gently. ‘It turns out my uncle doesn’t think i’m a disgrace after all.’

Rey snorted and then pushed on his arm, turning him around so they could grab food and then begin to say goodbye to Luke and all his proteges. 

**#**

Rey chewed on her lip as she watched Ben settle into the co-pilot’s chair. TK was busying himself with maintenance before they set off, but she couldn’t look away from the man beside her. 

The memories...they were still overwhelming. It had taken hours for her to fall asleep the night before, even in the cocoon of Ben’s arms. But she could still see his face – the Emperor’s – looming over her. It was because of him that fears came to her unbidden and unconsciously. This power that surged through her...it could have been because of him. And if he still lived. If there was even a chance...

‘Tell me what you’re thinking.’

Ben’s voice disturbed her thoughts and Rey breathed, feeling a lightness take over her as she actually looked at Ben; seeing him properly and not behind the haze of her anxieties. 

‘You can tell me anything, you know that, right?’ He asked.

Rey felt a small smile erupt from her. ‘Perhaps I don’t want to tell you just anything.’ 

He narrowed his eyes, though Rey could see his shoulders relax at her own relief. It was strange how their emotions could flow between them as if brought by the breeze. Rey concentrated on inputting coordinates, feeling Ben watch her carefully. 

They’d agreed to visit his mother, knowing that any intel that his mother would have would be useful. That what they were doing would benefit his mother, the Resistance, and the entire galaxy.

Rey sucked in a breath and leaned back as she started up the engines and pulled them upwards, and out into space.

‘I know you didn’t sleep much, I can take over,’ Ben suggested.

She chewed on her lip in thought. ‘I’m fine.’

He snorted. ‘Think you’ll have another dream about me?’ He was grinning; so smug about it all. Rey regretted telling him now, though she could tell he was jealous of himself, and she didn’t need the Force to tell her that. She could feel it in how he looked at her. Everything was so extreme between the pair of them, and Rey hadn’t forgotten how aroused he’d been by their fight. That he had enjoyed it. 

Rey decided to change her tune, and she put a lightness in her voice. ‘Hmm, I definitely think I will. And you know what’s best about dreams?’

His brow had furrowed. ‘What?’

‘It’s all in my imagination, which you don’t get to see.’ 

Rey watched his jaw tense as he stared at her, and though she wanted to continue playing with him, she couldn’t help the laugh that burst from her. 

‘TK, go and recharge,’ Ben murmured. 

Her helmet-clad head turned to watch the droid as he complied and Ben reached across the console to put the ship on auto-pilot. 

‘Are you going to fight me again?’ Rey asked, grinning, though watching him carefully. ‘I know how much you liked that.’ 

She didn’t relent, even when he stood and drew closer to her, standing and looking down at her as if he were going to give her a taste of her own medicine. 

‘I will be honest with you, Rey.’ His throat bobbed and Rey came to the realisation that his jaw was set and expression flat because he was nervous. Visibly nervous. ‘I will always want you. And yes, just the idea of you being close to me like that left me in a...situation before, but that’s the truth.’ 

Rey straightened, not finding this particularly funny any longer. ‘You want me?’ 

The Ben of her dreams wanting her was one thing, but real Ben, in the flesh, wanting her and he hadn’t even been able to see her face? He hadn’t seen her smile, laugh, glare at him...he hadn’t even kissed her, and yet he wanted her. 

She swallowed and it was almost audible, embarrassingly enough. Her nerves were overwhelming her again, filling her with uncertainty as Ben took her hands in his. 

‘Don’t.’ She murmured before he could press his plush lips against her wrists in that spine-tinglingly delicate way of his. Even though her thoughts were already cycling through what it would feel like to have his lips on more than just her hands. 

He looked to her, ready to say more, but he didn’t, and instead straightened and took his seat again. He swallowed, looking to the stars that shot by and Rey knew what the rejection did to him. It was more than her rejecting his advances, it was her folding herself away again. Ignoring their shared yearning and pretending it wasn’t there, despite the fact that the emotions he felt were carved identically in her own chest, formed before she’d ever met him. Fated. Meant to be. 

‘I’ll make us something to eat,’ he finally said, standing again and moving towards the galley.

Rey just listened as he opened cupboards and packets of rations. 

**#**

Ben didn’t know what he expected, though it still stung, regardless of how much he’d worked himself through it in his head. His feelings didn’t matter more than Rey’s, and he had to be satisfied with that. 

He would take her jesting, knowing that it didn’t have to mean more. That words and actions were different things. That regardless of what she might have felt for him in her own heart, this was something else. Intimacy was something else. 

It helped that at the very least he wasn’t embarrassed. In some way, Ben admitting to himself that he loved Rey had made embarrassment the last thing he could feel when it came to her. He would give himself freely, regardless of whether she would mock him for it. 

Rey was folded in the co-pilot’s chair when he came back with a sandwich made with bread taken from the academy, and she glanced at him when he held it out for her. She took the plate, but did not make any moves to leave in order to eat. 

‘What am I like in your dreams?’

He hesitated, wondering the meaning of the question, and what value she saw in his answer. ‘Now you believe that it’s you?’ 

‘I will decide when you answer the question.’ 

He narrowed his eyes, but took a deep breath. ‘Greedy,’ Rey cleared her throat at that. ‘Thoughtful, smart and willing to be self-deprecating for my benefit. Warm...and loving. Always giving of that love without pretence. Wholly and beautifully.’ 

Rey watched him and in the silence that sat between them, Ben couldn’t tell what her reaction was. He sobered at the thought that perhaps she hadn’t really wanted to hear the truth. 

‘I’d like to take you up on your offer,’ she murmured. ‘If you wouldn’t mind.’ 

Ben nodded, smiling briefly. He watched as Rey got up, taking the sandwich with her as she moved through the gunship towards the bunkroom. He could hear her remove her armour and then heard the squeak of the cot as she laid down. 

**#**

Her sleep was dreamless. 

When Rey woke up, she felt the sting of tears at Ben not being there holding her, and knew almost immediately that she had been spoiled while they’d been at the academy. Now she missed him. 

As if attracted by her melancholy, Ben was at the door looking at her with worry, and then he was kneeling in front of her as she sat on the edge of the cot. 

Rey wished he could wipe her tears away with his thumbs. Wished he could kiss her. 

‘I don’t want it to be like this forever,’ she said, voice croaky from sleep. 

Ben frowned, not understanding. 

‘I want you to kiss me.’

If he was surprised by the confession, he didn’t show it. 

‘My father said that taking off my helmet would be closing the door on that life. That it would be the end of that journey and the beginning of another. One where…’ she swallowed, her throat tightening. ‘...One where nothing would be the same. And I keep feeling as if that will be me losing what I had. That even though my father says it won’t be the case, I’ll be losing my family, and it will erase every moment of my life with them up till this point.’ Rey sighed, voice shaking. ‘But even still I want to be held by you, cherished by you. I want to be loved by you.’ 

His hands were on her forearms, thumbs pressed gently against the pulsing veins there, and settling Rey down slightly. ‘If you don’t want this, you don’t have to take it, Rey.’ He murmured. ‘Just because the Force has brought us together, it doesn’t mean you have to be with me. In any capacity. You have to make the decision for yourself, and nobody else should do it for you.’ Ben breathed, and Rey could see the torture it took for him to say it. ‘You can return to your life, if that’s what you want. You can choose not to remove your helmet, but that won’t change who you are. That won’t erase what has made you who you are, the good and the bad both included.’

Rey’s head tilted upward and she knew his eyes were meeting hers. 

‘You’ll always be Rey.’

Her hands wrapped around Ben’s forearms, and they both took several breaths. ‘Okay.’

‘Okay?’

Rey nodded and Ben didn’t have time to react before she had pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. Her helmet squashed his neck, but all the same, he accepted it and held her tightly. 

When she loosened her grip, she didn’t push him away, and Rey found her hands resting at his chest, feeling the pace of his heart beneath her palms and finding that rhythm in her own. 

‘How long until we get there?’

‘About 16 standard hours,’ Ben answered, eyes skittering between her hands on his chest and her helmet. 

Rey nodded and swallowed, the sound ringing in her helmet. ‘Can you help me with my tunic?’ 

Ben blinked. ‘You’re taking it off?’

‘I told you what I wanted.’ 

He laughed then. ‘I didn’t...I thought,’ he breathed out, and Rey could see he was surprised. ‘Could you be a little more specific?’ 

Rey set to lifting the hem of her tunic as Ben watched her with wide eyes, and when it caught on her helmet, he helped her free it, leaving her in her bralette. 

‘Can I just preface this by saying that this isn’t usual for me. In fact i’ve never done this before.’ 

‘Propositioned someone? Stripped in front of someone?’ Ben questioned, the smile returning to his face.

‘Both.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Being a bounty hunter is busy work.’

Ben laughed. ‘I thought my dad was your first job?’

‘First solo job.’

He grinned and edged closer to her, his hands sliding around her waist. ‘Solo job, hey?’ 

Rey snorted. ‘Shut up.’ 

‘There is something I did want to do for you, especially considering what you said to me the other night.’

‘What?’ her voice was clouded in confusion and he chuckled softly, his fingers tightening on her. 

‘I’ll give you your kebab this time.’ Rey couldn’t help bursting out laughing and she was followed by Ben. ‘Okay, that sounded weirder than I expected it to.’ 

Her fingers gripped onto the edge of his shirt, pulling it over his head. ‘I don’t mind it so much.’ 

Ben paused, eyes soldily on her visor and Rey resisted sighing at the disconnect between them. She couldn’t let this go on forever. She’d just told him she didn’t want to, yet she also couldn’t bring herself to remove her helmet, even when she’d just asked Ben to remove her clothes. 

‘Really?’ He grinned and Rey scooted back onto the cot, watching as he kicked off his boots and climbed onto it with her, kneeling between her legs. 

Rey nodded, breathing heavily as she watched him. His hands pulled gently at her leggings, rolling them down her thighs and exposing her already damp underwear to the artificial atmosphere. 

‘Tell me if I should stop,’ he murmured, and Rey breathed out through her nose, wondering whether she should. 

She felt his lips against her – warm and plush; his tongue pushing out to taste her flesh and parsing over her skin as he trailed her thighs. Rey couldn’t stop the gentle hums leaving her throat, her fingers pulling at the bed cover beside her legs. 

A huff left her when Ben’s hands slipped between her legs, itching closer to her underwear. 

‘I’ll make it good for you,’ he muttered, sucking on her skin.

Rey chewed down on her lip hard, realising that even though her dreams had felt distinctively real, they didn’t light a candle to this. Not Ben’s gentle, calloused hands on her thighs, nor the soft strands of hair that now folded between her fingers. 

His hands crept higher at her hips and he pulled at her underwear. Rey sucked in a breath as he removed them, freeing her to the cool air. He didn’t move for a moment, and Rey knew his eyes were trained on her anatomy and she almost wanted to shirk away from him. 

‘Is it weird that I’ve seen the most intimate part of you before seeing your face?’ He queried, though Rey didn’t get the chance to respond, as he bowed forward. She couldn't stop the cry that left her when his mouth pressed against her. He wasn't delicate or slow, and Rey found herself clinging to the sheets for purchase as if they were being boarded by the Guavian Death Gang once more. 

Her groan was too loud and she felt the shift in his expression, smugness descending over him as he pulled himself closer, holding her thighs in each arm and licking and sucking at her. She felt his desperation in it, the lust that they had both felt and she had resisted, even when Ben had not. It was dizzying knowing this was real and that it was Ben making her feel this way. 

His nails tightened on her and the cot rocked slightly as he tried to rub himself against the surface while he pleasured her, the pressure of his own arousal clear in her mind. 

‘You're — ugh — Kriff.’ Sentences unravelled and Rey fidgeted as he pressed harder, unrelenting with his attention to her as sweat dripped down her neck, and she stumbled upwards to her peak. His name fell from her lips and his fingers tightened again. Rey tried to say something more substantial; to express in words what she felt, though her thoughts seemed to build like a wave that could never quite make it to shore. 

Ben let out his own groan and Rey felt herself laugh, the strange reaction seeming foreign in the moment, but still he drank her down, consuming her until she let out a cry: The wave finally cresting and reaching its true destination.

They were both silent as Rey slowly drifted down from her high, her breathing heavy and her chest rising and falling. Ben took a breath and then he was lying beside her, his breath misting her visor and his arm beneath her as she crawled as close as she could to him, feeling him hard against her thigh. 

'You’re not going to push me away again, are you?'

Rey didn’t know how to respond. This was real. She’d let him in and then had almost tried to push him away again and deny them both what they wanted. And that was more than sex, and she knew it very well. Her heart had been pacing before he’d even walked into the room.

Ben looked into her visor, and their eyes met in that inexplicable way of his. His expression was serious, even with his mouth still wet with her. 

'You don't need to fight me.' 

'I know...I'm not,' she murmured and closed her eyes before taking a deep breath. 'I know where I’m wrong.' 

Ben smiled then and he kissed her helmet, right between where her nose and mouth was. 'You could never be wrong.' 

He looked at her with such careful affection that Rey wasn't quite sure of what to do with it. It wasn't the same as how anyone had looked at her before, not with how it made her skin hot and her head rush. It was all heat; overwhelming and surprising. A sudden supernova.

Then he began kissing her, lips at her chest and then at her shoulder; and at the limits of her helmet. Kissing her until Rey was squirming with laughter. 


End file.
